Southerners Know How to React

NewsMax.com ^ | 07/30/03

[Phantom Lord]

Southerners Know How to React

Watch out who you call a nasty name - he might be a Southerner, and y'all will be in a heap o' trouble.

Southerners, it seems, are brimming over with cortisone and testosterone, and they tend to be quick on the trigger. That's according to eggheads at the University of Michigan, where shrinks wandered down corridors bumping into students and calling them names.

Students from the South reacted far more violently and aggressively than those from the North, and "in tests regularly suggested more belligerent solutions to problems," writes Britain's Spectator magazine.

At the root of it all is the nearly vanished concept of honor, which appears to be thriving south of the Mason-Dixon line.

The Michigan experiments demonstrated that Southerners "retain two vital aspects of the old honour system: a high degree of sensitivity to insults and a tendency to respond with violence and aggression," according to Spectator.

That sounds reasonable - except how does it explain Bill Clinton, Al Gore, John Edwards and Jimmy Carter?

[aomagrat]

That sounds reasonable - except how does it explain Bill Clinton, Al Gore, John Edwards and Jimmy Carter?

They're democrats.

[small_l_libertarian]

Overreact?!? OVERREACT?!? All right, now I'm p!$$ed!

Where's my rifle?

[Constitution Day]

I've never seen that one!

[TomServo]

"I'll kick your ass" Dixie ping!!

[labowski]

We also say "thank you", "you're welcome" , hold doors open, and help little old ladies across the street...............

[RedBloodedAmerican]

I don't think southerners are the ones with the problem. From the study, it is obviously the idiots who wander down corridors bumping into southerners and calling them names. People from Michigan (and others who have no manners) may think this the norm.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

And yo' lil dog, too!

[Blood of Tyrants]

Calling ME violent? I'll kick your @$$ for that! ;^)

[Pyro7480]

Question: to be called "yankee," does one just have to live in the areas designated as "not the South," or do you have to be condescending and arrogant along with that? ;-) (For the record, I'm a native of northern Delaware, but now live in Virginia.)

[Axenolith]

Time ta bust out the tar arn and break bad!

[Amelia]

Of course, some of us don't really give a #*$% what a bunch of damnyankees think.....

[Howlin]

Right! What the heck kind of test is that???

[Blood of Tyrants]

...a kick the asses of any Yankee who dares to say, "Up North we do it different".

[Cooter]

Perhaps its becausethe word a**hole is thrown around so commonly amongst the yankees that the offensive word gets filtered out, ignored like so much background noise.

[jla]

"That's according to eggheads at the University of Michigan"

Well, bless their hearts...

;^)

[Hatteras]

mumble, grumble, mumble, shotgun... grumble, mumble...

[Amelia]

Question: to be called "yankee," does one just have to live in the areas designated as "not the South," or do you have to be condescending and arrogant along with that?

If you're condescending and arrogant, you're a 'damnyankee'. ;-)

[rockfish59]

This corn is special, ain't it?

[Lee'sGhost]

Yes, but the Confederates killed Yanks at a rate of 2 to 1. Thank your stars for an endless parade of unwitting immigrants to fill the roles.

[Phantom Lord]

If you have never seen that episode you have missed one of the classics. After continually challenging people to duels and no one accepting, a southern gentleman finally accepts and Homer flees town and escapes to the old family farm. He can't grow anything so he fertilizes the fields with plutonium! Over night the fields fill with tomato plants. Problem is, they contain huge amounts of nicotine and taste like tobacco! Hence the name Tomacco.

It is one of the best episodes ever.