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Michael Moore Writes to the President (Turd in the Punchbowl Alert)

Posted on 03/17/2003 1:20:53 PM PST by Petronski

Monday, March 17th, 2003

George W. Bush 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington, DC

Dear Governor Bush:

So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I'm glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if I could take much more. So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON'T FIND THEM! Why? 'Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how that works!

2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues are that affect our daily lives -- and none of them begin with I or end in Q. Here's what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs two dollars a gallon -- the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.

5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let's see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What's that you say? You don't THINK so? Well, hey, guess what -- we don't think so either!

6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can be pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do -- tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can't get out of.

Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I'm guessing there aren't a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein. After you "win" the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves a winner -- and who doesn't like to see a good ass-whoopin' every now and then (especially when it 's some third world ass!). And just like with Afghanistan, we'll forget about what happens to a country after we bomb it 'cause that is just too complex! So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year's election. Of course, that's still a long ways away, so we'll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further down the toilet!

But, hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis -- they got our oil!!

Yours,

Michael Moore www.michaelmoore.com


TOPICS: Editorial; Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: antiamericanwar; antibush; anticapitalist; bowelingforoscars; fatliar; fictionaldocumetary; greenparty; leftist; liar; michaelmoore; mikeymoron; moron; propaganda; propagandista; socialist; stupidfatman; usefulidiot; workoffiction
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To: Future Snake Eater
...gas now costs two dollars a gallon -- the list goes on and on.

Pardon me, but has anybody out there seen two-dollar-a-gallon gasoline? And I don't mean Full-Serve Premium at the most expensive place you can find. Has anybody seen Regular Unleaded Self-Serve at over $2.00?

Not that a 30% increase in the cost of gasoline matters much...

121 posted on 03/18/2003 7:43:14 AM PST by gridlock (This tag line is printed with soy-based electrons on 100% post-consumer recycled ether)
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To: gridlock
I spent my Spring Break in the great white north of Pennsylvania, and the only gas I saw that was over $2/gal was diesel. The high-speed premium stuff was close, but not quite that much.
122 posted on 03/18/2003 7:45:58 AM PST by Future Snake Eater
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To: Future Snake Eater
The high-speed premium stuff was close, but not quite that much.

And yet it is part of the Liberal Anti-War mantra that gasoline costs over $2.00 a gallon. Meanwhile they drive past signs all day that say gasoline costs $1.639, and never make the connection. They buy 15 gallons of gas for the Honda, and it costs them $24.50, and they still will insist that gas costs $2.00 a gallon, and that it's all George W. Bush's fault.

123 posted on 03/18/2003 7:53:45 AM PST by gridlock (This tag line is printed with soy-based electrons on 100% post-consumer recycled ether)
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To: Petronski
can you see thelogic in this?
of course not.!!!!!!
because there is no logic. they arn't capable of logic
124 posted on 03/18/2003 12:05:38 PM PST by Walnut
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To: Walnut
The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you!

I'm still trying to figure this one out. Does he mean that we should give more credence to what the Chicks say than to what the Pope says?

125 posted on 03/18/2003 12:12:19 PM PST by GSWarrior
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To: GSWarrior
Both have about the same credibility as each other.
go figure
126 posted on 03/18/2003 1:27:24 PM PST by Walnut
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To: Petronski
This was properly fisked last night at Transterrestrial Musings.
127 posted on 03/18/2003 1:46:24 PM PST by NonZeroSum
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Comment #128 Removed by Moderator

Comment #129 Removed by Moderator

To: Behind the Lines in CA
Skidmarks for Saddam.
130 posted on 03/18/2003 2:09:53 PM PST by Madame Dufarge
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To: Behind the Lines in CA
...we have that whole MTBE/Ethanol thing going on

And you don't even want to know how much you are paying in California state taxes. Hey, but Gray Davis really, really needs the money!

131 posted on 03/18/2003 3:08:45 PM PST by gridlock (This tag line is printed with soy-based electrons on 100% post-consumer recycled ether)
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To: NonZeroSum
I found this on democraticunderground.com, written and posted by a supporting member with 2700+ posts:

I think it is very sad that Michael Moore has become the spokesperson for the Left. His best-selling book is juvenile, amateurish and full of inaccuracies. Hell, even THE NATION trashed his book as a waste of paper. His work may be funny, but that's about it.

Al Franken is also funny, but he also happens to be very well educated--something that Moore is obviously not. (Even by his own admission.) We need Al Franken to be our best-selling political satire author, not this dupe Moore.

I don't discredit him for being a Green, or for backing Nader, though I wish he hadn't. I discredit him because most of his arguments are so superfulluous. The chapters in his book "Kill Whitey" and that chapter about how women should rule the world show his ignorance about a matter so simple as civil rights. He suggests that women are more capable to govern because they would NEVER start a WAR... how could women do something like THAT? Has he met Dianne Feinstein.

...If Moore has become the spokesperson for the left it is a bad day for all of us.

I'm hoping that his new documentary "Bowling for Columbine", which I have not yet seen, might redeem him somewhat. The previews look very good.

But if any of you have seen Moore on Crossfire or any other news show it is obvious that his lack of education and his poor grasp of domestic and international policy and economics do nothing more than help the cause of the right-wing.

...My message to Moore: SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE F UP! YOU ARE HURTING YOUR CAUSE MORE THAN YOU ARE HELPING IT!

132 posted on 03/18/2003 6:44:15 PM PST by Petronski (I'm not always cranky.)
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To: Petronski
Why are we giving that lunatic the web space and bandwidth? There are no shortage of fools in the world, but since when do we want to respond to every ridiculous statement they make. It is beneath the integrity and dignity of Free Republic to post the comments of drug laddened, obese and sociopathic fools.

Never argue with a fool, someone may think you know what they are talking about.
133 posted on 03/19/2003 7:48:03 AM PST by Search4Truth (When a man lies, he murders part of the world.)
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To: Petronski
I never got past "Dear Governor Bush. I assume the rest of the letter is as stupid and disrespectful as that. I'm guessing no one, today anyway, gets away with that kind of "free speech" in Iraq. I wonder if that turd is ever grateful for that?
134 posted on 03/19/2003 7:50:54 AM PST by Republic of Texas
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To: Brandon
"Dear Miss Moore"

...If the shoe fits...-and in this case, it sure does! What a weasel!

-Regards, T.
135 posted on 03/19/2003 7:53:32 AM PST by T Lady (.Freed From the Dimocratic Shackles since 1992)
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To: Behind the Lines in CA
Michael Moore is the long brown stain in the week-old dirty underwear that is all that remains of the democratic party.

The visual image of that alone deserves a barf alert!

136 posted on 03/20/2003 9:52:29 PM PST by mafree (Who'd sleep with Michael Moore? EWWW!)
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To: Petronski; Byron_the_Aussie
Every morning upon awakening United States of America's President and Armed Forces Commander In Chief, George Walker Bush, picks up the 'phone and calls Michael Moore and/or Noam Chomsky -- and/or one or another of the other members of the self-appointed lunatic-fringe's anti-American hatred and rage brigades -- to find out what to think today.

Not.
137 posted on 03/22/2003 4:56:11 PM PST by Brian Allen (This above all -- to thine own self be true)
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To: Brian Allen
Well said, Bri! But y'know, I am kind of comforted that a mediocrity like Moore is centre-stage, in opposition to the President. If he's the best the Left has got I don't think we need to lose too much sleep. Great to hear from you, my friend.
138 posted on 03/22/2003 9:11:22 PM PST by Byron_the_Aussie
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