Spiting their pretty faces

World Net Daily ^ | February 3, 2003 | Vox Day

[softengine]

A recent story floating around the variety section of a newspaper I still read occasionally reminded me of a conversation I had with a college girlfriend about six months ago. She's a pretty woman – slender, petite, well-educated and intelligent. She has an excellent, high-paying job and even owns her own house.

She is, in short, the epitome of feminist success. And yet, she is profoundly disappointed with her life. She has, in her own words, continued to stumble upwards while somehow missing out on the only thing she truly wanted – a husband and a family.

Nor is she alone, in anecdotal or statistical terms. Not only do the majority of women who were in our college social circle remain unmarried, but according Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, author of "Why There Are No Good Men Left: The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman," a 30-something woman is three times more likely to be unmarried than her 1970's counterpart. While some might argue that this is a good thing, most demographics experts would disagree, as would, it appears, an awful lot of those 30-something single women.

While Whitehead correctly identifies the general problem, she is as clueless as the next feminist as to how to go about solving it. Instead of recommending that individuals change the one thing within their power – namely, their behavior – she advocates altering the entire system of courtship. Given this typically fascistic feminist approach, I am, of course, shocked that her six 30-something daughters and nieces all remain available.

But, as I told my friend, the root of the problem is that the kind of man she wants is precisely the man who is smart enough to stay away from her. Smart, educated women aren't willing to date down on the social scale, so the higher they rise, the more they cut down on their available pool of men. Furthermore, the smarter a man is, the more he is likely to realize that being romantically involved with an intelligent, educated, upper-middle-class American woman steeped in 20 years of feminist indoctrination is about as desirable as being flayed alive and rolled in salt.

Consider the premarital professions of the women in my social circle, all of whom are now stay-at-home moms happily married to intelligent, successful men: Farmgirl. Nanny. Teacher. Office manager. Nanny. Pipeline worker. Professional student. Church volunteer. That's eight quality men who won't be marrying a high-powered career girl right there.

The advice I gave my friend was succinct: In any given dating situation, think about what your instincts are telling you – then do the opposite. It's like football … if the run is getting stuffed, then throw the darn ball.

So, in the unlikely event there happens to be a 30-something single woman reading this, here are a few pointers which might be helpful while you wait for Ms. Dafoe Whitehead and company to change the dating culture:

1. Your rights are delineated in the Constitution. Everything else is a privilege.

2. Your family has to put up with you. For everyone else, it's optional.

3. Southern belles always get what they want. Watch and learn, grasshopper.

4. Sex as an incentive is fair enough. Using its deprivation as a punishment will backfire hideously.

5. Mocking your man in public creates a no-win situation. He can either slice and dice you verbally, which is no fun for you, or keep his mouth shut and look like an idiot. In the case of the latter, it doesn't mean that you've won, or that he's forgotten.

6. Men love happy women. Act happy and you may discover how to be happy.

7. If there's a doubt, choose the most optimistic interpretation. That's what he meant.

8. Honey, honey, honey – a thousand times honey. Never vinegar.

9. Conflict is not passion. It isn't any fun, either.

10. Limit yourself to five complaints and demands a day. If you're not counting, you're over the limit.

11. If no one ever taught you the traditional arts, find an older woman to be your mentor.

12. Your feelings and objectively verifiable facts may be different. Learn to distinguish between them.

Now, I'm not saying that applying these principles to your dating scene will turn frogs into princes or anything, but they will get you in the game. And if all else fails, just tell your next first date that you're thinking of quitting your job and returning to your former career as an aerobics instructor. He'll be intrigued, trust me.

[softengine]

I often post articles just for debate not because I always agree with them .....thought everyone else was doing the same.

Thank you. Exactly my intent. Lori Anne didn't get that..(smirk). But then, there are always going to be those who don't.

[softengine]

"You have no authority by which to state what is MOST important in a woman's life."

Again, can't fathom where you are getting this. No where and at no time did I assert any authority over anyone. Not once did I intimate authority over others, nor attempt to tell other women how to prioritize their lives. Not once.

As I mentioned, the article caught my attention and I thought it might interest others. In the future I promise to choose less controversial material.

[FITZ]

That doesn't mean that every searching single gal should pick up and move to New York or LA, but I've seen too many nice women continue to just sit around their small circle and complain, never making progress. If the chemistry can't be found within that circle, look outside the circle.

I had a cousin who didn't know where to meet nice men ---there wasn't a way to meet any in the work-place, her church didn't have a group for her age-range, she wasn't the kind that could or would want to meet her mate in a bar of dance club. She was determined to meet her future husband somehow so she made her own club with membership rules to include the types she wanted to meet, she put a lot of work into organizing the social events so that singles would have a chance to meet other singles in a no-pressure setting ---her club quickly grew in membership and she met several guys to date and within a short time she married. I guess if something isn't there, you can sit and complain or make it happen.

[Diddle E. Squat]

Bingo.

Good story, thanks for sharing it.

[Villiany_Inc]

So, gentleman, is it better to love a little, with only a small flame than to not experience the fire at all?

According to Principal Rooney: it is better to have loved a little than to have never loved at all. (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)
okay, so that isnt exactly what he said, but yeah I see your dilemma - do you 'settle/compromise' or risk becoming the lady that all the kids run past your house b/c you are the 'crazy cat lady'. Hard question to answer, but I believe in love- even a little bit of it.
For the record- I am 31, single, and have two cats...its already started!
(audio-visualize maniacal "crazy cat-man" laugh here:)bwa-ha-haaa!

[hotpotato]

But is there a culture out there that is producing young men that will generally make better husbands?

Yes. It's called enlightened. I hope your daughter finds it. Your son too, for that matter.

[anymouse]

Good for you.

[Lorianne]

You're right. I got you confused with another poster who made those comments. I apologize.

[Oberon]

This is my struggle, as a single 30 something gal.

So, since this thread was posted, has your AOL instant messenger been ringing off the figurative hook from all the great guys who've discovered you?

Or even just the one nice guy who'll take you seriously?

[AnalogReigns]

The fact that you, in a snide way, put down child care--in the person of nannys, while also putting down men--who avoid you--proves the author's points.

You are indeed so steeped in feminist assumptions you don't even know it--and that's a feminist of the most bitter kind. You don't have to be a liberal pro-abortion democrat admirer of Betty Friedan to be a feminist, as your remarks clearly illustrate.

The kind of lady I appreciate wouldn't think of mocking as inferior other women who actually like caring for children.

[unspun]

...him.

z);-»

[unspun]

Bears repeating, thank you

Don't say that! I still have IRA money in the market.