My Niece is Scheduled to Have an Abortion Today

Skooz | 1.30.2003 | Skooz

[Skooz]

Please forgive the vanity.

I received this email from my mom yesterday morning. Amanda is my niece. She is 18 years old and she lives with my parents. She just started college on a full paid academic scholarship:

Hi, Just wanted to fill you in on the latest around here. Miss Amanda is dropping school because she's...............................are you ready................ take a breath....................pregnant. She's going with her boyfriend tomorrow for counseling before having an abortion. His folks told him that unless she has an abortion he can never see her again. She wants him more than anything, so that's probably what she'll do. It's been a bad few days around here. She was going to wait until the end of the quarter (March) to tell us, but she got real sick a few weeks ago and came home. I think part of it was the flu, and part "baby" sickness. She still doesn't feel well. One of the worse things is he won't be 17 until April. So anyway.......I thought I'd give you a little shock to have with your coffee. I'll keep you updated.

Of course, we are stunned. I am really seeking some advice about what I can do or say. My entire family (except for Amanda) is staunchly pro-life. Her mother is beside herself.

Oh, and how about the "His folks told him that unless she has an abortion he can never see her again" thing? How about it pro-choicers? She is being coerced into having an abortion she doesn't really want. She has said (in other correspondence) that she wants to keep the baby. Her "choice" is being made by the father's parents, who want to be spared the embarassment.

She went to see a "counselor" at an abortion clinic yesterday, and they scheduled the "procedure" for today. Of course, the "counselor" at the abortuary is just a salesperson whose job it is to sell abortions.

Anyway, I have run out of options. I have prayed and will continue to do so. I have offered to adopt the baby and have referred her to a wonderful woman who has dedicated her life to finding good homes for children who would otherwise have been aborted, but my niece is not interested. She is ready to have her baby killed to make her boyfriend's parents happy.

I really don't know what else to say. God help us.

[Mamzelle]

Oh, darn...I MEANT...

Point out to her that she'll lose him if she has the ABORTION, absolutely. But the baby will keep him legally tied.

Fraught with danger.

[Chancellor Palpatine]

I'd suggest that your devoutly pro-life family quit spreading gossip about this girl, and that the few family members she trusted to tell should be forgiven for not respecting her privacy.

[Skooz]

Thanks for the link. I just emailed it to my mom. Maybe she can have her read it.

[spectre]

Thank you...God has worked for the greater good in your life.

You're the best of the best, dear lady. You bring Honor to the word "Mom"..

sw

[Skooz]

See post 47.

[spectre]

Oh wonderful, Skooz. Now, getting her to read it is the trick. Prayers your way.

sw

[HungarianGypsy]

This is so sad. My best friend was pressured by her boyfriend to have an abortion. She immediately regretted it. I remember when I had my first baby she came to visit and said, "My baby would have been almost due." By that time she was no longer with her boyfriend.
While your niece may be in love with her boyfriend and she cannot imagine the thought of being without him, she must realize he can just as easily uo and leave after she's had the abortion. It strains the relationship worse than almost anything.

[Blood of Tyrants]

You are worried about PRIVACY when she is about to allow someone to talk he in to murdering her baby?

Do you also claim that by stopping a rape that I am violating the rapists right to privacy?

[AnAmericanMother]

Mamzelle, you hit square on what I was going at obliquely.

Skooz, the boys' parents are lying now because they KNOW that the birth of the baby will tie their son AND them to your niece irrevocably. He IS the father, and he has certain responsibilities under law . . . even if he is a minor. Like support.

I was giving the boys' parents a little credit by thinking that what they wanted to avoid was the scandal. But on further reflection, I think they are lying to Skooz's niece in order to avoid the FINANCIAL responsibility as well.

These nasty people's PRIMARY goal is to get rid of your niece. Getting rid of the unwanted baby to them is just a bonus. By conning your niece into killing her child, they are accomplishing their ultimate goal of getting rid of her . . . with her own, naive cooperation! (You think that will make her mad, Skooz? Could that get through her infatuation? She doesn't have to be mad at her boyfriend, just his folks.)

You know, they sound like horrible people, and maybe the boyfriend would be better off if they DO cast him off . . .

[TroutStalker]

Make the parents of the father pay for their intrusion into your neice's personal affairs by exposing them for what they are. Picket their home and business. Post their personal info on the internet. Let them know that they WILL pay a social cost for their murderous intrusion into her life.

[agrace]

Call your mom and tell her to do it - an ultimatum of their own to save the life of this child is worth it! To save BOTH children, because let's face it, your niece is hardly an adult and she WILL be traumatized. I had an abortion when I was 19 and I have regretted it EVERY DAY SINCE. I wish I could get in touch with your niece, I'd love to discuss this with her via email but since that's no doubt impossible especially considering this is to take place today, I can surely offer to pray.

[tacticalogic]

His folks told him that unless she has an abortion he can never see her again.

If she caves in to this then even if they stay together, they will be faced with being manipulated by his parents as long as they are alive.

[victim soul]

My best friend years ago went through this too -- but his parents didn't say abort -- just don't see her again.He never did.

Her Dad was really upset and embarrassed. She went to live with another family and thought they would probably never be reconciled.

Well, I knew her Dad better than she at that point, and guess who called me filled with excitement from the hospital the night she delivered?

Her Dad!!! Her parents took their daughter and new grandson home -- she finished school -- and married a nice fellow who adopted her boy.

The grandson was the APPLE of his grandfather's eye --every day of his life!!

Call the Sisters of Life in New York 718-863-2264. They are willing to pray (for) and with any pregnant woman and give her any kind of support she needs.

Call Feminists for Life who try to help college girls avoid the horror and sorrow of abortion and are comitted to help pregnant students remain on campus even after birth.

I offer up my prayers today for her and Please keep us informed.

[Artist]

My heart goes out to you and your family.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

[ewing]

Not helping, CP.

A bad situation could be made worse by this girl thinking that people are gossiping about her.

[Wiser now]

If this reply isn't coming too late, tell her an abortion can cause a condition called "incompetent cervix". I can cause her to go into early labor and miscarry a baby she wants at 20 weeks gestation or so. My daughter had an abortion over our objections at age 22. After that she had three late miscarriages. Two of them resulted in the loss of wanted babies, a boy and a girl. We later discovered she had had another abortion at age 18. Her doctors told us the incidence of late term miscarriages after aortions is high, and a closely guarded secret among the "pro-choice" crowd.

[mass55th]

She might as well kiss the relationship goodbye right now because it will never be the same again. You can never go back to the way it was. And if his parents are blackmailing her to abort this baby in return for a continued relationship with their son, and she buys it, she's going to kick herself in the ass down the road. She's getting a royal screwing and that's not meant fecetiously.

Like alot of young girls (and unfortunately some women), she thinks that she has to settle for the status quo. It's as if they think they don't deserve any better in life. If she doesn't get her priorities straight, a self image, and a set of values, she'll continue in this pattern of bad decision making the rest of her life.

He's only 17, and she's 18. Let me make a prediction: She gets the abortion and he dumps her anyway. Besides, how much acceptance by his family can she expect when this is over. My guess is none.

[Artist]

"I know I have been rambling, but please, please make your neice understand that abortion is something you carry with you forever. It scars your heart and soul. Adoption on the other hand...........you give your child life and hope and a FUTURE!!"

As an adoptive mom, I can't thank you enough for your post. Words from women like you, that have walked the walk, can save babies.

God bless you, Tommi.

[Chancellor Palpatine]

I'm talking about gossip "within the family" and not here. Betcha everybody out to your 5th cousin knows about it now, since whoever she mistakenly trusted for comfort and advice chose to spread it around.

How long did it take you to tell your wife? Your children? People you work with?

Yep - good ol' juicy family gossip, where everybody can be mean and put on the mantle of righteousness while doing it...

[TheFilter]

I think you oughta play hardball too. Tell her, "look, if you carry this baby to term, we'll adopt him. You'll always have a place in this home. But if you don't, if you murder him just to please your boyfriend's parents, you are going to have to find another place to live."

Tough love. But you know what? Someone's gotta speak up for the kid in all this.

The teenaged girl is a kid too. Sure, she's 18, but she's also under unbelievable emotional pressure from her misguided "love" for this snake-y boy who simply wants out of the trouble he helped cause. It takes two.

His parents are scum. They ought to be buying him a diamond ring for his girlfriend instead of a new car. Or at least that's the way I think it should be done.