My Niece is Scheduled to Have an Abortion Today

Skooz | 1.30.2003 | Skooz

[Skooz]

Please forgive the vanity.

I received this email from my mom yesterday morning. Amanda is my niece. She is 18 years old and she lives with my parents. She just started college on a full paid academic scholarship:

Hi, Just wanted to fill you in on the latest around here. Miss Amanda is dropping school because she's...............................are you ready................ take a breath....................pregnant. She's going with her boyfriend tomorrow for counseling before having an abortion. His folks told him that unless she has an abortion he can never see her again. She wants him more than anything, so that's probably what she'll do. It's been a bad few days around here. She was going to wait until the end of the quarter (March) to tell us, but she got real sick a few weeks ago and came home. I think part of it was the flu, and part "baby" sickness. She still doesn't feel well. One of the worse things is he won't be 17 until April. So anyway.......I thought I'd give you a little shock to have with your coffee. I'll keep you updated.

Of course, we are stunned. I am really seeking some advice about what I can do or say. My entire family (except for Amanda) is staunchly pro-life. Her mother is beside herself.

Oh, and how about the "His folks told him that unless she has an abortion he can never see her again" thing? How about it pro-choicers? She is being coerced into having an abortion she doesn't really want. She has said (in other correspondence) that she wants to keep the baby. Her "choice" is being made by the father's parents, who want to be spared the embarassment.

She went to see a "counselor" at an abortion clinic yesterday, and they scheduled the "procedure" for today. Of course, the "counselor" at the abortuary is just a salesperson whose job it is to sell abortions.

Anyway, I have run out of options. I have prayed and will continue to do so. I have offered to adopt the baby and have referred her to a wonderful woman who has dedicated her life to finding good homes for children who would otherwise have been aborted, but my niece is not interested. She is ready to have her baby killed to make her boyfriend's parents happy.

I really don't know what else to say. God help us.

[Skooz]

Excellent point. I worked in the real world for 7 years between high school and college. I pumped gas, changed tires, worked as a roofer, etc etc. Best thing that ever happened to me. College was a joy after working for a living.

[wimpycat]

Boyfriends come and go; a baby lasts forever, whether she has an abortion or not. Is there a crisis pregnancy center around? It sounds to me like some positive peer pressure might help--someone near her own age who gives her the right advice might have better luck than all the adults, who "can't understand" what she's going through. (They all think they are so unique.)

[Thinkin' Gal]

Someone needs to tell this girl that she can't buy love and acceptance (by either the boy or his parents) by comitting murder. It's a lie. Are those the kind of people she wants to accept her? People who want her to kill a baby? What smarmy people! Even if they did accept her, and the two 'lovebirds' lived happily ever after, they will be haunted by the abortion. She'll be haunted anyway. An indiscretion can not be fixed by a murder, despite what the 'counselors' (pushy sales reps) at the clinic told her.

It seems to me that the worst part for any kid is now out of the way... everybody knows about it! If she has an abortion, then they'll all know about that as well.

Hopefully the parents can support her emotionally, which would include being able to say goodbye to a grandbaby, if the girl chooses adoption. Would she rather look back on her life 5, 10, 20 years from now, knowing she committed a murderer, or rather, that she did the right thing, hard as it was at the time?

[AnAmericanMother]

The boys' parents are completely blinded by their selfish desire to clean all this "problem" up without any mess. They are lying now to your niece, and they will lie in the future. Whatever it takes to save their precious reputation.

Once she has the abortion, they will ship the boy off to boarding school somewhere or otherwise break up the relationship. She is now a constant reminder of their precious son's "indiscretion" and they will get rid of her whatever it takes.

And, anyway, how does she think their relationship is going to continue with the shadow of a baby, murdered for his parents' convenience, between them?

She CANNOT keep his parents happy. Except by disappearing from their lives. If they are willing to make their own grandchild "disappear" they will be only too willing to make HER "disappear."

She needs to realize this because she is setting herself up for an even greater tragedy. She will still have killed her baby, and she will not have her boy that she supposedly killed the child for. And then she won't have to "imagine" life without him.

[Skooz]

what kind of sick monster would demand that their own flesh and blood grandchild be killed off?

I briefly considered posting some of my emails I wrote to my mom concerning the boy's parents. But, they would be offensive and would get pulled. I might even get banned.

Suffice it to say, I let her know that any social interaction whatsoever with them would be undesirable.

[PBRSTREETGANG]

Be prepared for some tough times ahead. Your niece is mistaken if she thinks aborting the baby will allow her to keep her boyfriend. His parents clearly want her out of his life. They are using the only leverage they have to free him (and them) of the financial responsibility of caring for the child. Shortly after she has the abortion she will never see him again.

After she kills the baby she says she wants, loses her boyfriend and realizes his (and his parents') true motives she is in for a world of hurt.

It is doubtful that you can convince her of the above since she is "in love", but try. More than likely you're going to have to be there to pick up the pieces when she fully realizes just what she's done. You have my prayers.

[VirginiaMom]

This is my first time posting here, but this is a subject I feel strongly about. Feel free to share this with your niece.

At 14 years old, I got pregnant and was forced by my mother to abort. The most painful thing I've had to live with. Still a stupid kid, at 17 years old, I became pregnant again. I gave birth to a beautiful boy and placed him for adoption.

Now married, with 3 children, I can tell you that abortion is NEVER the answer.

3 years ago God truly blessed me. The child I placed for adoption found me and contacted me. His reason for the contact???? He wanted to thank me for NOT KILLING HIM!!! We have a wonderful relationship now and he is very close to his brothers and his sister.

I truly believe God brought him back into my life because I did the right thing by giving birth to him and placing him with two parents that could raise him properly.

I know I have been rambling, but please, please make your neice understand that abortion is something you carry with you forever. It scars your heart and soul. Adoption on the other hand...........you give your child life and hope and a FUTURE!!

Tommi

[A2J]

What is not being said is that the parents of the young man will not allow him to see your neice regardless whether she gets an abortion or not. They are playing the pressure game on your neice with no intention of allowing their son to get involved with her again.

Maybe you could offer to the parents of both a compromise where they could meet with a crisis pregnancy center counselor (pro-life, of course) where they will see that their plan to kill their grandchild will turn their hearts toward the child.

[Blood of Tyrants]

Call her and beg her to go with you to a doctor's office for an ultrasound. Eighteen is far too young to make that decision. Offer to take the baby, do whatever it takes. I will pray.

[Blood of Tyrants]

P.S. Ask her, what kind of people would encourage you to kill their grandchild?

[mombonn]

I'm going to prayer right now for Amanda and the rest of your family. I'll read replies later.

[A2J]

RE: #67

May God bless you.

[AppyPappy]

Tell her that people will give her lots of money for the baby. Have the boyfriends family sign off all rights before the "abortion". I bet they change their mind then.

[Mamzelle]

re: Your niece is mistaken if she thinks aborting the baby will allow her to keep her boyfriend. His parents clearly want her out of his life. They are using the only leverage they have to free him (and them) of the financial responsibility of caring for the child.)))

The only leverage skooz has with her neice is this fact. This is what skooz must use to convice her neice.

[Thinkin' Gal]

And another thing. She just learned the hard way, the value of being chaste. She can start today, not by killing a baby, but by repenting and putting away that sinful lifestyle, and relying on the Lord for her strength. If she chooses the right path, and those idiots on the boy's side don't get on board, she'll be able to cope with that.

And if she keeps the baby, and puts the sin out of her life, I'd bet that she will find a mature young man who would love her and the baby. That's a ways down the road, but if she behaves like a responsible young woman, she will attract a responsible young man of good character. Act like a 'ho, and she'll attract boyfriends who'll prefer murder to facing responsibilities.

[Skooz]

That is a very good point, but I don't know how it would work.

I was in love at 18, and the girl began cheating on me. My friends told me so, they had all the evidence in the world and facts galore. But, I refused to believe a word of it. Until that day I actually SAW her with another guy.

Nothing is more blind or deluded or unreasonable than a teenager in love.

[ewing]

She is 18 and an adult, tell her the responsible thing to do is to put that baby up for adoption.

Boys will always find a way to see a girl that they love, and I don't think that his parents can stop him..

[manna]

Prayer sent ...

[spectre]

"Everytime a woman has an abortion is just crushes her self esteem, smaller and smaller and smaller".

Have your neice go to the website www.standupgirl.com and READ what these girls and women say about having an abortion. It is about your only recourse right now. To let her read the experiences and the consequences, and pray she can make the right choice, for herself and by herself.

My heart aches for her...sw

[Mamzelle]

Exactly. What I alluded to is rhetorical hardball, and will take some real risks.

Point out to her that she'll lose him if she HAS the baby, absolutely. But a baby would keep him legally bound.

I didn't say it'd be pretty, but you posted this thread for ideas.