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Why Men Are So Damn Cool!!!!
unk
| unk
| no one has confessed
Posted on 01/18/2003 5:47:15 PM PST by Boot Hill
Why Men are so Damn Cool:
- Your rear end is never a factor in a job interview.
- Your orgasms are real. Always.
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
- Same work .. more pay.
- Wrinkles-add character.
- You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
- Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
- If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
- People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- One mood, ALL the damn time.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
- A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
- You can open all your own jars.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
- If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
- No maxi-pads.
- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
- You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
- Your belly usually hides your big hips.
- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
- You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
- The world is your urinal.
TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: nosexforyou
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To: ricpic
Just remember what we learned in the first week of jet engine mechanic school - "leftie loosie, righty tighty." And yes, it was on the quiz.
41
posted on
01/18/2003 7:01:51 PM PST
by
Tennessee_Bob
(Worship the comic http://www sluggy.com)
Comment #42 Removed by Moderator
To: null and void; Boot Hill; RedBloodedAmerican
...LOL, there's always one!...
...Are you a male or female? Just curious... I am a 38 year old male in a very foul mood.
...I'd like to buy a sense of humor, Pat...
Yeah, I'd buy one if I could afford it - but I've recently been royally
screwed by your corrupt, unconstitutional (alleged) government.
Go ahead, and continue to support this tyrannical beast - and eventually
ALL the remaining American small-business entrepreneurs will be destroyed.
We - who support the entire g&%%^&n economy.
Keep your heads in the sand - go ahead.
See what happens then.
Y'all freedom-loving Americans better WAKE-UP - DAMN-SOON-RIGHT-NOW.
Of course, if you are a Blue Pill Person , then this post - and all posts - are irrelevant to you.
43
posted on
01/18/2003 7:09:00 PM PST
by
XLurk
Comment #44 Removed by Moderator
To: XLurk
Nahhh. I take Paxil, it's pink...
To: SeeRushToldU_So
Great thread....thanks for the ping........ !
To: Tennessee_Bob
Thanks I'll try to remember that rule. I'm sure that I will be using it in the future.
The Air Force wouldn't let me go to aircraft maintainence school since I flunked the mechanics part of the entrance exam. Darn it all anyway.
To: XLurk
Easy on the mood swings, guy. :)
48
posted on
01/18/2003 7:37:06 PM PST
by
MonroeDNA
(What's the frequency, Kenneth?)
To: cajungirl
I think that is just plain crazy.
To: XLurk
50
posted on
01/18/2003 7:37:56 PM PST
by
Roscoe
To: Boot Hill
ROFLMAO
Bump
51
posted on
01/18/2003 7:43:09 PM PST
by
Fiddlstix
(Tag Line Service Center: FREE Tag Line with Every Monthly Donation to FR. Get Yours. Inquire Within)
To: Boot Hill
38. Reproduction is an utter pleasure(no nine months difficulty; no childbirth).
However scratch #19. I like to take everything.
Being a man is WONDERFUL!!!!!
To: Boot Hill
39. If you're good looking--fine. If you're not--who cares?
To: Angel
Angel, I agree. I've worked with alot of men, engineers mainly, and I can tell you they are the greatest bunch of people to work with. Women, on the other hand, well that's another story. I love men.
To: XLurk
PLEASE STOP POSTING THIS BRAINLESS B*&$~&^&T. Perhaps you should take your own advice.
55
posted on
01/18/2003 7:56:18 PM PST
by
judgeandjury
(The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws.)
To: XLurk
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
56
posted on
01/18/2003 7:57:19 PM PST
by
Gun142
To: Boot Hill
Bump
57
posted on
01/18/2003 7:59:37 PM PST
by
CyberCowboy777
(Extremism in the Pursuit of Liberty is no Vice! And being a man is cool!)
To: XLurk
XLurk says: "
I've recently been royally screwed by your corrupt, unconstitutional (alleged) government."
Real sorry to hear that, partner. Your post makes it sound like you're teetering on the edge of doing something real dumb or self-destructive. Before you can do anything about your problem, you've got to pull yourself back away from that brink. Consider the following
There are three signs of impending death that most doctors are ignorant of.
One sign is when you've lost your ability to learn.
Another sign is when you've lost your sense of adventure.
And the final sign is when you've lost your sense of humor.
Think about it. It don't make no sense to go out with your guns blazing at...well...er...nothing. Revenge doesn't come out of the barrel of a gun, it comes out of your brain. A calm cool rational and disciplined (but maniacal) brain.
But the first step is to lighten up and laugh a little, we can save the tar and feathering of the SOB's 'til later.
Good luck,
Boot Hill
To: AntiGuv
Heh! I'm taking mine to the grave! :) Ditto unless I somehow end us as a rock star.
59
posted on
01/18/2003 8:07:45 PM PST
by
weikel
To: Revolting cat!
Can get laid whenver they want to! Yeah not too many guys have that capability :(.
60
posted on
01/18/2003 8:10:02 PM PST
by
weikel
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