Satire: Most Popular U.S. Baby Names [for Black, White and Asian students in U.S.]

The Onion ^ | December 25, 2002 issue | The Onion Staff

[CounterCounterCulture]

Hey! I know a good first name when I see it. I'm going with Nuke-Nuke, Boutros-Bourtos, Sirhan-Sirhan, BeBe, CeCe, DeeDee, GiGi, Bling-Bling, yada yada....

;-)

[muggs]

I agree with you that those names are nicknames. All my nieces and nephews call me Aunt Muggs. Muggs, of course, isn't the name on my birth certificate, thankfully.

[archy]

after 180 white pioneers were slaughtered in the Alamo, a whole generation of white boys in the South and West were called after those heroes.

You ought to take a real close look at those names of the Alamo defenders, which begins alphabetically with that of Juan Abamillo. Quite a few were Texans of Mexican origin, and fought and died just as bravely as those from elsewhere. And you'll find their names well remembered by those who admire such courage, in Texas and elsewhere as well.

[null and void]

The names were either African derivatives(La prefix or Da prefix),

No LaDeDa's?...

[Salvation]

Doesn't have my grandchildren's names:\
Jared
Kyle
Hanna
Logan

Maybe these will surface next year? LOL!

[Salvation]

**And, many Black students' names are probably names you've probably never heard of.**

Like?

Prell
Newport
Sinutab
Dacron


LOL!

[Servant of the Nine]

In Texas, a famous name is Ima Hogg. Her brother is Yura Hogg.

The late Miss Ima Hogg had no brother.
No one ever made fun of Miss Ima, because she was a great lady and philanthropist, but her father, former Governor Jim Hogg, should have been horse whipped.

So9

[redheadtoo]

According to this list I am now Asian.

[archy]

Now, who in their right mind would name a baby Opie Kowalski?

That would be Mr. and Mrs. Kowalski, presumably. If a girl, *Opal* might not be too much of a stretch....

-archy-/-

[CounterCounterCulture]

Boutros-Bourtos ==>> Boutros-Boutros

[FreedomCalls]

Yeah, I have seen Latrina myself...

I went over to 411.com to see if I could find someone with "Latrina" as a first name. I got a hit! I decided on "Jackson" as a common last name, and after I picked Texas as a state -- there she is, in Fort Worth. Look her up if you don't believe it. Latrina Jackson, of Fort Worth, Texas.

[dogbyte12]

There are 4 Latrina Brown's in Texas too according to 411.com

[archy]

"Cameron" doesn't mean anything in Spanish except that "camero" means a large bed...

Well, there is of course the village of Camerone, near Puebla and Vera Cruz. But it may be more common as a name for French citizens, or those veterans anciens with a connection to France, than to Mexicans.

[FreedomCalls]

I knew a black kid named Nosmo King.

411.com returns a "Nosmo King" living in Sanibel, Florida!

[dogbyte12]

There actually was a Nosmo King in the 30's. He is credited as a writer and composer. No idea if it was a pseudonym or not.

[dogbyte12]

Some of these names are so funny, everybody insists they are urban legends. We have now come up with 5 Latrinas in Texas, and a Nosmo King.

Btw.. the vaudevillian who was called Nosmo King, in England in the 30's and 40's actually was a guy using a stage name. Rats.

[aruanan]

Decades ago I knew of an Indian boy (dot, not feather) named Dacron. I asked if his sister was named Polly Esther.

[Rebelbase]

My ex-wife taugh school and had two girls in her class named Impala and Chevelle.....had something to do with the point of conception.

[dogbyte12]

Latrina King in Texas too. What is it with Texas and Latrinas anyways? The count is 6 now. 1 each Latrina King and Jackson, and 4 Latrina Browns.

[aruanan]

"Cameron" ought to be deleted with increasing knowledge of Spanish...it is the Spanish word for "shrimp."

The Spanish word for shrimp is camarón.