Ads seek to turn buying a car into moral question (Enviral Blasphemy)

RALEIGH, N.C. — An evangelical group hopes to turn the car-buying decision into a question of conscience with a campaign that asks: What would Jesus drive?

The Wynnewood, Pa.- based Evangelical Environmental Network will begin running television ads this month in North Carolina, Iowa, Indiana and Missouri to urge consumers to park their sport-utility vehicles and buy fuel-efficient cars because Jesus wants the Earth's natural systems preserved.

It's a small voice considering SUVs, minivans and pickup trucks — which together make up the light- duty truck category — last year made up half the new vehicles sold in the United States. The average fuel economy for all 2003 model cars and passenger trucks dropped to 20.8 miles per gallon, reflecting what automakers and many buyers say is a higher priority on comfort and family needs than conserving gasoline.

Though automakers make higher profits from light trucks than on cars (by some estimates more than $10,000 per unit) they say they'd be happy to sell more fuel-efficient vehicles.

However, Eron Shosteck , a spokesman for the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers said: "People want power. Consumers want power."

The Interfaith Climate and Energy Campaign plans to send mailings this month to 100,000 congregations discussing the relationship between fuel economy and reli gious teachings about stewardship and justice.

The campaign is a joint effort of the National Council of Churches and the Coalition on the Environment and Jewish Life.

The groups plan to frame their arguments in moral — as well as economic — terms by promoting hybrid and fuel-cell powered vehicles, as well as other existing fuel- saving technologies. Hybrids run on both gas and electricity, and so use less fuel than traditional engines. Fuel cells, a technology developed to power space vehicles, makes energy from a chemical reaction with no harmful emissions.

The Big Three — Ford Motor Co., General Motors Corp. and DaimlerChrysler AG — plan to mass market SUVs and pickups with hybrid technology starting next year. Toyota and Honda began selling a limited number of hybrid cars this year.

Other technologies in mass production could cut the weight, improve the acceleration, reduce exhaust emissions and use half the gasoline of a comparative Ford Explorer XLT, according to the Union of Concerned Scientists, which supports tougher federal fuel economy standards.

Guessing which rig would meet Jesus' approval should be a serious consideration for conservative Christians, who are called to preserve the created world, Ball said. Global warming and smoggy air worsened by vehicle exhausts threaten the health of humans, plants and animals worldwide, he said in an interview as he rode a commuter train from his Washington, D.C., office to his Maryland home 55 miles away.

"We think he is Lord of our transportation choices as well as all our other choices," said Ball, an American Baptist minister. "When you need a new car, you should buy the most fuel- efficient one that truly meets your needs."

"When you need a new car, you should buy the most fuel- efficient one that truly meets your needs."

The last line is really just common sense, but it doesn't imply you will not buy a SUV. What does "meet your needs" imply:

If you have a decent sized family, or have to haul your kids and their friends on a regular basis, then a mini-van or SUV "meets your needs".
If you routinely have to haul items, then a mini-van, full sized van, SUV, or pickup truck "meets your needs".
If safety for you and your family is a big concern, then a larger car (which tend to do better in crashes) "meets your needs".
If cost is your main consideration, you have to take into account that larger engines tend to last longer than smaller ones, because they aren't pushed so hard. A car that lasts you 8 years will cost you less than a car that lasts you 5 because you aren't making payments for 3 additional years.

In order to keep "un-Christian" discussions to a minimum, the following should be posted on the passenger side dashboard. Heck, this might even have made the Reformation unnecessary.

The rules listed below apply to the calling of Shotgun (the passenger seat) in an automobile. These rules are definitive and binding.

Section I - The Basic Rules

In order to call Shotgun, the caller must pronounce the word "Shotgun" in a clear voice. This call must be heard and acknowledged by the driver. The other occupants of the vehicle need not hear the call as long as the driver verifies the call.

Shotgun may only be called if all occupants of the vehicle are outside and on the way to said vehicle.

Early calls are strictly prohibited. Shotgun may only be called while walking toward the vehicle and only applies to the drive immediantly forthcoming. Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle or still technically on the way to the first location. For example, one can not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey.

The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The driver has the right to suspend or remove all shotgun priviledges from one or more persons.

Section II Special Cases

These special exceptions to the rules above should be considered in the order presented; the case listed first will take precendence over any of the cases beneath it, when applicable.

In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun.

If the instance that the person who actually owns the vehicle is not driving, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.

In the instance the the driver's spouse, lover, partner, or hired prostitute for the evening is going to accompany the group, he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.

In the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill during the course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she will toss their cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun to make appropriate use of the window.

In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given location and this person is not the driver, then as the designated navigator for the group they automatically get Shotgun, unless they decline.

In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall to fit comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and award Shotgun to the genetic misfit. Alternatively, the driver and other passengers may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a three hour trip with him crammed in the back.

Section III *The Survival of the Fitess Rules *

If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Survival of the Fitess Rules on the process of calling Shotgun. In this case all rules, excepting I-4, are suspended and the passenger seat is occupied by whoever can take it by force.

The driver must announce the institution of the Survival of the Fitess Rules with reasonable warning to all passengers. This clause reduces the amount of blood lost by passengers and the damage done to the vehicle.

Please follow the above rules to the best of your ability. If there are any arguments or execptions not covered in these rules, please refer to rule I-4.

The problem with asking "What would Jesus Do" is that we simply don't know. The culture that He lived in was so very different from our own. What would He do if living in our own time and culture? We can only speculate. And that's the problem: who is to say whether your speculation or my speculation is closer to the truth.

A much better question for Christians to ask is: "What would Jesus HAVE ME do?" That is a biblically valid question, and one to which we can turn to the Bible for some real answers.

What kind of car would Jesus have me drive? Well, certainly one that was affordable, becasue the bible does have some things to say about living prudently within one's means. Certainly also a car in good working order, as we certainly are not to recklessly endanger others. If you are transporting kids or others, you also have a responsibility for their safety, so maybe that's a plus on the SUV side. It could also be argued that we should drive to live and not live to drive, so our choice of car should be limited to utilitarian concerns and not an indulgence of our covetousness and vanity. Provided these criteria are met, I'd say that the kind of car that Jesus would have us drive is the car that gets the job done.

Ergo, a Chrysler MiniVan.

Or maybe a Christ-ler MiniVan?

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