A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day....10-17-02

JohnHuang2 and Billie

[daisyscarlett]

A Few of FR's Finest.....
......Every Day

FR is a Treasure Trove of talented, compassionate, patriotic, wonderful people who gather every day to discuss the latest news and issues;  salute
and support our military and our leaders;  tell a few jokes;  learn a new
word;  write poetry;  pray for those in need;  and congratulate those who
are deserving. Thank you, Jim Robinson, for giving us the vehicle in which
we can express ourselves.

Free Republic made its debut in September, 1996, and the forum was added in early 1997.  I
can remember lurking when there were only a few regulars who posted, and now there are over 60,000 who have registered for posting privileges. The forum is read daily by tens of thousands
of concerned citizens and patriots from all around the country and the world.

A Few of FR's Finest November 11, 2001

So many people have written me since my original Veteran's Day Tribute, asking how they, or a loved one, could be included in that tribute. Since I can no longer add the photos to the body of the thread, I've been including them in additional posts as I received enough to make another collage.

Still that doesn't seem to be enough. I think there's never been a better nor more appropriate time to keep the faces of our own Veterans and Active Military in front of FReepers--every day! That's why I wanted to do yet another Daily Thread .....ABOUT FReepers .....and FOR FReepers. But not only about our Military FReepers; for all FReepers! Wouldn't it be nice to get to know a few of the other FReepers as well? That's why, in addition to seeing FR's Finest Military Personnel every day, I thought it might be fun to feature a different FReeper (or FReepers) each day. If you would like to be pictured, or know someone who would, please FReepmail me and we'll turn the spotlight - on YOU - for the day!

And do let me know if you'd like your picture added to the groups of Veterans/Active Military below. I will keep this page updated, and continue to add them to the comment section of the original Veteran's Day thread as well.

TOP:  g'nad, AgThorn's son Justin, SLB, AgThorn's son Brett

MIDDLE:  fish70, razorback-bert, CheneyChick,Leroy S Mort, Mark17

BOTTOM:  Terry's Take, Taxman, DinkyDau

TOP:  ValerieUSA's son Grant, SK1Thurman, kd5cts, RangerVetNam,

dansangel and .45man's son-in-law Tony

BOTTOM:  rangerX, Old China Hand, Trish, Howlin's dad, Mustang

TOP: ohioWfan's son, MamaBear's father-in-law, MamaBear's dad, ladtx

MIDDLE:  The Mayor's niece, M.Kehoe, Beach_Babe's son-in-law

BOTTOM:  deadhead's dad, HiJinx, Severa's hubby, viligantcitizen's granddad.

TOP: Q6-God, Scan59, Mama Bear and JKPhoto's son, ofMagog

MIDDLE:  Big'ol_freeper, JustAmy's great uncle, Prodigal Son

BOTTOM:  JustAmy's husband, JustAmy's brother-in-law, JustAmy's brother.

TOP: dakine's wife, MeeknMing's dad, Auntbee's nephew, MilitiaMan7,
AlasBabylon.
BOTTOM:  Joe Brower, Temple Owl, Temple Owl's wife, dutchess' dad,
Aomagrat

                     

Campaign Odyssey in Baghdad

JohnHuang2

"Whew! We dodged a bullet," a senior aid to president Saddam Hussein confided to me last night, relieved as election returns, which began pouring in at sundown, showed the Iraqi leader had handily won another 7-year mandate.

He meant 'bullet' literally.

"Not that we expected a cliff-hanger," he quickly added. "Iraq is no Florida", he said, smiling ear-to-ear. "We knew he'd trounce that old tired goat." The aid was referring to Boublous al-Dole, nominee of the hapless opposition party. (A plane carrying all 10 members mysteriously disappeared tonight. No foul play is suspected, despite a hundred witnesses who swear seeing heat-seeking missiles flying towards the plane as it cruised over downtown Baghdad. Iraq Aviation Administrator, Fakih Frank Hull Hussein, dismisses the witnesses as Great Satan Conspirators.)

And what a campaign season it's been. "This one's for the history books," crowed a jubilant staffer, firing several shots in the air in celebration. He recounted the story of how, back in February, president Hussein ordered mortar fire and tank attacks on some fledgling all-news TV station in Basra. "I guess you can say it was the opening salvo of Campaign 2002," the aid fondly recalled.

But the assault wasn't just for fun, either. Hussein strongly suspected the outlet, founded by some right-winger named Abdul-Roger al-Ailes, was working for the opposition.

"Our President hated that station with a passion," one senior aid recalled. "He called it Faux News, mockingly. There was this host who would come on weeknights at 8, griping about all the charity money being siphoned off for nukes and presidential palaces. He really hated that guy." That's Bill al-Din O'Reilly, erstwhile host of what was the highest rated show on prime-time. As punishment for spreading infidel propaganda, he got 30 years in a re-education camp. As part of his sentence, al-Din O'Reilly was ordered to read First Lady Sajida!'s, 'It Takes an A-Bomb To Raze a Village', a runaway best-seller. Her book, in fact, has straddled atop the Anthrax Times best-seller list since its publication 15 years ago, easily outselling No. 2, "Between Smoking Dope And History," by Bill Clinton.

"To President Hussein, all cowards and traitors are beneath contempt," intoned a senior aid. "He has zero-tolerance for 'em. Except for Bill Clinton. Now that's a coward and a traitor our president can live with. Our dear leader has nothing but admiration for Clinton."

No qualms that Monica was Jewish?

Shrugging his shoulders, he sighed, "well, nobody's perfect."

As for the campaign, "there were bumps along the road," said one aid, "don't get me wrong. It wasn't all smooth sailing."

For campaign staffers, the biggest scare came on the closing night of the Baath Party National Convention in Baghdad. A major sex scandal had broke, involving Saddam's senior political strategist, Duqaq Dick Musa Morris. Hussein, forced to par his acceptance speech down to 12 hours, saw his approval ratings take a tumble, plunging down to 99.9%.

"Thanks to that moron, I never got my convention 'bounce!!'," yelled an angry Hussein that night.

"But we didn't flinch," said a staffer, "no-one hit the panic button, despite those tense days."

"Our dear leader, scrappy survivor that he is, stayed focused -- like a laser beam. As punishment, Saddam ordered a sex change for Duqaq Morris, his wayward advisor."

I asked him what Morris was doing for a living now.

"Well, after his sex change, he looked so much like Helen Thomas, he now subs for her in the White House press room."

So, where's Helen, then?

"I was told she went to Pakistan, to enroll in the Madrassas. She mumbled something about wanting to understand 'why they hate us so much', 'to feel the hate', or something like that," he said.
"After graduation, then come the big plans."

Big plans?

"Yeah, she plans to marry Yasser Arafat. Rumor has it his marriage is on the rocks."

Scarey.

Oh, speaking of which, there were two other scarey moments.

Tonight, as official election returns rolled him, some exit polls in the south were showing lower-than-expected returns, some a disappointingly low 99.6%. Oh no, not another Florida. cliff-hanger.

Then, magically, the big board numbers roar back up to 100%.

"You'd be amazed at what a few bullets, parked in the right places, can do," remarked a senior official in the Republican Guard.

I poked my head out the window of my Baghdad hotel, and lo and behold, you could feel the jubilation, the festivity. The victory rallies were huge, the air filled with chants of, 'We love Saddam -- and Hitler, too! Down with the Jews! Up with the Waffen-SS!'

Close your eyes, and you swear you're in Berkley.

The difference here, of course, are all the Soviet tanks lovingly aimed at the "festive" crowd. The place was ringed with military -- everywhere.

"No big deal, just crowd control, that's all that is" one senior Iraqi official insisted. "Everyone here is free to speak his or her mind -- so long as Saddam approves."

Curious, I decided to work my way into the crowd, mixing things up a bit.

One reveler caught my attention. "I love Saddam! I love Saddam! Down with Bush! Up with Daschle and the Democrats!', she screamed.

hmmm...a typical Boston voter, I thought.

I asked her why she loves Saddam so much.

"I'm here because Bush is threatening my job, my livelihood!"

I asked what she did for a living.

"I do nuclear weapons research at a Baby Milk Factory," she told me proudly. "I used to do Anthrax, but Saddam promoted me to nukes. That's why I hate Bush -- he's threatening to diss our doomsday weapons! That means I'll be out of a job!"

Oh, I see.

The other scarey moment, you ask?

Earlier, as we were watching election returns at the presidential palace, suddenly vice president Ramadan bursts into the room, "I have a cheerful announcement: Saddam had just received a call from the U.S. president!", he shouted.

Huh?

"Yes! President Jimmy Carter called to congratulate Saddam for his victory!"

Figures.

Anyway, that's

My two cents...

THIS WEEK'S THREADs

10-14-02 Molly Pitcher
10-15-02 Dutchess
10-16-02 Anniegetyourgun, RikaStrom

Opinions by our own 'King of Ping' The guy's good, folks!

Thanks, Mixer!

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[JustAmy]

Does anyone ever get tired of my silly jokes?
If so, I hope they JustIgnore them.

[JustAmy]

Two guys in a car drive right through the red light. "Man, you just ran that red light!" exclaimed the passenger. "Don't worry, my brother does it all the time," said the driver.

They continue driving through town and then proceed to drive through another stop light.

"You just ran another stop light! You're going to get us killed!" screamed the nervous passenger. "Don't worry, my brother does it all the time," repeated the driver.

Moments later, they approached a green light and they came to a halting stop. "Why are you stopping?" asked the anxious passenger. The driver turned and said, "Because my brother might be coming!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TA DA

[lodwick]

"You're pitching tomorrow night."

That is great - thanks.

[Mo1]

That looks YUMMIE !!!


Thanks Loddy

[Flyer]

JustIgnore them

That's JustHilarious!

[lodwick]

Afternoon PhillyGal - it's good to see you here. ;-)

[lodwick]

I trying to figger out how to make Glocktoberfest and what weapons to bring to the party.

[JustAmy]

You know you are addicted to coffee if ...

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You sleep with your eyes open.

You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

You chew on other people's fingernails.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.

You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.

You can jump-start your car without cables.

You don't sweat, you percolate.

You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

People get dizzy just watching you.

Instant coffee takes too long.

You channel surf faster without a remote.

You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

You short out motion detectors.

You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

You help your dog chase its tail.

You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

You ski uphill.

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You answer the door before people knock.

You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

[Flyer]

ACK! I just missed this as I was replying to you on the GlocktoberFest thread. Let us know. . . we will feed you well. Very well.

[MeekOneGOP]

;-) Perfectly linked - thanks for the laugh.

heh heh ! you bet.....

[Flyer]

You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

LAUGH!

[dansangel]

jwfiv: Thank-you for the greeting! A Happy Mid-Afternoon back at ya from the east coast!

loddie: I swear I gain five lbs every time you put food out on the table! You're worse than my Italian relatives!!! But, thank-you, I surely appreciate it.

Amy: you can brighten up my day anytime with some humor. I keep thinking I need to do a drumroll everytime you get to the punchline!

JustGigglin'

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to all!

[lodwick]

I'll try to find others who might join me in this adventure, or offer to pick up sausages for the feast, or whatever.

[MeekOneGOP]

Here are some comments made by sports commentators that I'm sure they would like to take back:

7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact, you can see it all over their faces."

That is just one. Click on it to go see all of 'em. (A couple might be considered "tacky").

[lodwick]

Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious."

I only found two that could be considered NOT tacky - good catch. Thanks. ;-)

[JustAmy]

A true story. (???)

If she had killed herself, she'd be a shoo-in for the Darwin Award (might be a problem in the gene pool).

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield, a blonde, new to boating, was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new 22-ft Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath the boat.

He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TA DA

[MeekOneGOP]

Buying a jet fighter ?......

LOL !! I love it.....

[LadyX]

Sorry - had to go to the Post Office and grocery store and start a batch of chili, now that fall is here!
And no - I will not divulge my recipe, JL, lest the purists get me..:)))

At any rate, guys, we actually depend upon you to glean the best/worst jokes to make us groan . . . one requisite for becoming a Freeper is to be somewhat humor-challenged, politely laughing at any presented, is it not?!

LOL of Literal Laughs..:))

[JustAmy]

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!"

Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse had been returned to the post.

He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TA DA

[LadyX]

Methinks JustAmy JustWantsAttention..:))

Where's JustFrank?!!
I'm JustAboutReady for 'im..:))

Whadja do with our Music Lady, Amy?