Something About 'SpongeBob' Whispers 'Gay' to Many Men

Wall Street Journal ^ | October 8, 2002 | SALLY BEATTY

[gcruse]

He lives in a pineapple under the sea, in a town called Bikini Bottom. His best friend is an exuberant pink starfish named Patrick. His name is SpongeBob SquarePants, the absorbent yellow star of the most highly rated kids show on TV.

[gcruse]

Muscle Beach is just down the block, guys...
and olive oil is on special by the gallon.

[ArneFufkin]

Pop is too fired up.

[maxwell]

I grew up thinking Bert and Ernie were brothers.

Now dude, that is REALLY sick...

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

(in femmy lispy voice) oh, that sounds nice.

LOL.

[maxwell]

And what's up with Porky Pig?? He runs around with no pants on, and nobody says ANYTHING? Riiiiiight.

LMAO!

[maxwell]

BWAHAHAHAAAAA...

I'm sorry dude, for some reason that's funny as hell... I'm still laughing...

[maxwell]

Actually, I was a bit of a wiseass, and was always mocking the fraternity brothers (which the pledges aren't supposed to do.) They would repeatedly say to me "You're dead, maggot!" to the point where they finally decided that that should be my nickname. It has stuck and, 16 years after graduation, I am still called "dead" by everybody I knew in college.

LMAO! Great story. Well, in case y'all ever wondered...

[gcruse]

                  MR. RIGHT
                  Dirt flirt
                  If Mr. Clean seems extra bubbly, it's because he's gay

                  Okay, we'll take the bait: What about Mr. Clean's
                  earring (Mr. Right, 7/19/02)?

                                   

                  Curiousers: Hey, no need to get huffy. I simply wanted to remind
                  everyone that he wears one, and that he also wears a
                  tighty-whitey T-shirt and has humongous muscles and is
                  fastidiously neat and clean. After that, I'll leave you to draw your
                  own conclusions. OH, COME ON, HE'S OBVIOUSLY GAY! Not that
                  there's anything wrong with that. It's just that since he came out,
                  back in 1960, he's never...come out. Which makes a certain kind of
                  sense, given that he's often stored in the closet. But couldn't
                  Proctor & Gamble just come clean? Would floor-scrubbers and
                  counter-swabbers around the world (in France, he's Monsieur
                  Propre) declare him all washed up?

                  P & G has been asked about Mr. Clean's "orientation" over the
                  years, and their standard reply is that he's "an artist's conception
                  of a magical genie." Uh-huh. And the whole sailor-drag thing is
                  just...what? Old Navy was having a sale? I've had a soft spot for
                  Proctor & Gamble ever since they cancelled their ads on Dr. Laura's
                  radio show when she went into one of her homophobic rants. And
                  who knows, maybe Mr. Clean is straight. Besides, gays still have
                  the Pillsbury Dough Boy, right? And the Jolly Green Giant? (Love the
                  outfit, Miss Thang.) And Mr. Peanut? And Tinky Winky? And Ronald
                  McDonald? You don't think Ronald McDonald's gay? Puh-leeze.

 

[ArneFufkin]

That's a weird nickname scenario. If you died of alcohol poisoning at a frat gathering, then rose like a Phoenix ... "Wow, he's dead. That amazing mofo is dead. I'll never forget that dead tadpole. Wait, he's alive and breathing! He's belching in technicolor! He's not dead, so he IS DEAD!" That I understand.

A nickname based on annoying and disruptive behavior? They happen, but they aren't given by folks wanting you around their vicinity.

[dead]

A nickname based on annoying and disruptive behavior? They happen, but they aren't given by folks wanting you around their vicinity.

When somebody is mocked or ridiculed, usually the mockee is the only one annoyed. The surrounding witnesses are generally quite mirthful, if it’s done right.

[ArneFufkin]

Mr. Clean's orientation was to supervise the hand-brushed, floor scrubbing activities of well dressed housewives then disappear like the genie warlock he was.

Mr. Clean was a male genie. Giving lonely housewives the discipline they craved. Then he split.

Gay slummers try to authenticate the images they longed for. Mr. Clean was boytoy to Jeanie Nelson's grandmama.

[Britton J Wingfield]

There are new episodes of REN and Stimpy coming out? Are they done by Johnathan K? Hot damn, I can't wait!

[ArneFufkin]

Drunk Coed Hottie: So, why do they call you Dead?

Dead: Option A - because I'm dead serious about the important things, like savoring my time with a beautiful woman like you.

Dead: Option B - Well, I was such an obnoxious prick as a pledge, my brothers all wanted to kill me or see me dead.

Drunk Coed Hottie: (A) Where's your bedroom, I'm feeling dizzy? (B)Where's the bathroom? I'm feeling dizzy.

Nicknames should be flattering in some stupid male way.

[dead]

I just told the hot drunken hippy chicks that I was a big Jerry Garcia fan.

[Britton J Wingfield]

I don't know if there is a woman hot enough to make me stoop that low.

[ArneFufkin]

I don't mean to disrespect you at all, but some nicknames suck. I knew a guy who was nicknamed "Dopey", he attended a crosstown High School, he finished third in state in the 167 lb wrestling class, an NAIA medalist while at UW Whitewater ... a funny, generous and great guy. I asked him one day after knowing him for years - "do you like people calling you Dopey?" Of course he didn't, and I suggested he make that known among his friends. Well, I did, he confirmed, and everyone respectfuly demurred after giving him ritualistic disrespect. He became "Heids" forthwith. Nobody thought about the insult of "Dopey" ... but Jeff did, I'll guarantee you.

Nobody wants to be named "pukey", "smelly", "leaky", "skid", "lurch" or "bones" either. That's not complimentary imagery.

[Miss Marple]

Arne, are you still on this thread? LOL! SpongeBob rules!

Two other episodes I can think of that are fascinating are the frycook cook-off, reminiscent of Iron Chef, and the "sea creatures are better than land mammals" argument, in which Sandy dared all the rest of them who were making fun of her diving bell to go up on the beach. Quite funny, as when Patrick the starfish, SpongeBob, Squidworth, and Krusty Crab gathered their nerve and ran up on the surface, the cartoon switched to video tape of a yellow sponge on a stick, a souvenir starfish on a stick, etc. Puppet seagulls attacked Patrick and Sandy the Squirrel had to rescue him...and the video showed a lame squirrel puppet in a diving bell. This is actually one of the funniest things I have ever seen on television.

Well, it's approaching 4:30 and I must start dinner. You really should watch this show. Watch three programs and you will be a fan, I guarantee.

[dead]

I knew people who objected to their nicknames as well - "Zero" "Bozo" and "Gordo" (as in spanish for "fat") come to mind.

I always liked mine, though.

[ArneFufkin]

How did a vampy squirrel get hooked up with this invertebrate men's club again? So, a squirrel is foraging for nuts and seeds in the ocean surf, and ...

[dennisw]

I'm serious. There must be tens of thousands of names you could choose to identify yourselves with--noble names, good names, perhaps your own names. But I have noticed that a substantial subset of libertarians adopt names like "DarkLordViciousCrapNoodle" or "GreenGrinningHorkPhlegm." Why?

Hahahhahah  Touché. Could it be the drugs?