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Being friends with Christians and gays
Islam Q & A ^ | 9-5-2002 | Answers by Shaikh M. S. Al-Munajjid

Posted on 09/05/2002 1:53:51 PM PDT by Salman

Question:

I'm a muslim who has quite alot of Christian friends, both male and female. There is 1 friend in particular who I'm really good friends with and recently I discovered that they were gay. I don't want to treat them differently because of this but I would like to know if it is haraam to have a gay friend?.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

The Muslim must strive to find good friends who will help him to do good, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The likeness of a righteous companion and an evil companion is that of one who carries musk and one who works a bellows. With the one who carries musk, either he will give you some or you will buy from him or you will notice a pleasant fragrance from him. With the one who work a bellows, either he will burn your clothes or you will notice a foul odour from him.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5534; Muslim, 2628, from Abu Moosa al-Ash’ari, may Allaah be pleased with him).

It is not permissible for a Muslim to make (close) friends with Christians or other kaafirs. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! Take not the Jews and the Christians as Awliyaa’ (friends, protectors, helpers), they are but Awliyaa’ of each other. And if any amongst you takes them (as Awliyaa’), then surely, he is one of them. Verily, Allaah guides not those people who are the Zaalimoon (polytheists and wrongdoers and unjust)”

[al-Maa’idah 5:51]

“O you who believe! Take not as (your) Bitaanah (advisors, consultants, protectors, helpers, friends) those outside your religion (pagans, Jews, Christians, and hypocrites) since they will not fail to do their best to corrupt you. They desire to harm you severely. Hatred has already appeared from their mouths, but what their breasts conceal is far worse. Indeed We have made plain to you the Ayaat (proofs, evidences, verses) if you understand”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:118]

al-Sa’di (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

This is a warning from Allaah to His slaves not to make (close) friends with the kuffaar and take them as close confidantes or best friends.

Tafseer al-Sa’di, p. 198

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You should not make friends with anyone but a believer and no one should eat your food but one who is pious.”

Narrated by Abu Dawood, 4832; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 4045

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man will follow the religion of his close friend, so let each of you look to who he takes a close friend.”

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2378; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1937

So stop keeping company with Christians and replace them with Muslim friends, and try to make friends with righteous people.

You should note that it is not permissible for a man to keep company with females or with homosexuals, whether they are Muslims or Christians, because of the fitnah (temptation) involved in that, and because it also involves things that are forbidden in sharee’ah, such as being alone with them, shaking hands with them and things that are more serious than that. I ask Allaah to protect us all from fitnah.

Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Miscellaneous; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: friends; islam; kaafirs
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Comment #41 Removed by Moderator

To: rdb3; RnMomof7; the_doc
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You should not make friends with anyone but a believer and no one should eat your food but one who is pious.”

I guess that Syrian Muslim who shared his lunch with me 'while-back as we were waiting for a flight to Paris ("No, please, you must take some... my wife, she always prepares too much for just me") was a detestable hypocrite against Mohammed, then.

He certainly seemed pious, mind you (with the utmost politeness, he broke off our theological conversation at the "appointed time" to go spread his mat on the terminal floor and do his rote-prayer-thingees)... but sharing food with an UnBeliever? Tsk, tsk -- how apostate of him. I certainly hope his "brethren in the faith" did not chop off his head when he got back to Syria.

Thank God for hypocritical Muslims.
(The devout ones will be the death of us all!! grin...)

42 posted on 09/05/2002 4:02:28 PM PDT by OrthodoxPresbyterian
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To: Woahhs
LOok, i laughed and agreed with Pat Buchanan a few years ago when he said homosexuality has gone from " a love that dare not speak its name to a love that won't shut up".

I don't think the Cheneys need to say anything about it.
It's a private, family matter. What's there for the VP to say? She's his daughter. End of story. And she's active in the Republican party and works at Coors! Coors, of all places.



43 posted on 09/05/2002 4:04:20 PM PDT by swarthyguy
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To: OrthodoxPresbyterian
Their day is coming. And coming right quick.
44 posted on 09/05/2002 4:04:52 PM PDT by rdb3
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To: OrthodoxPresbyterian
One of my daughters best friends in grade school was Muslim..she shared her pita bread with my daughter at lunch and often sat and watched while she fasted and her friend ate

Her parents were warm to my daughter. They left my daughter with a warm feeling toward Islam...

They are lost people in need of a Savior. May God open doors to their countries and hearts

45 posted on 09/05/2002 4:08:33 PM PDT by RnMomof7
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To: swarthyguy
My point is he may not be nearly so accepting of her lifestyle as some would hope.
46 posted on 09/05/2002 4:15:19 PM PDT by Woahhs
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To: Woahhs
It is difficult to avoid being around your own child. I think, if it were me, I would welcome my kid into my home even if he were gay, but I would set a few house rules, and I certainly would make my disapproval known--lovingly. I would also be sure my kid (whatever age) respected other people--especially children--by not flaunting his immorality, at least in my presence. What he does away from me is a matter of his own conscience. He will answer to God all by himself on that.

I would also love my kid and visit him frequently if he were in jail. Still, you can bet he would hear about the error or his ways from me. I think you can love someone and think they are wrong at the same time. I don't think it is wise to choose willfully immoral or criminal friends. However, unless a family member cause too much chaos in your life--and that happens--I think you should stick their problems out with them (even the self-inflicted ones).

47 posted on 09/05/2002 4:18:37 PM PDT by RAT Patrol
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To: RAT Patrol
We are agreed on this point.

When my single mother used to vacation down here in Florida with her boyfriend, they stayed in a motel room. I never had any problem with them staying with me, but they would have had to sleep in separate beds. I don't apologize for my moral restrictions, and she didn't criticize them.

That was the price of familial tranquility.

48 posted on 09/05/2002 4:24:58 PM PDT by Woahhs
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To: Woahhs
Well, that's between him and her, isn't it.

That's pretty much conjecture. He hasn't said anything negative. So i assume it's a non-issue for him.
49 posted on 09/05/2002 4:28:43 PM PDT by swarthyguy
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To: swarthyguy
You are, of course, correct about my conjecture. That being said...I see no reason to assume it's a non-issue. Younger Americans have been fairly well neutered when it comes to making judgements about traditional morality. Dick Cheney is not a younger American.
50 posted on 09/05/2002 4:37:02 PM PDT by Woahhs
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To: RnMomof7; rintense
Forgive Him if he repented and tell Him to Go, and sin no more
The same thing he tells us

That's right, because Jesus could forgive sin. We can fogive other's for what they do to us, but only Jesus can forgive those who have sinned. This is one of the things wrong with the, "what would Jesus do," movement. We are not supposed to do what Jesus did, we are supposed to obey him. We cannot do what Jesus did inless we can perform miracles.

Jesus is not our example, He's our master. (Scripturally, only one person is actually presented as an example for Christian behavior. Know who?)

Hank

51 posted on 09/05/2002 5:05:58 PM PDT by Hank Kerchief
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To: Hank Kerchief
I agree I am no fan of the WWJD fad...and for that reason
52 posted on 09/05/2002 5:35:13 PM PDT by RnMomof7
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To: anniegetyourgun
LORD to those who practic

You're series, aren't you? ;)

53 posted on 09/05/2002 5:37:10 PM PDT by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: Salman; RnMomof7
Good read...
Click on pic to read online book,
Why I am Not a Muslim, by Ibn Warraq:


54 posted on 09/05/2002 5:53:23 PM PDT by ppaul
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To: Salman
A Moosa thread !
55 posted on 09/05/2002 7:06:20 PM PDT by PoorMuttly
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To: serinde
"I have heard (but do not if it is really true) that Muslim women must raise the children but are not allowed to discipline their sons at all (and the men see no reason to)."

Some years ago I had a friend who lived in married student housing here in Ft. Collins. At the playground one day, her little toddler was repeatedly having sand thrown in her face by a slightly older Muslim boy. The mother of the boy sat nearby watching and saying nothing. (My friend said she was later told that this was because the woman was not allowed to discipline her own son.) Well, she herself was not just going to stand by and watch her little one crying and hurting! She firmly grabbed the boy's arm as he was about to throw sand again, and gave him a short lecture. He was astounded by this unexpected behavior and backed off. His mother seemed to have nothing to say about this either.

But that evening there was a loud knock on her door, and she was confronted by the boy's father - in a rage and seemingly on the verge of doing physical harm to her. Fortunately, her husband was also home by that time, and hearing the loud words at the door, he came and interposed himself between his wife and the furious Muslim.

That was the end of the incident, as far as I know. But think of how the ending would have been different if my friend and her family had been living overseas in Saudi Arabia at the time!!!

56 posted on 09/05/2002 8:40:39 PM PDT by CardCarryingMember.VastRightWC
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To: Salman
In yesterday's Washington Times "Culture Briefs" section, they had this excerpt from an article in the National Post -

Multicultural rape
"[On Aug. 15], in Sydney, the pack leader of a group of Lebanese Muslim gang-rapists was sentenced to 55 years in jail. After September 11, Americans were advised to ask themselves, 'Why do they hate us?' Now Australians need to ask themselves, 'Why do they rape us?'
"Five days before September 11, the Norwegian newspaper Dagbladet reported that 65 percent of the country's rapes were committed by 'non-Western' immigrants — a category which, in Norway, is almost wholly Muslim. A professor at the University of Oslo explained that one reason for the disproportionate Muslim share of the rape market was that in their native lands 'rape is scarcely punished' because it is generally believed that 'it is women who are responsible for rape.'
"So Muslim immigrants to Norway should be made aware that things are a little different in Scandinavia? Not at all! Rather, the professor insisted, 'Norwegian women must take their share of responsibility for these rapes' because their manner of dress would be regarded by Muslim men as inappropriate. 'Norwegian women must realize that we live in a multicultural society and adapt themselves to it.' Or to modify Queen Victoria's wedding-night advice to her daughter: Lie back and think of Yemen."
—Mark Steyn, writing on "Multiculturalists Are the Real Racists," in the Aug. 22 issue of The National Post

(PS: I looked up the original Queen Victoria quote, and it was "Lie back and think of England".)

57 posted on 09/05/2002 9:01:58 PM PDT by CardCarryingMember.VastRightWC
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To: Urdarbrunnr
That is the reason Christians are kept here on earth, instead of being immediately translated to heaven.

Really?

Actually, this is paraphrasing Jesus in the Gospel of John, when he stated He was glorified by keeping us here.

I rather think it more likely that the creator wishes to keep heaven free from busy-body, stultifying bores for as long as possible.

You're right. Many Christians are guilty as charged. We can be quite crude and ungracious, at times. We have a lot to learn down here.

Have a good evening. :)

58 posted on 09/05/2002 9:07:13 PM PDT by NEWwoman
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To: serinde
Thanks for the insight.
59 posted on 09/05/2002 9:10:20 PM PDT by NEWwoman
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To: Salman
I don't know ... George Bush sees Islam as a peaceful religion. Why those people love us. LOL!
60 posted on 09/05/2002 9:34:48 PM PDT by nmh
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