Posted on 06/10/2002 10:50:40 AM PDT by Redcloak
This is the most difficult post I've ever had to write. I've seen a number of people here asking for prayer from other believers. Scripture tells us that this is what we should do in times of crisis; pray one for another. I never thought that I'd be the one having to write a post like this. I need your prayers for myself and my family.
Thursday was the worst day of my entire life. My wife and I were expecting our son to be born next week via Caesarean section. It was scheduled for Wednesday the 12th. My wife went for a last checkup before the birth that afternoon. At that exam, the doctor could not locate a heartbeat. After a we got him out, we could see that he had gotten twisted and tangled in his umbilical cord. My son Forrest had died before he could be born.
I've seen countless news stories about people losing children. Despite having a daughter (She's 5) of my own, I could never imagine the pain that a parent would feel at such a time. I would tried to empathize by asking myself "what if" questions, but I'd find that my mind wouldn't want to go there. I'd shudder and slam that line of thought shut before I went to far and began to get an idea of what terrible things lie in that place. I suppose that the mind won't let you go there because subconsciously you know it's too awful to look at. Now I'm there in that horrible place. I never imagined one could feel such sorrow and pain.
However, in the midst of this great pain, I have had great joy as well. I know that my son is with the Lord right now. I know that he's experiencing joy and happiness far beyond what any of us can imagine. And I wouldn't begrudge him an instant of it. I know that God has a plan for each of our lives. We all have a role to play in His plan. Forrest completed his role and he's gone home. But still, the grief overwhelms me at times. I'll see something of his, a toy or a piece of clothing, and the tears return. I can't begin to describe how much I'll miss him.
There's something else I've learned in all of this pain. However much this hurts me, it hurts God worse. We cannot truly comprehend how much God loves us. And we do not realize how thoroughly he knows what we think and feel. He knows what's happening deep in our souls better than we do. God knows the true extent to which I am hurting. I know that the mind will play little tricks on itself to prevent some traumas from being felt full force and that these little tricks are dulling my pain. I'm not seeing all that there is to see of it. But God is aware of the pain's true magnitude and His love for us magnifies His pain.
I'm trying to keep focused on where Forrest is now; not how he was on Thursday. I need your prayers asking God to help me to keep in the right frame of mind; to not drift off into thoughts of the past. I'm also asking that you pray for my wife. As bad as my pain is, hers is worse. I also need God's guidance in how to help her. I keep remembering the look of panic she had in her eyes as the doctor searched in vain for a heartbeat and how awful I felt not being able to do anything about it for her. Lastly, I ask that you pray for my daughter. At times she talks about how her brother is with God. At other times, she talks how "the doctors are making Forrest better." I cannot tell is she is truly having trouble dealing with this or if it's simply a 5 year old's imagination at work. My wife and I both need God's help in guiding her through this.
My Father's way may twist and turn, My heart may throb and ache;
But in my soul I'm glad to know He maketh no mistake.
My cherished plans may go astray, My hopes may fade away;
But still I'll trust my Lord to lead, For He doth know the way.
Though night be dark and it may seem That day will never break,
I'll pin my faith, my all, on Him; He maketh no mistake.
There's so much now I cannot see, My eyesight's far too dim;
But come what may, I'll simply trust And leave it all to Him.
For by-and-by the mist will lift, And plain it all He'll make;
Through all the way, though dark to me, He made not one mistake.
You and your family have been added to my prayer list. He is willing, He is able.
May you and your wife be comforted daily as you know that Forrest rests in the arms of the Lord where he will wait to meet you some day.
Until then, may God show you the way for your life. We cannot understand such sorrow, yet we know that the day will come that we will know nothing of pain and sadness. Trust in Him for all things.
You are tucked into my prayers at this moment.
Your young daughter will be fine...I sense you are loving parents and thats what she needs most.God will lead you daily,just ask.He will be there with you.
God Bless
No words can suffice...no man or woman can ultimately provide you with the kind of comfort you need at a time like this...only the Lord, who is the Comforter, can truly help.
However, God does use people. I would suggest you take every opportunity that presents itself to spend time with other Christians...especially those who have suffered similiar tragedy.
I lost 3 children over the years...my firstborn at a day old, a miscarriage, and a daughter at seven months (I have also been blessed with another three beautiful children, and three great stepdaughters).
What I found in those experiences is that it was those who have walked that path themselves who were able to be the most helpful. When my daughter Hannah Marie died, the pros in the hospital did their best, bless their hearts, to bring words of encouragement and comfort...but unfortunately, the words had a hollow ring...but when an old friend, a wonderful Christian woman, who had lost 4 children years earlier to a house fire arrrived, she didn't need to say a single word...she simply put her arms around me, and comfort came. Deep down in my heart, I knew that she knew how I felt.
Lean on the Lord, my friend... be there for your lovely bride...and He will see you through.
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me."
EV
Amen,.......MORE GRACE AND MERCY,.....AND GOD'S COMFORT,......In Jesus' PRECIOUS Name, Amen!!!
I will pray for comfort and peace in your lives.
Thanks for the ping 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub.
I will be praying for you and your loved ones to lean on the Lord, and let his strength carry you all though this difficult time.
God Bless you all. Willie
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