Yeah, Baby!
Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"
So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.
The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,
"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"
The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"
To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.
Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!
The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.
So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.
If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.
Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?
I DON'T CARE!!
Put your defensive lineman into high-level rugby game and (1) he would be hardly able to touch the opposing player not speaking about tackling one,(2) the only way he would be able to stop advance is by bloodying his face and being stomped on by a merry group of 4-5 jolly guys at it still wont be enough to win the possession, (3)he will die from overwork in 15 minutes.
Football has its own niceties, however, only uninformed would consider its a superior wrt rugby.
Yeah, Baby!
So do I, if what I've seen on WUSA telecasts on PAX (which had the WUSA dumped in its lap when CNNSI, which had the rights last year, went under) is any indication. Half the time those gals fall flat on their faces and derriers. Nice legs though. ;-)
foreverfree
foreverfree
Now Mr.Knowitallbest can you translate me word for word "football"?...by definition it implies that the ball is "managed" by/with the foot, hence the name! Now the so called "soccer"game was played in England back to 1863 if my memory serves me right.
OTOH the so called American "football"(which is played by/with the hands(sic!) is a more safer and padded version of the...english rugby(some house rules modified of course). Did you ever bother to watch a game of rugby in the finals?(like France against England?)...strongly recommended to see the real "football" players in action! I will bet my monthly salary(wich is pretty substantial) that the biggest linebacker sans the armor does not have the slightest chance against a rugby "linebacker".
This is not to put down the American "footbal"(I am neither fan of the rugby and/or the "football" game, but I feel compelled to set the records straight. Rugby game is not I repeat not for pansies...I have seen players loosing their ears, on the playing field.
By the way the game of "soccer/footbal" has two half's of 45 minutes each with a 15 minutes break. Now I want to see you running that playing field for 45 consecutive minutes up and down and try to kick that pesky ball right there inside, pass the goallie.That alone takes a lot of athletic stamina to withstand it.
Boring game, yeah, but not as boring as a baseball game!
What makes you believe that all the people from Europe are trash/What makes you belive that you somehow are some superior being, while everyone around you is less.
To me my friend, you are a narrow minded bonehead who can not find his ass with both hands on a bright sunny day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fans of low-scoring hockey, tight-wearing baseball, and butt-touching players react agressively whenever they see soccer on TV. They say soccer is "less manly" even though soccer palyers beat the crap out of each of other with no helmets and no 20-minute time outs for commercials.
But definitely Australian Rules Football is the king of kick-a** games.
Of course given the fact that 1/3 of the games end in a score of 1-0, I guess my prediction was not that difficult to make.
I do not think that it is reasonable to project your observations on US teams (where you can see a whole game without a single tackle) on game as a whole.
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