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Why Do We All Hate Soccer? Any Euro FReepers?
Me

Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift

I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"

So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.

The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,

"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"

The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"

To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.

Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!

The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.

So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.

If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.

Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?

I DON'T CARE!!


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: boring; soccer; sucks
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To: codebreaker
I will be up at 7:30AM to watch Argentina and England this morning.

Already told the boss I'm coming in at 10am. It's nice working for a German-owned company.

421 posted on 06/06/2002 2:57:06 PM PDT by Textide
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To: alex
If American football was played without pads, players would die. Rugby is nice and bloody, but football is on a completely different level.
422 posted on 06/06/2002 3:05:10 PM PDT by Texaggie79
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To: Texaggie79
"If American football was played without pads, players would die. Rugby is nice and bloody, but football is on a completely different level."

There will be survivors who learned how to tackle and few other important skills :).

423 posted on 06/06/2002 3:38:03 PM PDT by alex
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To: HoustonCurmudgeon
My grandmother watched golf. Of course she has been dead for 15 years so I guess she is now clinically brain dead.
424 posted on 06/06/2002 3:42:31 PM PDT by mlmr
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To: alex
A tackle worth watching is head first helmet to chest or helmet.


425 posted on 06/06/2002 4:12:44 PM PDT by Texaggie79
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To: Texaggie79
"A tackle worth watching is head first helmet to chest or helmet"

This tackler would be the first candidate for the cemetry in Rugby Football. Once, again helmets are for dorks who do not know how tackle without being damaged by knees and/or elbows of offensive player :).

426 posted on 06/06/2002 5:11:27 PM PDT by alex
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To: alex
no, helmets are for planting into your opponents chest
427 posted on 06/06/2002 5:20:50 PM PDT by Texaggie79
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To: Textide
Luckily for us in the paper I saw that the USA Today lists the times as Eastern so if the game starts at 6:30 Central I should have no problem getting to work by 9..
428 posted on 06/06/2002 6:59:17 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: codebreaker
Every person on the field is in constant motion. The only exception is the goalie when play is at the opposite end of the field.

Again, if you've never played the game, or don't understand it, you wouldn't know.

429 posted on 06/06/2002 9:34:16 PM PDT by Horatio Bunce
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To: Texaggie79
Come on, here is the chain of degradation: first you skip learning how to tackle properly, then you need helmet in order not to get killed, then you need pads to protect yourself from other people helmets, add to this replacements every 2 minutes so players can also skip on endurance and universal skills.

Real men learn how to tackle first (sure there is some blood spilled in the process, but these are real men) and after that they do not need helmets and hence they do not need pads either, also real men are playing whole 80 minutes doing both defence and offence whithout running in panic off the field whenever there is change in ball possession.

BTW, I understand the value of tradition and free people can choose to play by whatever rules they want to, however, there is simply no ground to claim superiority over Rugby.

430 posted on 06/06/2002 9:44:38 PM PDT by alex
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To: Tomalak
Just think. If the Americans had invented football, the World Cup would not have any non-American teams, the players would all wear more armour and padding than a Roman Centurion, and the foot would make less contact with the ball than the hands.

Yes, and the winner would be "World Champion".

431 posted on 06/06/2002 9:50:59 PM PDT by Colonel_Flagg
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To: Texaggie79
A tackle worth watching is head first helmet to chest or helmet.

The latter of which is illegal, but what the heck ..

432 posted on 06/06/2002 9:54:55 PM PDT by Colonel_Flagg
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To: alex
I've played both, so I think I have room to talk. My brother also played football and rugby in college. Rugby is soccer take away no tackling and no hands rule. Sure, endurance is more of a factor, but football is more strategy and strength. Precision in passing, execution of plays that require perfection from every team member, and MUCH more crowd pleasing action.

American Football is, by far, the greatest spectator sport.

433 posted on 06/06/2002 9:58:06 PM PDT by Texaggie79
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To: Colonel_Flagg
not if you make it look like an accident >:-}
434 posted on 06/06/2002 9:58:52 PM PDT by Texaggie79
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To: GulliverSwift
Soccer. World Cup. The Surrender Monkey French are the defending Champs. 'Nuff said.
435 posted on 06/06/2002 10:01:57 PM PDT by freebilly
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To: codebreaker
You really like Mr. and Mrs. Posh Spice?

More than I like jim rome. ;o)

436 posted on 06/07/2002 5:59:56 AM PDT by al_c
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To: Texaggie79
not if you make it look like an accident >:-}

I love both kinds of football, but I gotta admit .. I like how you think. :)

437 posted on 06/07/2002 6:58:11 AM PDT by Colonel_Flagg
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To: Texaggie79
"I've played both"

Did you play rugby in Europe ? I suppose no, otherwise you would have different opinion.

"American Football is, by far, the greatest spectator sport."

I bet that if instead of "fixing" football rules in early 1900s they would simply go to union rules, American Rugby would be the greatest spectator sport too.

438 posted on 06/07/2002 7:51:11 AM PDT by alex
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To: alex
I can equate Football to chess, rugby I cannot.
439 posted on 06/07/2002 8:27:57 AM PDT by Texaggie79
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To: alex
first you skip learning how to tackle properly, then you need helmet in order not to get killed, then you need pads to protect yourself from other people helmets,

I'm sure a defensive lineman would like to demonstrate to you how to tackle "properly," with or without a helmet and pads. After you wake up, maybe you'll have more appreciation.

Real men learn how to tackle first (sure there is some blood spilled in the process, but these are real men) and after that they do not need helmets and hence they do not need pads either,

What makes rugby not as good of a spectator sport is that the players can't hit as hard and run as hard because they have no pads or helmet. Steve Young (a quarterback, by the way) received five concussions, and that's WITH a helmet. That means he got hit hard. In rugby you can't hit that hard, and the rules of the game themselves dictate when and how you can hit in the much slower game.

As far as being a spectator sport, football is faster, more enjoyable, and more cerebral (I play Madden football on a Nintendo Gamecube, very complicated and difficult, but nothing compared to the real NFL)

also real men are playing whole 80 minutes doing both defence and offence whithout running in panic off the field whenever there is change in ball possession.

I don't care if guys can run around for an hour nonstop. If I wanted to watch running boredum, I'd watch girls track or crosscountry--very boring. NFL is extemely complicated, and having different defensive and offensive players provides for specialization in a game that is very complex.

A wide receiver has to know all the plays, and there are lots and lots of them; he must have the skill to evade his defender through cuts, fakes, and simple outrunning; he must know how to block during a running play or block if his fellow receiver gets the ball; and most of all he must know how to make hard one-handed gymnastic catches from 50 yards away while three defenders are surrounding him.

And that's just a wide receiver. There's also runningbacks, tightends, quarterbacks..... There'a a long list of responsiblities for each and everyone one of these positions, and rugby doesn't have none of it.

You can see why Americans prefer a much faster, more enjoyable game that is filled with innovative plays and hard hits.

This is not to say rugby is a bad game. It's an improvement on soccer, certainly, after one day the guy got sick of just using his feet and picked up the ball and ran with it.

440 posted on 06/07/2002 12:28:10 PM PDT by GulliverSwift
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