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Why Do We All Hate Soccer? Any Euro FReepers?
Me

Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift

I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"

So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.

The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,

"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"

The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"

To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.

Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!

The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.

So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.

If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.

Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?

I DON'T CARE!!


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: boring; soccer; sucks
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To: GulliverSwift
"I'm sure a defensive lineman would like to demonstrate to you how to tackle "properly," with or without a helmet and pads. After you wake up, maybe you'll have more appreciation."

Put your defensive lineman into high-level rugby game and (1) he would be hardly able to touch the opposing player not speaking about tackling one,(2) the only way he would be able to stop advance is by bloodying his face and being stomped on by a merry group of 4-5 jolly guys at it still wont be enough to win the possession, (3)he will die from overwork in 15 minutes.

Football has its own niceties, however, only uninformed would consider its a superior wrt rugby.

441 posted on 06/07/2002 12:46:28 PM PDT by alex
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To: Texaggie79
Is that Dat Nguwyn (sp.?)
442 posted on 06/07/2002 7:55:57 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: Oschisms
I really believe a lot of people think there is a social agenda behind soccer.
443 posted on 06/07/2002 7:56:57 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: GulliverSwift
And the new helmet technology is supposed to prevent concussions.
444 posted on 06/07/2002 7:58:50 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: GulliverSwift
Excellent post. There's nothing left to say. You said it all. I do wish to add that I think part of the reason it is so popular world wide is that it is cheap. All you really need is a ball and an open space. It seems to me that whenever a third world country becomes even slightly affluent they start playing basketball and baseball. Football (American) comes last because it takes a lot of equipment.
445 posted on 06/07/2002 8:08:17 PM PDT by mercy
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To: Pinlighter
I would prefer watching grass grow or paint dry, than watch a soccer game ! I respect the athletes, but their game is boring !!
446 posted on 06/07/2002 8:10:05 PM PDT by RightWingNut
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To: MadIvan

Yeah, Baby!

447 posted on 06/07/2002 8:11:52 PM PDT by diotima
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Comment #448 Removed by Moderator

To: workinggirl
However I do agree that women's soccer is a joke.

So do I, if what I've seen on WUSA telecasts on PAX (which had the WUSA dumped in its lap when CNNSI, which had the rights last year, went under) is any indication. Half the time those gals fall flat on their faces and derriers. Nice legs though. ;-)

foreverfree

449 posted on 06/07/2002 8:24:35 PM PDT by foreverfree
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To: codebreaker
I was looking for that pic...

foreverfree

450 posted on 06/07/2002 8:30:19 PM PDT by foreverfree
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To: codebreaker
Close. It's a little earlier than ole Dat. It's Quintin Coryatt
451 posted on 06/07/2002 9:15:07 PM PDT by Texaggie79
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To: GulliverSwift
"football" as you Euro-femmes call it.

Now Mr.Knowitallbest can you translate me word for word "football"?...by definition it implies that the ball is "managed" by/with the foot, hence the name! Now the so called "soccer"game was played in England back to 1863 if my memory serves me right.
OTOH the so called American "football"(which is played by/with the hands(sic!) is a more safer and padded version of the...english rugby(some house rules modified of course). Did you ever bother to watch a game of rugby in the finals?(like France against England?)...strongly recommended to see the real "football" players in action! I will bet my monthly salary(wich is pretty substantial) that the biggest linebacker sans the armor does not have the slightest chance against a rugby "linebacker".

This is not to put down the American "footbal"(I am neither fan of the rugby and/or the "football" game, but I feel compelled to set the records straight. Rugby game is not I repeat not for pansies...I have seen players loosing their ears, on the playing field.

By the way the game of "soccer/footbal" has two half's of 45 minutes each with a 15 minutes break. Now I want to see you running that playing field for 45 consecutive minutes up and down and try to kick that pesky ball right there inside, pass the goallie.That alone takes a lot of athletic stamina to withstand it.
Boring game, yeah, but not as boring as a baseball game!

452 posted on 06/07/2002 9:33:09 PM PDT by danmar
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To: GulliverSwift
To any of you Eurotrash

What makes you believe that all the people from Europe are trash/What makes you belive that you somehow are some superior being, while everyone around you is less.

To me my friend, you are a narrow minded bonehead who can not find his ass with both hands on a bright sunny day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

453 posted on 06/07/2002 9:47:43 PM PDT by danmar
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To: codebreaker
...what a babe....I love women soccer.................
454 posted on 06/07/2002 9:50:12 PM PDT by danmar
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To: Alberta's Child
sorry, but a full 80 minutes of full contact, skill, and maybe a good punch-up or two with no sissy pads, helmets or time outs. RUGBY RULE'S GO THE CRUSADERS 4 time champions of the Super 12, (NZ AUST & SA Teams comps)and they won EVERY game of the series!
455 posted on 06/07/2002 10:45:03 PM PDT by KiaKaha
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To: screed
So why don't they take off their pads and just bruise everyone with all that . . . muscle?
456 posted on 06/10/2002 3:08:26 PM PDT by honeymagnolia
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To: KiaKaha
sorry, but a full 80 minutes of full contact, skill, and maybe a good punch-up or two with no sissy pads, helmets or time outs. RUGBY RULE'S GO THE CRUSADERS 4 time champions of the Super 12, (NZ AUST & SA Teams comps)and they won EVERY game of the series! 455 posted on 6/7/02 10:45 PM Pacific by KiaKaha

Fans of low-scoring hockey, tight-wearing baseball, and butt-touching players react agressively whenever they see soccer on TV. They say soccer is "less manly" even though soccer palyers beat the crap out of each of other with no helmets and no 20-minute time outs for commercials.

But definitely Australian Rules Football is the king of kick-a** games.



Defintely the Play of the Day in Korea ...

Large size picture

457 posted on 06/21/2002 9:02:36 AM PDT by j_accuse
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To: GulliverSwift
Wow, who would of thought I would've predicted the actual score of the game USA got booted by Germany? In my article, 1-0.

Of course given the fact that 1/3 of the games end in a score of 1-0, I guess my prediction was not that difficult to make.

458 posted on 06/30/2002 8:33:22 PM PDT by GulliverSwift
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To: alex
Rugby in Europe?I didnt even know Europeans played the game at world class level...can you think of the last time any European country beat Australia or New Zealand in rugby?I dont really think any team in the world other than Australia or New Zealand even has a remote chance of winning the world cup.I know England has an ok team...but are there any continental Euro teams that are world class?
459 posted on 09/27/2002 3:06:44 PM PDT by smpc
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To: John H K
"virtually all the tackling is running someone down from behind or an angle from behind."

I do not think that it is reasonable to project your observations on US teams (where you can see a whole game without a single tackle) on game as a whole.

460 posted on 09/27/2002 6:24:58 PM PDT by alex
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