Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"
So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.
The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,
"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"
The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"
To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.
Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!
The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.
So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.
If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.
Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?
I DON'T CARE!!
As sports go its so light weight it’s the worlds lowest common denominator
that should read
ALL YOUR STANLEY CUPS ARE BELONG TO US
who cares about soccer its cup finals time!
Number One: American sports constantly change their games so the scores are high. No longer will you see 2-1 "pitcher's duels" in baseball because the balls are juiced and the new small parks these people play are not fit for high school. We have 24 second shot clocks and "no zone" rules for defense in basketball, yet we call no fouls. We tinker with passing, kicking, and blocking rules in football so the scores are no longer 10-3.
Number Two: Americans like their own sports.
Number Three: Americans hate ties. Look what they have already done to hockey. Do you remember all the handwringing that went on in college football before the advent of overtime?
Number Four: If we had soccer hooligans, you would watch.
Also, as you say, it's too late for us to learn the subtleties of a foreign game. Hockey is almost too much for us. As to your point about the bases loaded, then the guy grounds out, that's part of the drama! If you're rooting for the team in the field, a weak grounder with the bases loaded is ectasy!
Incredible action, and there weren't a whole bunch of teeth left on either side.
Wife works with alot of international guys - to them soccer is passion - recite each play, each game, and talk how the play was set-up by all the team members.
I love most sports, you name it, I love it. Guess it is just the competativeness?
I think soccer is the most demanding of all sports and I will not go into all of the comparisons.
I respect all that who do not appreciate soccer. Hey, that is what makes our country great.
Well, while you sit and wonder what football would be like if they changed touchdowns to 1 point and field goals to a one half point, I think I will just enjoy the game I love. Now go about your way and waste time pondering the wonderment of the NFL's scoring system.
The real football is Rugby Football, real men do not wear pads.
And the only goal during the game is scored when you're in the bathroom.
I played lots of soccer on the playground as a kid, and I still think it's fun to kick around. All the sports are fun to play a bit. But watching it on TV is good medication if you're having trouble sleeping. You'll can wake up and the score will be the same as two hours ago. All that running around, and nothing happens.
Good one. You could add how many of these mechanical marvels fail to finish 500 miles. Maybe people just hope for a crash. What a waste.
The women's soccer team was in town a couple of years ago for a practice game against Norway at Camerohead. They happened to be staying at the same hotel where the reception was after my wedding and where my wife and I were staying the night. On our way to meet some friends and family after the reception we bumped into Brandi in the hallway. I talked to her for a couple of minutes and all the while my wife had no idea who she was. She thought she was an ex-girlfriend (I wish!), so the whole time she stood there silent, with her arms crossed and daggers in her eyes scowling at Brandi. By the time I said goodbye and we got to the elevator my wife was saying mean, sarcastic things to me like, "So did you (blank) her too?" until I informed her who it was. She instantly felt like a jerk but we laugh about it now.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ow! Someone's shoelace hit me! time to roll on the ground for five minutes!!
Real endurance athletes: UFC
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