Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"
So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.
The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,
"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"
The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"
To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.
Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!
The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.
So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.
If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.
Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?
I DON'T CARE!!
Let me expand a little bit upon codebreaker's definition. Hits close to the mark, by the way.
The soccer mom is a white woman, mid to late thirties, with 2.3 children.
She drives a SUV, and yet complains about the price of petroleum products (auto gasoline, heating oil, etc.) being so high. She's opposed to drilling for oil in ANWR, because it might hurt the moose.
She has moved her family to the far suburbs - practically into a rural area, and complains about the odor from the farm down the road and the hunters a mile away shooting at deer. She demands that the farm be rezoned out of existence, and something be done about the deer which eat her landscaping.
She demands "zero tolerance" policies which expel children from school for drawing a picture of a gun, but, not when it's her children doing the drawing.
She is easily frightened, and easily led, and slow to ponder the consequences of her political policies. She lives a soft, cushy existence, and instead of being thankful for America's liberty resulting in that standard of living, she think's it is her absolute birthright.
Wow, prophetic....
Actually I think all professional team sports as they are currently played are extremely tedious.
Pray for GW and the Truth
And Ireland got a draw with Germany in the dying seconds of the game (Robbie Keane scored in extra time!) It was pure magic. I was up in my local pub (The Wicked Swan) watching the match, and the whole place erupted. It was fan-friggin-tastic.
We have the Saudi's next Tuesday, but the German's have the tougher game against Cameroon.
Methinks little ol' Ireland is going to get out of the group.
Woooooooooooooooo-hooooooooooooooo
LOL! (Sarcasm on)
The world press can kiss my @ss. There was another major "upset" just a few days ago. Just ask the French how upset they were;-)
Seriously, those of us supporting the US team knew they could win this game, despite the bad-mouthing from the know-it-alls. Pound sand, "world press."
Soccer players are incredible endurance athletes. Try it some time!So are marathon runners but no one wants to watch the entire race live.
-Eric
NFL Europe is simply a money losing attempt by the NFL to find new markets for its "product". It's the NFL's money though; let them spend it as they chose.It's actually a pretty good developmental league. Most teams from the NFL send players there, and some go on their own to get a second chance in the league. Meanwhile, perhaps some Europeans will learn the game and the NFL will expand its markets.
-Eric
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