Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Why Do We All Hate Soccer? Any Euro FReepers?
Me

Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift

I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"

So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.

The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,

"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"

The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"

To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.

Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!

The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.

So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.

If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.

Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?

I DON'T CARE!!


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: boring; soccer; sucks
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 361-380381-400401-420 ... 441-460 next last
To: Prodigal Son;codebreaker
They drive SUV's, are middile of the road to liberal and care mostly about issues pertaining to their kids and families.

Let me expand a little bit upon codebreaker's definition. Hits close to the mark, by the way.

The soccer mom is a white woman, mid to late thirties, with 2.3 children.

She drives a SUV, and yet complains about the price of petroleum products (auto gasoline, heating oil, etc.) being so high. She's opposed to drilling for oil in ANWR, because it might hurt the moose.

She has moved her family to the far suburbs - practically into a rural area, and complains about the odor from the farm down the road and the hunters a mile away shooting at deer. She demands that the farm be rezoned out of existence, and something be done about the deer which eat her landscaping.

She demands "zero tolerance" policies which expel children from school for drawing a picture of a gun, but, not when it's her children doing the drawing.

She is easily frightened, and easily led, and slow to ponder the consequences of her political policies. She lives a soft, cushy existence, and instead of being thankful for America's liberty resulting in that standard of living, she think's it is her absolute birthright.

381 posted on 06/04/2002 10:26:16 PM PDT by Chemist_Geek
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 293 | View Replies]

To: Happygal
The US won...now if the lads pull this off against Germany, I'll be celebrating all day!!
382 posted on 06/05/2002 4:06:15 AM PDT by constitutiongirl
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 278 | View Replies]

To: MarcusMartialis
I have not watched the US team, but I assume they are fit, balanced and well trained. Portugal is not. So America can win.

Wow, prophetic....

383 posted on 06/05/2002 4:11:23 AM PDT by Nate505
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 251 | View Replies]

To: Vast Buffalo Wing Conspiracy
GOOD MORNING! Sorry I got you all worked up. I thought you'd have a sense of humor ... after all you DO watch soccer.
384 posted on 06/05/2002 4:57:20 AM PDT by iconoclast
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 349 | View Replies]

To: berned
Even soccer, boring as it is, might be more interesting than baseball. The myth that baseball is the ultimate intellectual sports pursuit is ludicrous. For one thing pitching is 98% of the sport as Johnson and Schilling proved in the World Series. You can have an excellent team with great pitchers and mediocre or sub-par fielders, but any team with mediocre or sub-par pitchers will get destroyed even with the greatest fielders in the game.

Actually I think all professional team sports as they are currently played are extremely tedious.

385 posted on 06/05/2002 5:04:52 AM PDT by driftless
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: Nate505
Agreed. I used to be a huge football fan, but I now find it and all other team sports much more tedious than entertaining.
386 posted on 06/05/2002 5:07:34 AM PDT by driftless
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: driftless
This Aussie is happy enough with his Aussie Rules Football, Rugby (both League and Union), and dwarf tossing.
387 posted on 06/05/2002 5:38:19 AM PDT by Dundee
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 386 | View Replies]

To: Alberta's Child
The runner is setting up a false argument as athletic talent takes in more than just raw endurance. Your rebuttal to him was excellent. Hockey players are among the most skilled of all athletes as well as being among the toughest. Heck, it takes skill just to be able to skate well enough to play. Hockey is actually the fairest of all sports as far as not placing far more value on one particular player than another. Some skeptics might say a great goalie compensates for everything, but even Roy (snicker, snicker) or whoever is between the pipes can't stop countless shots from point blank range. Great goalies usually have great defenses in front of them. I say this as person who never played the sport but finds himself watching the Stanley Cup every year. It's the only pro championship I'll watch. Go Wings!
388 posted on 06/05/2002 5:49:13 AM PDT by driftless
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 152 | View Replies]

To: KC Burke
"Baseball is a cerebral game".... HOGWASH. Strong arms and strong bats. Let's see a team of George Wills play a team of Babe Ruths, and we'll see who wins.
389 posted on 06/05/2002 5:52:18 AM PDT by driftless
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 154 | View Replies]

To: Dundee
You might be right...I was mostly commenting on American team sports. Americans are crazy sports fans, but most of what we watch should be bottled and sold as insomnia cures. I should know...I used to be a crazy sports fan myself. There are other things in life.
390 posted on 06/05/2002 6:34:35 AM PDT by driftless
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 387 | View Replies]

To: driftless
Baseball is 10 minutes of excitement squeezed into 2 1/2 hours. Soccer is the same thing with only 2 minutes of excitement. Why do the fans have to pee in the stands?? It's not like they are going to score while you wait at the troughs or anything???

Pray for GW and the Truth

391 posted on 06/05/2002 7:02:01 AM PDT by bray
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 385 | View Replies]

To: constitutiongirl;jla;benson_carter;texasproud;aculeus;incorrigible;colosis
Yup the US beat Portugal.

And Ireland got a draw with Germany in the dying seconds of the game (Robbie Keane scored in extra time!) It was pure magic. I was up in my local pub (The Wicked Swan) watching the match, and the whole place erupted. It was fan-friggin-tastic.

We have the Saudi's next Tuesday, but the German's have the tougher game against Cameroon.

Methinks little ol' Ireland is going to get out of the group.

Woooooooooooooooo-hooooooooooooooo

392 posted on 06/05/2002 7:03:45 AM PDT by Happygal
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 382 | View Replies]

To: codebreaker
Hey ... I'll take her over that jim rome joke any day!!!
393 posted on 06/05/2002 7:04:00 AM PDT by al_c
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 273 | View Replies]

To: bray
"Soccer is the same thing with only 2 minutes of excitement"

LOL! (Sarcasm on)

394 posted on 06/05/2002 7:05:48 AM PDT by Jakarta ex-pat
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 391 | View Replies]

To: Nate505
Yep, the boys did it! Congratulations to the U.S. Men! THE SCORE WAS USA 3- PORTUGAL 2! The world press is calling it the greatest World Cup upset since 1930, when the US beat England. Korea is next.
395 posted on 06/05/2002 7:06:07 AM PDT by Weimdog
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 383 | View Replies]

To: Happygal
I told my husband I was dumping him for Robbie Keane. I used to win bets with him all the time...I would bet on the team with the most attractive players. After winning a dozen times, he asked about my system and he hasn't wagered since I told him.:)
396 posted on 06/05/2002 7:10:29 AM PDT by constitutiongirl
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 392 | View Replies]

To: Happygal
Sigh, if only Roy Keane was there...
397 posted on 06/05/2002 8:11:21 AM PDT by Colosis
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 392 | View Replies]

To: Weimdog
The World press is calling it the greatest World Cup upset since 1930...

The world press can kiss my @ss. There was another major "upset" just a few days ago. Just ask the French how upset they were;-)

Seriously, those of us supporting the US team knew they could win this game, despite the bad-mouthing from the know-it-alls. Pound sand, "world press."

398 posted on 06/05/2002 8:34:57 AM PDT by keri
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 395 | View Replies]

To: aShepard
Soccer players are incredible endurance athletes. Try it some time!
So are marathon runners but no one wants to watch the entire race live.

-Eric

399 posted on 06/05/2002 8:37:55 AM PDT by E Rocc
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Vast Buffalo Wing Conspiracy
NFL Europe is simply a money losing attempt by the NFL to find new markets for its "product". It's the NFL's money though; let them spend it as they chose.
It's actually a pretty good developmental league. Most teams from the NFL send players there, and some go on their own to get a second chance in the league. Meanwhile, perhaps some Europeans will learn the game and the NFL will expand its markets.

-Eric

400 posted on 06/05/2002 8:43:06 AM PDT by E Rocc
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 361 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 361-380381-400401-420 ... 441-460 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson