Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"
So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.
The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,
"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"
The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"
To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.
Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!
The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.
So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.
If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.
Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?
I DON'T CARE!!
NFL Europe is simply a money losing attempt by the NFL to find new markets for its "product". It's the NFL's money though; let them spend it as they chose.
dunno if this is really true, or it just happened once or twice...
Not just impoverished nations playing soccer.
"Impoverished" nations, like Germany? England? France? Denmark? How's the weather in your alternate universe?
That is the real agenda here that the liberals want to make us euqal with Costa Rica when we are clearly not.
Gee, I must have missed the latest Liberal Global Soccer Conspiracy meeting last week. No one mentioned that we were a VAST CONSPIRACY to impoverish the USA to the level of Costa Rica! If only I had known! </sarcasm>
Are you really as stupid as you type? How old are you? Have you ever been outside the USA? Do you know any language but English? Have you ever read a foreign newspaper? Have you ever read an encylopedia or studied geography or history? Do you have ANY real interests besides sports?
I repeat: I am far more right wing than most of you; if it were up to me the UN building would be empty and our borders would be sealed up tight. I am as American as any of you, or more so. This paranoia about soccer being some kind of liberal or UN conspiracy is the product of delusional minds. You people really need to put your efforts towards real politics, and stop pretending you are defending "America" by attacking safe and meaningless targets, like soccer. Go out into the real world; you obviously are unfamiliar with what is out there.
I understand there's always exceptions.
>:)
Do you mean getting rid of the Patriot Act by that?
I think it would be a good thing if this country returned to the clear meaning and intent of the Constitution, which has been effectively a dead letter for quite some time now.
What they really want is for our influence in the world sphere to disappear.
They hate the 9ers, KC, broncos, and a few others I'm sure I'm missing... they have yet to earn a "plays well with others" rating.
Funny thing is, the SF giants have the rowdy fans, and the A's fans (currently MIA due to a crummy record) are the sedate ones.
The NBA is in some respects more enjoyable to watch, yet if you knew half the strategy that goes into a soccer match, you might have a deeper appreciation for the game.
Half the soccer game is spent reacting downfield to something not really in your area.
One good long ball from the opponent's offense can put a defense on edge. I should know, I have had it happen to me several times.
Try matching up your point guard to say someone like Mia Hamm, or Alexi Lalas.
Soccer is still a sport that favors extreme skill, its next closest competitor probably the NHL.
I think that Americans on the whole don't really understand the game. Again, if you realized how much preparation, especially internationally, goes into just one game, let alone several held over the period of one month, you might just appreciae it a little bit more.
How about Michael Johnson, Maurice Green, or Tim Brown as midfielders?
I doubt that a soccer player could outskill a basketball player on a basketball court any day, but the same can be said when the roles are reversed.
On top of all that running, you need to have excellent ball control, precise passing, and near acrobatic shooting. Even with hockey, or basketball, you get tv timeouts, however many else a coach can call, and regular stops of the clock. In soccer, no such luxuries exist. It's grueling, it's energy consuming, and that's why it takes greater skill overall.
In fact, it confirms everything I stated earlier.
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