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Why Do We All Hate Soccer? Any Euro FReepers?
Me

Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift

I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"

So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.

The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,

"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"

The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"

To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.

Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!

The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.

So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.

If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.

Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?

I DON'T CARE!!


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: boring; soccer; sucks
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To: Iowegian
Man, I would never get to sleep living overseas..
341 posted on 06/04/2002 7:21:10 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: codebreaker
Basketball the worlds most popular game in the 21st Century is not derived from the Redcoats.

Reading comprehension must not be very good on this thread. I said that basketball was one of the few games we did not derive from Britain. You are wrong about baskeball's popularlity though, unless you fancy yourself some kind of crystal ball gazer.

342 posted on 06/04/2002 7:22:42 PM PDT by Vast Buffalo Wing Conspiracy
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To: Horatio Bunce
I will take an NBA point guard over a soccer star anyday.

There is a lot of standing around waiting for the ball, and there is no standing when you are guarding Michael Jordon.

343 posted on 06/04/2002 7:23:02 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: Revolting cat!
Why is the Super Bowl champion not the 'World Champion?'
344 posted on 06/04/2002 7:24:14 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: Iowegian
Jim Rome would love 'urine bombs.'
345 posted on 06/04/2002 7:25:03 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: Vast Buffalo Wing Conspiracy
I'm sure I can think of more.
346 posted on 06/04/2002 7:27:00 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: Vast Buffalo Wing Conspiracy
I've been puzzled for a long time about this hatred of soccer and some other sports as well, which is probably why I tend to interpret and over-interpret this phenomenon. I mean what is there to hate? It's all a spectacle and as a spectacle professional wrestling is (or at least was before it went prime time,) is great theater. I can dig them all and not long ago I even found myself fascinated by some Strongest Man in The Universe contest shown at my local tavern every week on some cable channel with lumberjacks carrying odd shape boulders and then attempting to toss them over some obstacle. Sport? Who cares, it's a freaking drama!

But futbol, man? If they're really sports fans, they don't know what they're missing. There is a good reason why the world loves it. Go find out what it is and then decide, is my advice to them.

347 posted on 06/04/2002 7:27:40 PM PDT by Revolting cat!
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To: Vast Buffalo Wing Conspiracy
Stock Car Racing, Surfing, Rodeo, and Skiing.
348 posted on 06/04/2002 7:29:13 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: iconoclast
You only are allowed to use your FEET and the top of your HEAD for cryin out loud! It's like turning a healthy man loose for sex and saying "but you can only use your toes and the tip of your nose"!

Your lovemaking must be very unimaginative then; foreplay involves lots of deliberate limitations imposed to enhance, rather than limit, the pleasure. Similarly removing the hands from the game enhances, rather then reduces, the pleasures of the game.

And as usual, you get it wrong. You can use any part of the body except the hands and arms; it is NOT limited to the "your FEET and the top of your HEAD"; I mean, have you EVER watched a soccer game? Your ignorance makes this exchange all too easy.

The "it's unnatural" argument is just another appeal to ignorance. Throwing a baseball is unnatural, too. It has to be learned. Why do you think girls "throw like girls"? They don't if they have been trained to throw properly. A man forced to use his weak arm (say, a right-hander with an injured right hand) also "throws like a girl". It isn't "natural": it has to be learned. Similarly with soccer: one has to learn to use one's entire body. That includes the arms and hands (for balance), the forehead (NOT the top of the head; one can't control a header except with the forehead), the torso, hips, arms, feet (usually kicking with the instep, not the toe, btw).

If you want to display your sheer ignorance, go right ahead. You are only embarrassing yourself.

349 posted on 06/04/2002 7:30:22 PM PDT by Vast Buffalo Wing Conspiracy
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To: codebreaker
Why is the Super Bowl champion not the 'World Champion?'

It is. But it is because it is a world champion in a sport played in one, that's O-N-E, country. How can it not be? Why not say Universe Champion, as in 'Miss Universe'?

350 posted on 06/04/2002 7:30:41 PM PDT by Revolting cat!
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To: codebreaker
Jim Rome would love 'urine bombs.'

Yes and he just loves succer too. If I remember right it was the Mexican "fans" that threw the "urine bombs".

351 posted on 06/04/2002 7:32:13 PM PDT by Iowegian
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To: GulliverSwift
Folks, I attended a couple of World Cup games when they were at the Cotton Bowl in Big "D". One match I saw, Holland vs Brazil was excellent.

I'll tell you right now the emotion and atmosphere that day was a heck of a lot better than that found in one of Jerry Berry's Dallas Cowgirlz games in God's toilette bowl (aka Texas Stadium).

Go U.S.A.! Go Italia!

Trajan88; TAMU Class of '88

352 posted on 06/04/2002 7:33:25 PM PDT by Trajan88
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To: codebreaker
Stock Car Racing, Surfing, Rodeo, and Skiing.

I was referring to ball games, but fair enough: stock car racing = Southern moonshiners. Surfing = Hawaii and Polynesia. Rodeo = northern Mexico and the American Southwest. Skiing = Scandinavia. Not quite sure what your point is with this list.

353 posted on 06/04/2002 7:33:39 PM PDT by Vast Buffalo Wing Conspiracy
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To: Revolting cat!
But we don't want to be the rest of the world.

We love hating a sport that everyone loves, conflict is in our everyday lives you can hear it on every radio talk show in the nation.

I'm not even sure a 'Tiger Woods' figure could get us to like soccer. Winning the World Cup mike spark some interest but then it is back to NFL..we love all kinds of sports Stanley Cup, NBA Finals, Wimbleton, Tour of France, World Series, Augusta National Masters, Indy 500, Daytona.

Not just impoverished nations playing soccer.

That is the real agenda here that the liberals want to make us euqal with Costa Rica when we are clearly not.

354 posted on 06/04/2002 7:34:40 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: Revolting cat!
What about NFL Europe?
355 posted on 06/04/2002 7:36:04 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: codebreaker
I'm sure I can think of more.

Like I said, I was referring to popular ball games, but your list included a lot of sports which did not originate in the USA.

But rather than wait for you to make more mistakes, I will cut to the chase and list some other American (or North American) derived sports: racketball, handball (oops, these derive from racquets and squash, other British sports)....pool (ooops, billiards, snooker)...oh hell, never mind. Who really cares? Who, that is, of any consequence?

356 posted on 06/04/2002 7:39:42 PM PDT by Vast Buffalo Wing Conspiracy
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To: GulliverSwift
Bump and a pitch for prime time (EDT) replays of WCS on Galavision (and live airings on Univision). And I don't speak Spanish. BTW I'm Ukrainian (dad's side), Irish and English (mom's) but I consider myself just a hyphenless American.

And thanks, BBCAmerica, for a wonderful season of The Soccer Show.

foreverfree

357 posted on 06/04/2002 7:41:04 PM PDT by foreverfree
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To: codebreaker
What about NFL Europe?

There is such thing? Grown organically? When was the last time they were in the Super Bowl World Championship contention? Whay not, if it is true world championship? More likeley, it is like baseball Costa Rica or the Philippines - American sports in colonized territories.

As far as the liberals and their secret plans. C'mon, you surely know better. Futbol preceded the welfare state and will outlive it.

358 posted on 06/04/2002 7:42:01 PM PDT by Revolting cat!
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To: codebreaker
But we don't want to be the rest of the world.

Your energies and talents would be more profitably spent trying to stop the Third World invasion being sponsored by both political parties, including but not limited to illegal immigration, and the continued dilution of American sovereignty into globalist and internationalists organizations and treaties. Not to mention fighting the neo-imperialists who are getting us involved in every disturbance across the globe.

But, no, you would rather waste your as yet unmanifested talents by denigrating a GAME that never did you any harm, has no political consequences, and which you are free to ignore as you chose.

In other words you would rather tilt at windmills, chasing after purely symoblic issues with no real meaning, rather than tackle the pressing and important (indeed, deadly important) issues of the day. In a word, you chose style over substance, symbolism over reality.

Your choice.

359 posted on 06/04/2002 7:45:02 PM PDT by Vast Buffalo Wing Conspiracy
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To: Vast Buffalo Wing Conspiracy
Do you mean getting rid of the Patriot Act by that?
360 posted on 06/04/2002 7:47:47 PM PDT by codebreaker
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