Posted on 06/04/2002 10:08:50 AM PDT by GulliverSwift
I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"
So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.
The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,
"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"
The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"
To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.
Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!
The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.
So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.
If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.
Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?
I DON'T CARE!!
Whatever. If Europe likes the NBA, that's their call. It's hardly a reason to agree to like soccer.
Put another way - there may be a lot of Pizza Huts in Scotland, but that doesn't make haggis taste good.
Dang, I knew SUVs had something to do with it too- that's why I was confused- I thought liberals didn't like SUVs. This is an interesting social dynamic for me and it is odd to be behind on my own culture like this but a novelty as well. When did all this come about? I had never heard of a 'soccer mom' 12 years ago in the States. What was the driving factor behind this phenomenom?
I had sort of got the half a$$ed/light hearted theory that sometime in the 1990s, Bill Clinton had decreed to middle class-yuppie women "Thou shalt vote for me and thou shalt make thy children play soccer". That was the only thing that would explain why the people on Free Republic dislike the soccer moms. Oddly enough, the liberals criticize the soccer mom sometimes too, so that was even more confusing for me- they seemed to have reached that special "Jewish Status" of being a people everyone hates.
If anybody else has any more info on soccer moms and their habits (their dietary requirements, mating rituals, which caliber is likely to bring 'em down- that sort of thing) please let me know. I don't want to be the only guy on this forum who doesn't understand this species.
everyone should have the girls like Oriole Park does...they come out and sweep the bases in between innings.
gag. I guess thats why Americans are the top triatheletes. take the number of "major American" pro atheletes, mulitply that by 100, and you'll almost have the number of triatheltes.
I think that many people think that soccer represents the Europeanization, i.e. socialism, of our nation. The phrase "soccer mom" has come to mean liberal women.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!
George W. Bush appealed to this subset of the females by espousing 'Compassionate Conservatism' and stongly talking about education in his campaign. Al Gore was caught lying about founding the Internet, going on Emergency Rescue trips he never really was on, saying how he loved being a tobacco farmer when his sister died of cancer. (and never really recovered-although his advisors tried to dress him up as a 'macho man' )
Bush is said to be doing well by this group in 2004 as long as the Terror issue still has impact in the Heartland.
It's just odd for me to be told that their is a large influential voting block in existence called 'soccer moms'. I doubt I would recognize a lot of America if I came back. That's why it's a pleasure for me to post on FR and talk to people who still hold core American values dear to heart.
If rugby were played by men with the size, strength and speed of NFL players, I can guarantee you, the public outcry after the first few deaths and/or permanent paralyzing injuries would end the sport. These are the most physically dangerous bodies that money can buy/make.
American football is the one true sport. Strength, talent, endurance, planning, teamwork, thinking, and experience are all needed to be successful. And absolutely everything counts. Soccer really only takes talent and endurance and a little teamwork.
You show your ignorance by this statement. The best players in all the world play baseball here and the two best teams have the World Series. It makes perfect sense, to anyone with a lick of sense and intelligence, anyway. Soccer fan, are you? If so, bashing America's pastime is not going to make us like or watch footie ball. It's a good thing it's on at 2 AM, just what an insomniac needs to get to sleep.
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