Jerrold Nadler's press secretary's web site. Check this lunatic out.

"Me" Eric Schmeltzer's web site ^ | 5/21/02 | Eric Schmeltzer

[LarryLied]

One reason why congress should get no classified information from the Bush administration:

I am the Press Secretary and Speech Writer for Representative Jerrold Nadler. Yeah, can you believe it? Even with this insane website on the internet, they still let me work for a United States Congressman! As my good friend and inspiration, Yakov Smirnov, used to say -- "Vhat a country!"

ME
Whattya wanna know about Da Schmeltz?

Welcome To The Professional World of Eric Schmeltzer
Please hire me!! Check it out! I'm good!

WACKY
Oh man, I don't know if you can handle... THE LINKS!

A futher sampling of Eric Schmeltzer's web site:

NAME:
Eric M. Schmeltzer, D.A. (Doctorus Amori (The Love Doctor)

AGE:
Old Enough to drink, have sex, and shoot a gun. 26. (June 3, 1975 -- A Very Funky Year, Indeed)

GENDER:
All man, baby. ALLLLLLLLL man.

SIZE:
Why? Am I making you horny? Let's shag, baby!

It's not the size, but how I use it. But I will tell you I'm 6'2".

And I have elephantitis of the genitals. YEAH, BABY!! YEAH!!

FAMOUS?
You bet your patootie I am!! Check out what Don King once called my "multitudilicious quotationiacal offericiciousnessly ponderouslings..."

All you need do is check out the google.com search on me! My monkey-ass is all over the place! Me on other pages, quoted in the news, etc.

[Registered]

I hope you are doing as much forwarding as I am!!

[PJ-Comix]

Remember to use the correct name: Long Dong Schmeltzer.

[Registered]

Change duly noted. BTTT.

[PJ-Comix]

Since he probably has some access to classified information, the question must be asked: What did Long Dong Schmeltzer know and when did he leak it?.

[NYC GOP Chick]

For the first time in my life, I am actually HAPPY that my congresscritter is that blonde bepearled RAT airhead, Carolyn Maloney. God I feel strange.

Boy, am I glad that I don't really consider Nadler my congresscritter and have instead "adopted" one more in line with my beliefs and ideals. I just pretend that this far superior one is actually my representative. It helps me deal with the reality. :-)

[Registered]

PLEASE STOP, YOU'RE KILLING ME!! ROFLOL.

[LarryLied]

What did Long Dong Schmeltzer know and when did he leak it?.

ROFLMAO!...

[weikel]

Plz don't lump sluts and the potty mouthed in with the rest of those groups the coolest girl I know is a potty mouthed slut LOL( and I'm potty mouthed).

[Tedmeister]

LOL! He is one fat ugly looking creature! Who is the one to the left?

[LarryLied]

YOWZA!!! . . .there are lots of Usenet posting by and about Schmeltzer. Check it out HERE.

Yowza is right. Think Eric might have a gambling problem? He is very interested in a wide variety of sports. No doubt this is Nadler's guy. The tag line on many of his posts:

"Well, Speaker Gingrich is either STUPID or a FELON; and frankly, I'd like to believe the former." -- Rep. Charles Rangel

Lamenting some games he lost he dropped that tag once for this:

Also, my GOD wouldn't make me eat that damn Matzoh on Passover, if he loved me so much. He'd let me eat some REAL bread.¹

[PJ-Comix]

Long Dong Shmeltzer is about as subtle as a buffalo fart. Here is his self-description of his "size":

SIZE:
Why? Am I making you horny? Let's shag, baby!

It's not the size, but how I use it. But I will tell you I'm 6'2".

And I have elephantitis of the genitals. YEAH, BABY!! YEAH!!

Can you imagine Long Dong Shmelter trying to pick up women at a bar? I bet his pickup line goes something like this:

"Hi! I'm Long Dong Schmeltzer and I am the PRESS SECRETARY for Congressman Waddler. And if that doesn't impress the hell out of you, I have the BIGGEST Ding-Dong of all the Congressional Press Secretaries. Now let's SHAG BABY!! YEAH!"

[floriduh voter]

When did Nadler know and when did he know it? How embarrassing. If he's a speech writer and he happened to become a conservative, he would not be GOOD ENOUGH to post threads here at Free Republic, the greatest collection of talent in the world. The moderator would delete his threads because they seem to be pure nonsense.

No wonder the libs can't come up with their own major site. "Insane?" Yes, I believe him on that point.

Free Republic rules.

[floriduh voter]

Correction: WHAT did Nadler know and when did he know it? (I can't type dem spin very well).

[weikel]

LOL I found a site which claims they are the illuminati.

[anniegetyourgun]

Nothing that can't be cured with self-control and a better vocabulary!

[PJ-Comix]

What did Nadler know and when did he eat it?

[Redcloak]

He sounds a little light in the loafers.

[floriduh voter]

LOL. That's more like it!

[Timesink]

Boy, am I glad that I don't really consider Nadler my congresscritter and have instead "adopted" one more in line with my beliefs and ideals. I just pretend that this far superior one is actually my representative. It helps me deal with the reality. :-)

I believe that's known as the Katrina vanden Heuvel Method!

[Timesink]

In all seriousness, though, the Nadster really ought to consider going in for one of those stomach-banding operations like Sharon Osborne and Al Roker have had done. Otherwise he's going to have a coronary in a few years. Yeah, he's a twerp, but damn it, he's MY twerp (well, twerp-in-exile, I finally moved out of his district), and I don't want him dead. He's too amusing to have around.