"Is this going to be a stand-up fight, sir, or another bug hunt?"
Posted on 04/23/2002 11:13:34 AM PDT by Moosejaw
A suburban Seattle man was arrested Monday and charged with violations of state environmental and endangered species laws after cleaning his garage this weekend.
Authorities said Melvin Condyle of Snohomish was charged with numerous violations of the state's Arachnid Habitat Protection and Preservation Act while cleaning out his garage April 21, resulting in the deaths of an unknown number of unborn spiders.
The incident report on file with the Snohomish County Sheriff's Office states that Condyle "was engaged in the unlawful use of a push broom to destroy designated arachnid habitat, resulting in the destruction of multiple egg sacs and the deaths of an undetermined number of unborn arachnids."
Condyle, 44, was taken into custody without incident at his home about 25 miles north of Seattle Monday evening after an anonymous tip to police that he may have been destroying arachnid habitat, officials said.
Arachnid habitat is closely guarded and regulated, so as to permit the continued breeding of various spiders and allow for greater "species diversity," according to the state Bureau of Insects, Arachnids and Nematodes, which is responsible for oversight of related laws.
Condyle, who was released on a bond of $5,000 pending trial, is believed to be the first person charged with violating the new regulations, which were enacted following the most recent session of the state legislature.
Some groups that pushed for the new arachnid laws are looking at the incident as a test case, and are advocating a get-tough approach with violators.
"This wonton destruction of arachnid habitat is indicative of the low regard we have for Spaceship Earth and it has to stop," said Gossamer Phelps, a spokeswoman for the Tacoma-based Arachnid Action Network. "This wrecker of the planet must be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."
Milt Colulus, an attorney representing Condyle, said the charges are unwarranted and cited a lack of evidence in the case against his client.
"There's nothing to indicate any of the egg sacs allegedly disrupted by my client contained viable arachnid life," said Colulus. "Between the wasps nesting in the rafters and the location of the sacs near the garage door tracks, I'd be shocked to learn any of those eggs would hatch and the young survive arachnid cannibalism."
Snohomish County Prosecutor Adam Schiffer admitted the state could be hampered by not having conclusive evidence of whether Condyle actually killed any unborn arachnids, but was confident of a conviction.
"We have a very strong prima facia case on the habitat charge," said Schiifer. "There were numerous former arachnid habitat seen suspended from the push broom and several egg sacs were actually pierced by the broom's bristles."
Schiffer also said the state had "a good deal" of physical evidence against Condyle. "We have the suspect's fingerprints all over this broom plus his admission that he was, in fact, sweeping his garage when police arrived on the scene," said Schiffer, who described the push broom as being "a large caliber, 30-inch model."
Forensic experts said a preliminary analysis of the evidence showed wispy strands taken from Condyle's push broom were identified as silk, similar to that spun by spiders in the creation of webs and egg sacs. However, authorities said they had not yet determined which species of arachnid was involved in the garage cleaning incident.
The type of arachnid habitat destroyed and the identification of the spider eggs allegedly murdered by Condyle could have a significant impact in the case, Schiffer said.
According to Schiffer, if investigators determine that a Brown Recluse or Hobo spider was the target of the massacre, it could trigger the hate provisions of the arachnid law, subjecting Condyle to additional penalties if found guilty.
"There's simple destruction of arachnid habitat and there's hateful destruction of arachnid habitat," said Schiffer. "The only way to combat the ignorance of arachnid prejudice is to fight it with the full force of law."
Colulus dismissed concerns about his client facing additional arachnid hate crime charges, saying Condyle "didn't have time to hate."
"This is absurd," said Colulus. "The Mariners were on TV on the date in question and all my client was interested in was cleaning out his garage in time to watch the game. He had absolutely no motive or opportunity to single out any particular species of arachnid."
But others claim Condyle's alleged indifference may be worse than committing a hate crime against one or more arachnid species.
"When you have an individual who engages in the wholesale destruction of arachnid habitat without regard for those residents of his garage and their innocent unborn, that's a real warning shot across the bow of society," said Dr. Clypeus Thorax, a professor of animal ethics at Washington State University.
After reading the police report on the incident, Thorax said the nature of the crime merited close scrutiny. "This guy was going after arachnid habitat in the corners, along the slab, around the garage door opener, up on the walls," observed Thorax. "What does it say about American values if we allow this to go unanswered?"
Send a Letter to the Editor about this satire.
Caught in a web of lies and hate, these anti-spider types must be purged from society!!!
...and their precious bodily fluids drained for spider orphans to consume. ;^)
Have the spiders stopped screaming, Clarice? ;-)
Yes, it is indeed. Go search the CNSNews website; they have several classics about Gore on the campaign trail, being pursued by "possessed" muscle cars, hot rod snowmobiles and antique farm tractors. I don't recall if it is the same author, but it may well be.
"Is this going to be a stand-up fight, sir, or another bug hunt?"
I think FReeper "IowaHawk" wrote that one.
I saw it reposted to commemorate Earth Day.
If you think you own your property, which is taxed (so who owns it?), not if some elite bug or animal lives there.
Condyle, Colulus, Thorax, and Clypeus are all parts of a spider's body.
"Game over, man, GAME OVER!"
"It had to be done" he said. "It already ate one of my kids!"
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.