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We all need a humor break every now and then..

God Bless America !!

David

1 posted on 01/30/2002 3:20:22 AM PST by davidosborne (public@davidosborne.net)
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To: Jim Robinson; archy; 4TheFlag; Aeronaut; summer; Ragtime Cowgirl; Saundra Duffy; Flyer...
Bumps and pings for HUMOR ...

Please FReepmail me if you want ON or OFF my ping list..

David

2 posted on 01/30/2002 3:21:57 AM PST by davidosborne
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To: davidosborne
What about PETA people?
3 posted on 01/30/2002 3:33:16 AM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: davidosborne
May I play?

A CALIFORNIA FARMER: You have two cows. Animal rights maniacs burn down your barn. PETA sues you for cruelty. The Sierra Club sues you for water pollution from the storm run-off from your farm.

5 posted on 01/30/2002 3:39:06 AM PST by jimtorr
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To: davidosborne
A minor correction:

ISRAELI CORPORATION: You have two cows. Palestinian terrorists try to steal the cows and fail, getting badly gored in the process. They then claim that the cows were the aggressors.

9 posted on 01/30/2002 3:52:40 AM PST by Slings and Arrows
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To: davidosborne
You got the American Democrat all wrong. Try this:
I have two cows. I impose huge taxes on all working people, so they can't afford to buy cows. I use the tax money to give free cows to non-workers, who then vote for my re-election.
Regards
10 posted on 01/30/2002 4:02:08 AM PST by bobsatwork
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To: davidosborne
FREEPER Farmer: I døn't øwn nø cøws, but I dø have twø Møøses ... er, Meese ... er, Møøsad ...

And øne øf them bit my sister and ate all øf her cheese.

12 posted on 01/30/2002 4:26:44 AM PST by BlueLancer
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To: davidosborne
Bump for the humor

Reminded me that I ran out of bag balm a few days ago.

16 posted on 01/30/2002 5:09:16 AM PST by ElectricStrawberry
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To: davidosborne
AN AMERICAN GUN OWNER: You have two cows. They will get your cows when they pry them from your cold, dead hands.
20 posted on 01/30/2002 6:06:34 AM PST by Flyer
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To: davidosborne
"Here's the Enron version of venture capitalism: 'You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholders who sell the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.'" - Austin American-Statesman editorial, 1/19/02
21 posted on 01/30/2002 6:15:58 AM PST by WillaJohns
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To: davidosborne
Got Milk?
22 posted on 01/30/2002 6:22:40 AM PST by NorseWood
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To: davidosborne
I know this isn't funny, but for me a Republican cow is more like this.

You have two cows. When you finally sell one of them, out of the goodness of your heart you give something to your neighbor, who truly has a need. No one has to force you or tax you to do it.

Then you take it off on your taxes.

23 posted on 01/30/2002 6:23:20 AM PST by I still care
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To: davidosborne
ROTFLMAO!!! Thanks, David, that is the best I have seen in a while on here.

Keep the Faith for Freedom

MAY GOD BLESS AND PROTECT THIS HONORABLE REPUBLIC

Greg

25 posted on 01/30/2002 7:40:13 AM PST by gwmoore
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To: davidosborne
Hey David, thanks for the grin. Hope all is well with you.
26 posted on 01/30/2002 2:33:15 PM PST by Endeavor
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To: davidosborne
Thanks for this post. I have seen it before but wanted to send to someone. Now I can!
27 posted on 01/30/2002 4:57:57 PM PST by Salvation
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To: davidosborne
A NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.
29 posted on 02/14/2002 5:44:51 AM PST by C210N
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To: davidosborne
cute david thnx
31 posted on 02/16/2002 4:35:59 AM PST by Lady GOP
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To: davidosborne
Just remember that the war against males by the nazi feminists started out as humor. Man bashing is now more than a joke.
34 posted on 02/16/2002 6:01:16 AM PST by Khepera
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To: /\XABN584; 10mm; 3D-JOY; 75thOVI; a contender; AABC; abenaki; Abortion SUCKS out a Life...
An oldy but goody bump.. looking for more "COW" lines...

Thanks to all of you that contributed to this list..

David

36 posted on 06/15/2002 5:24:37 PM PDT by davidosborne
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To: davidosborne
WEST PALM BEACH VOTER: You have two cows. You name them Chad and Dimple and count the days until they produce a cALf. And count...and count...and count...
37 posted on 06/15/2002 6:33:29 PM PDT by skr
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To: davidosborne
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT: You have two cows, and everyone wants to know if they are real.
39 posted on 06/15/2002 7:03:39 PM PDT by Orion
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