If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)

JD86 | 12/06/01 | JD86

[JD86]

If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)

I'm an attorney who helps clients with estate planning and other money matters, but I won't claim that I "know it all". I need Freeper advice.

I once had an elderly client who always told his family "When I die, everything you need is in the manila folder". When he died, we searched high and low but we never did find that folder. As a result, it took years to settle his estate.

That shouldn't happen. I am putting together a booklet for my clients - a checklist of sorts - to help them keep track of important family information.

I'm asking for your suggestions. What would you include in such a checklist?

First - the practical. Doctor's name, where's the will, your desires regarding any minor children ... what else?

Second - the emotional. Would you tell your children you are proud of them? To stop smoking? Dump their lousy mate? What else?

Is there anything you would change about what your parents did? Have you made a checklist yet? If so, what's on it?

Also, if you are incapacitated but don't die, what then?

I have a client who has all her medications listed and taped to the inside of her kitchen cabinet and all her family knows where to find it. Do you have any other ideas like that?

Thanks to all in advance for your suggestions. Please post or send me FreeperMail.

[ZDaphne]

Written down family history is invaluable. Recently we had a family reunion and there were just a couple of old timers (in another state) who knew who people were in the old photos our family has kept. I have started a memory book, writing down the old stories and relationships that I know of and can remember. My grandson is only 2 and he will eventually inherit my things an these photos, but without a written history, they would mean nothing to him. Excellent suggestion. Great thread!

[VA Advogado]

Ok. Spill the beans.

[LarryLied]

Isn't JD86 a perfect example of the profession? Here I am offering my time, vast knowledge of humor and expertise to tell a lawyer joke (one not readily found on the net) for free and she thinks I should change the terms of my agreement. It is not fair to post the joke at 100 replies, she wants to drag it out to 200.

Anyoneone know what JD looks like? Perhaps she and I could work this out in private.

[JD86]

Howlin, thanks for sharing. None of us ever think about outliving our children, and none of us should have to. God Bless You.

Thanks for reminding everyone about who should be the guardians of minor children. That is very important. I have seen families fight in court to control the children so they could control the money....very bad situation. Don't leave it up to a Judge to decide.

[tubebender]

Some folks because of the size of their net worth have done major estate planning via living trusts, remainder trusts and gifting to minimize taxes. There are wills and pour over wills and a ton of strategy that needs to be looked at in lite of the new tax laws. It all depends on the size of your estate. If nothing else please do a will tommorow if nothing else and then get serious about all the details on this site.

WARNING...Putting chrildren as co-owners has a serious pit fall. If that child has a judgement placed against them there goes your house. Bruce Williams talks about this on the radio all the time. It also deprive them of the stepup in value on your death.

[mass55th]

Just a note to folks about our experience with our mother's death (1990). She never had life insurance. Wanted her body "left to science" because she didn't want to be a burden on her family. Turns out that her body still had to be removed by a funeral director and embalmed. The medical school kept her body for a year at which time she was cremated and returned to the family. My sister took on the responsibility of picking up the ashes and having my mother buried next to our father.

[SCalGal]

Make sure the living will is kept updated. SHOW someone where all the important papers (life insurance, tax returns, etc) are kept.

[JD86]

I hope you are still reading....."us lawyers" are giving as much free advice as we are getting....

[deadhead]

I also have 3 envelopes that contain my photo, my blood type, a copy of my dental records and xrays, hair samples and fingernail samples. It also contains all the contact numbers that the police or medical examiner will need to reach my family and employment. I want to make it easy on people if they need to identify my body. It might sound morbid, but it's very practical.

Oh my, I have the chills just reading your post, stay safe

[JD86]

I would never have thought of the physical identification stuff in a million years. Thanks so much.

[JD86]

Thanks zip. I knew DD was something military but wasn't sure what.

[VA Advogado]

I want to make it easy on people if they need to identify my body. It might sound morbid, but it's very practical.

Wow. It sounds like you have a dangerous job.

[Salvation]

Thought you might find this thread interesting and helpful, Doug.

[JD86]

Okay, okay.....you can tell a lawyer joke for every hundred posts...:)

The people are working hard and have over 100 in, what's your first joke?

[LikeLight]

Folks, there is some really dangerous misinformation on this thread already (e.g. classic mistake: "just add one of the kids names to my bank account" - once you've done that, you've set in motion several potentially disasterous scenarios - everything from a double-death tax to a total loss of your savings!).

JD, I don't know what kind of attorney you are, but if you are actually writing wills and doing estate planning, don't you think you should have had this figured out long ago (like in 1986)?

I have been loathe to reveal my legal identity on this forum in the past, just because it leads to so much abuse, but in the interest of protecting my fellow FReepers from tragic blunders, I feel compelled to speak up here.

Please folks, retain competent estate planning counsel and don't rely on goofy tips that can end up costing you money or land you in jail (doesn't it occur to people that "cleaning out the safe deposit box before the bank finds out about the death" is tax evasion, a real, actual, bona fide CRIME?). Yikes. Scariest thread I've ever seen on Free Republic.

[VA Advogado]

It also deprive them of the stepup in value on your death.

Does this matter anymore? I thought they did away with capital gains on homes? Or perhaps that only applies to your primary residence.

[Grim]

JD: Thanks for the post. This is important stuff. Here's a couple of my suggestions:

1. Account numbers and passwords for any and all online brokerage accounts.

2. Parents who have minor children must express their wishes, should both parents die, of who should become their children's guardians. Just imagine the grief if the courts need to decide this or if there are relatives who you do not want to have raise your children in the event of your death.

3. In the event of death of both parents, there should be a third party, probably an attorney, who has all of information noted on this thread, i.e, brokerage accounts, passwords, location of will etc.

[bluesagewoman]

Hell, I thought DogRobber was going to give you advice. And for free. We've been through the mill with elderly parents, American Veteran with early onset Alzheimer's, and a brother (former NASA scientist) with advanced MS. If you don't need our experience, just tell us. Not everything is as personal as we feel it. BSW.

[Twins613]

Anyone know what JD looks like? Perhaps she and I could work this out in private.

I'm sure her kids do .. < grin >

[VA Advogado]

Please folks, retain competent estate planning counsel and don't rely on goofy tips that can end up costing you money or land you in jail (doesn't it occur to people that "cleaning out the safe deposit box before the bank finds out about the death" is tax evasion, a real, actual, bona fide CRIME?).

How in the world could you imply that is tax evasion? Its no different than having a diamond ring in the house. The point is ACCESS, not evasion. You clearly have a criminal mind and little intelligence.