From Cradle To Krispy Kreme To Grave, Private Equity Is Making Everyone’s Life Worse

The Federalist ^ | 9-7-2026 | Terry Schilling

[Sir_Humphrey]

Buying a house, raising a family, spending Saturdays at kids’ sporting events – every aspect of normal life is touched by private equity.

Your local doughnut shop got taken over by private equity and, like everything else private equity touches, things got worse. Gone is the experience of watching the conveyor belt fry doughnuts in front of you. No more biting into a freshly made pastry that melts in your mouth. Bad for you? Sure. Delicious? Yes.

Now, it is just bad for you. Private equity stepped in and doughnuts are now shipped to nearly every location from a corporate shop. Krispy Kreme has lost more than 80 percent of its stock value since its peak.

What matters most to Americans?

Family, work, community, a good meal, health — all things that have been tampered with by private equity. Private equity now controls $9 trillion worth of assets and companies, all of which touch the lives of everyday Americans in significant ways. And as private equity attacks industry after industry, the quality changes and the consumer suffers.

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TOPICS: Business/Economy; Editorial; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: affordability; agitprop; nonsense; privateequity

[BenLurkin]

First they came for the Krispy Kreme.

[sjm_888]

Private equity destroys everything it touches.

[ClearCase_guy]

I don’t think this article defines “private equity”.

I agree that everything seems to be going downhill, and all business transactions seem aimed at squeezing every last penny out of me, and businesses seem to get a kick out of screwing their employees. I agree that things seem a bit dystopian.

But “private equity”? Are we just hating on rich guys? because I’m not sure it’s quite that simple.

[blackdog]

Buckman Chemical, now owned by Pritzker Private Equity.

[Bubba Ho-Tep]

“Private equity” is just another word for capital. This is capitalism.

[Sir_Humphrey]

"But “private equity”? Are we just hating on rich guys? because I’m not sure it’s quite that simple."

I am certainly hating on all rich guys and you are correct, it's not that simple. Not all Private Equity is bad but not all of it is good.

[Red Badger]

Just like liberalism. They want to micromanage and control every aspect thinking that they know how best to run a company that was doing just fine before they showed up.

Snapped is another example........

[chajin]

The year I was born, the best corporation movie ever made, Executive Suite, was released. The moral of the story is that a business run by bean counters instead of the product designers loses its soul.

The problem is that practically every business these days is run by bean counters, with the singular exception of public and college education, which is run by ideological idiots.

P.S. Interesting trivia about the movie: it opened at Radio City Music Hall, which was ironic because the movie has absolutely no music.

[Carry_Okie]

Gone is the experience of watching the conveyor belt fry doughnuts in front of you.

I remember seeing that as a kid, with the doughnuts glistening with fat. That cured me of doughnuts. I thought it was gross.

[PAR35]

There are some (a very few) decent private equity firms, but most are just pure evil.

[Alberta's Child]

In my industry, “private equity” means corporate ownership by people and institutions that have no involvement in the operations of the company. It’s like having the Ford Motor Company owned by people who don’t even know a thing about how a car works.

[ByteMercenary]

P/E acquisitions are like socialism - they phuque-up every time. They bring in Harvard money people who don’t know a cherry from a lug nut and make changes without thinking of the consequences.

My most recent contact with this is What-A-Burger. They were P/E’d about 10 years ago and now have a slightly above middle-of-the-road product.

I did recently read about a chain that fired the P/E person in charge of the menu products and re-hired the original chef. Customers noticed almost immediately and are pleased.

[Antihero101607]

Damn. Dunkin’s donuts have sucked for years, Tim Horton’s are mediocre on a good day, a fresh Krispy Kreme was amazing treat every now and then despite having to go far out of the way to get to one, and good local bakery donuts are hard to come by. This hurts hard.

[lastchance]

Would the recent history of Boeing be an example of this?

[PeterPrinciple]

as private equity attacks industry after industry, the quality changes and the consumer suffers.

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And the market adapts and starts producing locally again.

[Dilbert San Diego]

Crispy cream is down eighty percent?

Were they on track to go out of business until acquired by the private equity firm?

[boycott]

They’re also good job killers.

I’ve seen where one buys up 4 companies that produce the same thing. Before they started acquiring these companies, each company had a president, vp-sales, CFO, etc. These are usually your best that have earned those positions. The end result is one president, one VP-Sales, one CFO, one etc. They’re not going to have 4 presidents, vp-sales, CFOs, etc.

I deal with private equity companies all the time. They don’t buy these companies to make better widgets. They buy them to squeeze whatever dollars they can out of them.