Posted on 08/20/2020 3:38:01 PM PDT by bitt
Start your livers.
The DNC drinking game Monday night was so painful (and Tuesday was worse), that I’ve decided to shorten the game tonight to cover Joe Biden’s acceptance speech only.
I watched Biden speak probably a half-dozen times during the primary campaign, and perhaps a half-dozen times before. He has definite tendencies, and his stump speech hits the same six or seven notes every time, but convention addresses are different. Every line, every word, will be scripted. There shouldn’t be ad-libs, freak-outs at hecklers, etc.
Guessing what an unscripted Joe Biden will do at any given moment is pretty interesting. Here we’re basically trying to guess what Biden and his handlers have decided to put on a teleprompter.
Biden will be speaking sometime after 9 p.m. I will be live-streaming with Katie Halper. Details to follow.
Drink EVERY TIME:
Biden says, “Folks.”
Biden says, “The United States of America.” Double-shots for any multiple-America construction, e.g. “The best America is an America where Americans believe in the American dream.”
Biden says, “Middle-class.”
Biden says, “Get up!” as in, “Folks, you’ve got to get up! This is the United States of America!”
Biden says, “You guys.”
Biden says, “Barack” or references the “Obama-Biden administration.”
Biden says, “Soul of America.”
Biden points out a surprising percentage of something, e.g. “Look, folks, seventy-four percent of venture capital goes to four cities.”
Biden says, “My Mom used to say” or mentions one of his father’s relatable jobs, e.g. “He sold a hell of a lot of cars!”
Biden makes a self-deprecating joke about his age or his tendency to say puzzling things.
Biden finishes a section of his speech with a rhetorical flourish, and he sounds angry, and you can’t tell why, because he’s talking about something non-angering.
Biden tells a story about a rewarding interaction with an ordinary person, as in, “I walk over to the guy up in the bucket. And there’s seven guys around him, all with hard hats on. I yelled up and said, ‘Hey, man, thanks!’”
Biden references a job you’ve never heard of, as in “Why is a sandwich maker being forced to sign a non-compete clause?”
Biden says “systemic.”
Biden tells us there’s nothing we can’t accomplish.
Drink the FIRST TIME only:
Biden begins a sentence with, “Look.”
Biden mentions Scranton.
Biden says something that sounds sort of inappropriate.
You may FINISH THE BOTTLE or QUIT if Biden combines any four of the above in one sentence, e.g. “Look, folks, we’ve got to get up if we’re going to be the kind of America we know America can be.”
“Malarkey,” as always, is an automatic drink.
Again, apologies to Substack subscribers. Back to grownup content soon.
Take small sips and hydrate. Good luck, America!
p
Double drink when he mispronounces it "systematic."
Will Slow Joe be live or is it going to be Memorex? I suspect it will be taped. I wonder what the Vegas over / under will be on how many digital edits are made?Hollywood will earn their money tonight.
Give yourself 20 points if your drinking causes you to race to the toilet.
This will not be a live speech. It will be pre recoded and heavily edited.
Take away 5 points if you mute it and do hip hop lip sync with Biden.
extra 10 points if you tape a kleenex over your teeth and maniacly grin every time he flashes his choppers.
We drink BEFORE, I hope.
Estimate how many gaffs he’ll make and chug that many shots as the CONvention starts?
I sure can’t watch it sober...uh uh...nope...
It would be a hilarious You Tube video to do lip sync of Pro Quo Joe’s speech.
It will be per-recorded. If you want to get drunk, just drink every time the video is spliced. I guarantee you’ll be passed out 5 minutes into it.
Triple score each time he says, “Period!”
Fun list! You’ve got him so pegged we’ll all be blitzed four minutes in. I’d add pandering and victimization, particularly on reparations and black lives matter. And I fully expect some garble on climate change #s and how many cases of Corona beer the US has come down with. Come on, man!
Bad Lip Reading could have a blast with this
Be hard to beat Cruz saying “bogle for the glotch” though
“...just drink every time the video is spliced.”
Oh, boy. I’ll be passed out in the recliner. Better get a bowl to keep next to me...
I’m sure he’ll have a high (as in count, not in substance use) viewership, but only because they’re wanting to see him go off the rails ‘live’.
It’ll be working man Joe lecturing us on equality for wimmins.
And he’ll claim to own firearms.
Gay
Ran
Teed
Unite
How much for a ‘come on man’?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.