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How do you deal with people who refuse to wear a mask? Experts weigh in with advice
Pennlive ^ | 14 July A.D. 2020 | Sue Gleiter

Posted on 07/14/2020 4:38:03 PM PDT by lightman

Perhaps you’re perusing the produce aisle at your favorite grocery store wearing a mask when suddenly you bump into a maskless shopper.

Or maybe while visiting Target, another shopper approaches you with a mask slung below their nose.

The coronavirus pandemic has created enough upheaval. Now, we’re all dealing with the social etiquette associated with wearing masks and social distancing.

In Pennsylvania, Gov. Tom Wolf and health secretary Dr. Rachel Levine ordered all residents to wear masks when out in public to help control the spread of COVID-19. They have likened masks to things like wearing shirts and shoes inside businesses that require them, or stopping at stop signs, saying people do those things not out of fear of punishment, but because they understand it’s the right thing.

Those who believe in wearing masks will inevitably encounter those who don’t, so what do you do? Do you stand your ground and urge them to strap on a face covering?

We turned to a few experts in the fields of communication, etiquette and psychology to get their take on this touchy subject.

Here’s what they had to say.

It’s probably best not to say anything

As much as you feel the urge to start pounding your fists in the air and yelling about the benefits of wearing a mask, experts caution to tread lightly.

“Tensions are extremely high about the virus to begin with. I would advise not to say anything. You have to be sensitive to the fact as to why they are not following the advice,” said Jacquelyn Youst, founder of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol in the Lehigh Valley.

Plus, she emphasized you don’t know their reasons for not wearing a mask, as some people can’t wear face coverings due to health issues.

“The best thing you want to do is separate yourself and leave,” Youst said.

What do you want to accomplish?

In addition, it’s a good idea to ask yourself what you want to accomplish, said Dr. Pauline Wallin, a psychologist in Camp Hill.

“Think about if someone is yelling at their kid at the store and you say stop yelling, they never say thank you. If you want to protect yourself, you move away,” she said.

Furthermore, if your goal is to teach someone a lesson, it’s not going to work because confronting them will only cause them to become defensive.

You probably aren’t going to convince them to suddenly join your side.

At this point in the pandemic, it’s safe to assume the majority of people are aware of mask orders, and those who aren’t following the rule have actively chosen not to comply or make it a priority, said Erina L. MacGeorge, professor of communication arts and sciences who specializes in interpersonal and health communication at Penn State University.

“Trying to shame or confront them, it may feel good but it’s not likely to be effective as a compliance-gaining strategy for the person who is not wearing a mask,” she said.

Confrontation only increases your health risks

We’ve all seen the news reports of altercations related to mask wearing. Angry customers and store clerks have been spit on, coughed on and fought with each other across the country over the issue of face masks or lack of them.

Generally, people feel the need to tell people to wear masks for the same reasons as public health officials, MacGeorge said. However, she noted in the eyes of another shopper you don’t have the authority.

Ultimately, experts warn by saying something you could start an altercation, which puts you at greater risk of exposure.

“I think from a public health stand point, I would recommend those who are wearing a mask to prioritize their own health and avoid those not wearing masks,” MacGeorge said.

nd, if you HAVE to say something

If you absolutely feel the need to say something, experts suggest it’s all in how you approach it.

“If you are brave enough, and you want to say something, depending on the situation and how you are feeling, defer it to health officials, ‘I believe we are supposed to be wearing a mask,’” Youst said.

It’s also acceptable to say something like, “Please stand back,” she said.

Likewise, Wallin said if someone gets close to you while you’re grabbing something off a store shelf, ask them to do you a favor and wait until you’re done.

“By asking someone to do a favor, it’s hard for them to say no,” she said.

MacGeorge recommends a similar approach by referencing your own health concerns when dealing with an encounter, especially with a person you can’t avoid.

“If you need to be in line with someone without a mask and they are too close, you could say something like ‘Excuse me, I have some health concerns, could you put on a mask or give me additional space?’” MacGeorge said.

By phrasing it as a favor, you make it more of a special request and don’t sound like you are blaming or attacking them, she added.

“Some will be jerks but it’s a polite way to do it,” she noted.

For those with droopy masks below the nose, Youst suggests either say nothing or, “I think we are supposed to have it over your nose.‘ It’s all in your delivery.”

What if a store employee is not wearing a mask?

Regulations for businesses are far more direct and have been practiced for longer.

“If you have to get close to employees who aren’t wearing a mask, it’s perfectly reasonable to ask them to put on a mask when in their vicinity,” MacGeorge said.

Wallin said she recently noticed a grocery store employee wearing a mask around their neck. Instead of complaining to the management, she said she approached another employee and told them to please tell their colleague to wear the mask.

It worked because the next time Wallin circled her cart past the department, she said the employee was wearing the mask. She said the approach removed her from a role of policing.

Take your business elsewhere

If employees are not wearing masks, leave and take your business somewhere else, or if feasible call the store’s corporate office and file a complaint, MacGeorge said.

If you’re feeling uncomfortable about speaking up in a store Youst advises to not make a scene. Instead, she suggests you could find out the company’s mask policy and defer to a manager.

In the end she agrees with MacGeorge, “If you feel uncomfortable, leave.”

What should employees do about customers not wearing masks?

Many businesses post signs asking shoppers to wear masks. Dave Young, a co-founder and director of training of conflict management firm told the National Retail Federation the key is to not escalate situations involving customers.

“The best thing to do is never let it get to that point. And I want to add — a lot of organizations don’t understand this — that it’s everybody’s job. It’s not about training supervisors to put the fire out. It’s about training the entire staff on how to not have the fire in the first place,” he said.

Boiled down, Young said it’s about using the proper tone, offering options, empathizing and giving them a chance to reconsider.

“Even if you do everything right on the front end, you’re not responsible for how they translate it. I’ve had situations where I’ve been very kind and considerate, and nothing worked. At some point, it comes time to take appropriate action, which might mean to leave and immediately call the police,” Young said.

Youst recommends it’s probably a good idea for businesses to have extra masks on hand to offer to customers.

How do you ask a close friend, family member or co-worker to wear a mask?

With friends, family and co-workers, MacGeorge said you at least have the presumption they will accommodate you, and that helps to avoid conversations about whether the virus is a hoax or ‘I hate your politics.‘”

The best approach is to say: “I understand you don’t wish to wear a mask, but I’m concerned about my health. I would appreciate it if you wear a mask or remain so many feet away from me when we talk,” she said.

Basically, MacGeorge said it’s asking one person to do a favor and accommodate the preferences of another, much like you would do for someone who is a vegetarian. As far as trying to educate them, your ability to work through it is going to depend on their knowledge and commitment to wearing a mask.

Conversations about masks often lead to arguments about viewpoints and politics. As far as presenting evidence on your viewpoints, she cautions not to do it in a public place.

“If you are going to chat with your dad about not wearing a mask, don’t do it when all the other siblings are around,” she said.

How can you convince people to wear masks?

“In terms of being the mask police, you aren’t going to change people’s minds, because their decision to wear or not wear a mask is not entirely based on logic,” Wallin said.

It’s not helping the public is receiving mixed messages about mask wearing from leaders, she added.

One one side, she noted you have people who are wearing masks because it makes them feel safe while other people aren’t as concerned and rationalize they don’t have proof wearing a mask helps.

“So logic isn’t going to help. Shaming and colliding with someone in the grocery store is not going to help,” Wallin said.

Set an example

If you are comfortable and gracious wearing a mask, it sends a message, Youst said emphasizing you can lead by example.

“Just wear your mask and smile with your eyes,” she added.

“Etiquette is about making sure the people around you are comfortable, so you should be wearing a mask to make people feel comfortable. It’s about the respect and consideration of other people,” Youst said.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; News/Current Events; US: Pennsylvania
KEYWORDS: karenovirus; levine; masks; wolf
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To: lightman

Whatsamatter with the author, Sue.

She assumes people who wear masks are the only ones who are intelligent, smart, caring, enlightened, elite, cultured, educated.

Sue needs to understand she is not the best person in the room


161 posted on 07/14/2020 6:16:28 PM PDT by Steven Tyler
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To: MayflowerMadam

MayflowerMadam wrote:


“hearing disabled and must lip-read”

They actually have masks with a clear plastic inset for these people.”

Thanks; will do a search.


162 posted on 07/14/2020 6:16:30 PM PDT by WildHighlander57 ((WildHighlander57 returning after lurking since 2000)
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To: jonrick46
I wouldn't trust that analogy.

I think you meant to respond to someone else. I didn't make that analogy.
163 posted on 07/14/2020 6:16:44 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana (There is no salvation in politics)
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To: cyclotic

I do, too. If I do wear a mask, it is under my nose or chin. I wear it at work because I have no choice, but as soon as it restricts my breathing, which doesn’t take long, it gets taken down. The mask has already given me all-day-long headaches and shortness of breath. Appeasing some stranger who is afraid of catching something that most people fight off isn’t worth risking my health.


164 posted on 07/14/2020 6:19:42 PM PDT by AmericanMermaid
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To: WildHighlander57

I fit that category. So, tell me how I get all mask wearers to wear one of these? Huh?


165 posted on 07/14/2020 6:20:09 PM PDT by Manly Warrior (US ARMY (Ret), "No Free Lunches for the Dogs of War")
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To: Morpheus2009

The demonstrators also get hit with tear gas. The physical reaction is not just loss of vision from the tears. Runny noses and coughing are the result. I am ashamed that no one is making the connection with the demonstrations and the rise in cases. It is obvious with the average age of the population getting infected dropping to 35, down from 65 in March it was the result of the demonstrations.

These demonstrations had a double-barreled effect. Their results have the Marxists doing happy dances. They destroyed cities and their economy as well as giving the virus a big boost, thus prolonging its effects on the economy. In Seattle, for example, the costs of the riots have called for a payroll tax on employees to pay for it. This is targeting Amazon employees and will be an incentive for Amazon to move out of Washington State. The call to end police will permanently destroy cities and America as we know it.


166 posted on 07/14/2020 6:21:49 PM PDT by jonrick46 (Cultural Marxism is the cult of the Left waiting for the Mothership.)
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To: lightman

How do you deal with people who won’t wear a mask?

LEAVE US ALONE AND WALK ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


167 posted on 07/14/2020 6:21:55 PM PDT by PeterPrinciple (Thinking Caps are no longer being issued but there must be a warehouse full of them somewhere.)
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To: who knows what evil?

“...BUT the executive orders allow for this exemption. Of course, you NEED to read the actual order.”

NC/Gov Cooper.s recent executive order has eleven exemptions, one of which, if you’re actively eating or drinking. I figure I can get away from wearing a mask if I stroll into Lowe’s drinking a Miller Lite.


168 posted on 07/14/2020 6:23:20 PM PDT by moovova
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To: Dr. Sivana
If you "bump into a maskless shopper", YOU are the one violating social distancing.

That's exactly correct. I don't wear a mask in most places ... the hospital for appointments being the main one. I try to maintain my distance from everyone as much as possible to keep them from panicking. If they approach me, they lose any of their artificial "high ground" of practicing social distancing ... so screw 'em ...

169 posted on 07/14/2020 6:23:30 PM PDT by BlueLancer (Orchides Forum Trahite - Cordes Et Mentes Veniant)
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To: MayflowerMadam
I dont have a problem with people who dont want to wear a mask if they will just stay away from me

If I was young and healthy..or if I lived in an area that only had a few cases I probably wouldnt wear a mask

Good ole 28 year old CHaz must be over COVID because he has been cooking and drinking up a storm..and redecorating


170 posted on 07/14/2020 6:23:39 PM PDT by RummyChick (Stop Apologizing for things you didn't do. Stop Demanding Apologies when refuse to forgive)
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To: USFRIENDINVICTORIA
If you can’t wear a mask, it’s on you to keep your distance from other people. Your health problems don’t give you the right to risk other people’s health.

If you are out in public, it's on you to maintain your own personal preferred distance from others. Just because you're standing in front of a certain product in an aisle doesn't mean they can't get it off the shelf. If you are that worried about it, then you need to be the one actively avoiding others. Or, just hide in your house and don't come out until the election is over.
171 posted on 07/14/2020 6:24:27 PM PDT by Svartalfiar
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To: WildHighlander57

You can find them on Etsy pretty cheap.


172 posted on 07/14/2020 6:25:09 PM PDT by RummyChick (Stop Apologizing for things you didn't do. Stop Demanding Apologies when refuse to forgive)
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To: lightman

We were told “Two weeks! Just give us two weeks!” “Just flatten the curve!”

What ever happened to those lies that we said where lies when they were said?


173 posted on 07/14/2020 6:27:16 PM PDT by CodeToad (Arm Up! They Have!)
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To: mistfree

I like this conclusion from one of you links:

“Masks are a powerful tool and can be used by countries with limited supplies of antiviral drugs and vaccines. In addition, economically feasible preventative global mitigations will benefit the world as a whole. We can conclude from our model that N95 respirators if worn properly are an effective intervention strategy in reducing the spread of the pandemic (H1N1) 2009.”


174 posted on 07/14/2020 6:27:19 PM PDT by jonrick46 (Cultural Marxism is the cult of the Left waiting for the Mothership.)
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To: ZephyrTX

“OMG - it’s called “BEING NICE!!””

How is demanding people do stupid things like wear a mask “nice”??


175 posted on 07/14/2020 6:27:50 PM PDT by CodeToad (Arm Up! They Have!)
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To: WildHighlander57
this thing might suffocate you
176 posted on 07/14/2020 6:28:32 PM PDT by RummyChick (Stop Apologizing for things you didn't do. Stop Demanding Apologies when refuse to forgive)
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To: dforest
Oh for pity sake. Most of those masks tell you they won’t protect you from virus. A piece of cloth, most peoples are dirty and flimsy and are a joke.

Such a shame how so many have bought into this mask clown show.


Not just masks. Any place will accept a bandanna or scarf covering your face as a "mask". Those aren't rated for ANYTHING.
177 posted on 07/14/2020 6:28:39 PM PDT by Svartalfiar
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To: RummyChick

Hate to tell you because I don’t want you to freak out and commit suicide, but you’ve already been exposed to this virus a number of times by now. No mask ever prevented that. You haven’t gotten sick yet or died.


178 posted on 07/14/2020 6:29:21 PM PDT by CodeToad (Arm Up! They Have!)
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To: RummyChick

179 posted on 07/14/2020 6:29:41 PM PDT by RummyChick (Stop Apologizing for things you didn't do. Stop Demanding Apologies when refuse to forgive)
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To: Dr. Sivana

My mistake. I was replying to post #4.


180 posted on 07/14/2020 6:30:42 PM PDT by jonrick46 (Cultural Marxism is the cult of the Left waiting for the Mothership.)
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