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Navy destroyer collides with building in downtown Houston [satire]
Duffleblog ^ | 29 Aug 2017

Posted on 08/29/2017 8:47:31 PM PDT by rey

HOUSTON — As if the city of Houston hasn’t seen enough tragedy due to catastrophic flooding from Hurricane Harvey, things took a turn for the worse today after a U.S. Navy ship collided with a building in the downtown area.

The ship was identified as an Arleigh Burke-class destroyer belonging to the Navy’s 7th Fleet.

It was unclear why the destroyer was not able to see the building and take evasive action, or why it was over 20 miles inland and trying to navigate through a major metropolitan area.

“I had climbed up on my roof due to dem risin’ flood waters, when I saw a big ship sailin’ down the street,” said Georgia Brown, a resident who witnessed the incident. “I says to myself ‘Oh Lawdy, someone’s done come to rescue us!’ and then it sails right past my house and smack straight into that yonder building.”

This marks the fifth collision incident this summer for destroyers from the Navy’s beleaguered 7th Fleet, following incidents involving the USS Fitzgerald, USS John S. McCain, and the USS Ted Kennedy.

The Navy declined to comment on the cause of the collision, citing an ongoing investigation, although it did say the captain had been promptly relieved of his command.

Despite reticence from the Navy, a senior defense official speculated the ship had likely veered off course from its patrol route in the South China Sea.

Navy officials say they are planning a number of PowerPoint trainings related to urban maritime navigation.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: crap; harvey; houston; notarealnewsoutlet; satier; satire; stupid; usnavy
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To: Freeport
Ya think?! IT’S. THE. DUFFLE BAG!!!!!!!!!

Never heard of them before now. But since there are those here who believe the stupidest things, then pass it along to others, I thought I'd put that out there, just in case.

81 posted on 08/30/2017 6:29:21 AM PDT by ETL (See my FR Home page for a closer look at today's Communist/Anarchist protest groups)
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To: JohnyBoy; clintonh8r

I know it. There are so many who don’t get jokes and are too careless or stupid to check.

But, this one got me instantly laughing out loud and almost waking my wife to tell her. I did tell her when she woke later.

LT, U.S Navy (retired)


82 posted on 08/30/2017 6:50:58 AM PDT by jimfree (My17 y/o granddaughter continues to have more quality exec experience than an 8 year Obama.)
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To: rey

I’m pretty sad at how funny this is.

But I lost it laughing over the Bush family “photo” catching big fish in Katrina too...


83 posted on 08/30/2017 6:54:01 AM PDT by Yaelle (We have a Crisis of Information in this country. Our enemies hold the megaphone.)
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To: Freeport
Ya think?! IT’S. THE. DUFFLE BAG!!!!!!!!!

For the record, I never thought for more than a few seconds that there could be any truth to this (the time required to read the first few sentences). That is why I pasted the "Georgia Brown" quote in large type. To point out the obvious humor intended by the article. The 'fact checker' stuff I posted was more about revealing some of what I thought were interesting details regarding the photoshop. How they apparently grabbed the photo from Wikipedia, etc. I didn't pick and chose from what else was there. I simply copied the whole thing here.

In any case, people do occasionally post bogus stories and photoshopped images here, clearly believing in their heart and soul that they are for real. The one with John Kerry at the podium with Jane Fonda is one such glaring example. Turned out the image was pieced together with two entirely separate photos. Not that Kerry didn't appear at "anti-war", actually pro-communist, rallies with her, he certainly did, at least once, but the use of that phony image only served to help discredit the legit efforts of people trying to expose him and his communist affiliations.

On the other hand, this particular story here was over-the-top ridiculous from the get-go and probably didn't need any clarifications. Probably. Or should I say, hopefully.

84 posted on 08/30/2017 7:17:18 AM PDT by ETL (See my FR Home page for a closer look at today's Communist/Anarchist protest groups)
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To: AndyJackson
Spend some time inside the Beltway and you will discover that it is, sadly, deadly serious.

The world's scary enough without hearing 'the whole truth'...

85 posted on 08/30/2017 8:08:36 AM PDT by GOPJ
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To: Jeff Chandler
Don't mock Captain Binghamton - he may just have a solution to the Navy's evident training and operating deficiencies.

;-)

86 posted on 08/30/2017 8:15:38 AM PDT by Charles Martel (Progressives are the crab grass in the lawn of life.)
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To: Charles Martel
Captain Binghamton could bring us the winning solution:

"PROACTIVELY “FROM THE SEA”; AN AGENT OF CHANGE LEVERAGING THE LITTORAL BEST PRACTICES FOR A PARADIGM BREAKING SIX-SIGMA BEST BUSINESS CASE TO SYNERGIZE A CONSISTENT DESIGN IN THE GLOBAL COMMONS, RIGHTSIZING THE CORE VALUES SUPPORTING OUR MISSION STATEMENT VIA THE 5-VECTOR MODEL THROUGH CULTURAL DIVERSITY."

From the great CDR Salamander blog.

That HS is what we specialize in in Washington DC. Mattis wants lethality based training. We have a gazillion contractors who will give him lethality based training.

87 posted on 08/30/2017 8:23:37 AM PDT by AndyJackson
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To: clintonh8r
And yet, sure enough, the article has been tagged as satire.

Some other reasons for labeling:

Not everyone wants to read satire, and the label allows faster sorting, especially if a member's settings show titles only. I don't use that setting often, mostly because I like the added context to see if I'm likely to regret opening a thread. Loading the index page with less text, though, can be much faster for me during DOS attacks and other problems.

The label shows that the poster is not unknowingly one of those who forward every questionable "story"--yes, we do see such threads here, but threads based on apparently credulous people inadvertently spreading hoaxes are usually deleted.

The step of adding the label just may dissuade some from posting more and more satire, especially bad satire. I appreciate labeled vanities, and I think sometimes that some pressure to label them prevents members from posting too many, especially bad vanities.

88 posted on 08/30/2017 8:43:33 AM PDT by Lonely Bull ("When he is being rude or mean it drives people _away_ from his confession and _towards_ yours.")
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To: ETL

“In any case, people do occasionally post bogus stories and photoshopped images here, clearly believing in their heart and soul that they are for real. The one with John Kerry at the podium with Jane Fonda is one such glaring example. Turned out the image was pieced together with two entirely separate photos. “

That’s trawling pretty deep to have to go back to something that happened 13 years ago.

Most people have wised up since then.

The do-gooder instinct shown here is just like the SJW community who can’t be offended and need their safe space.


89 posted on 08/30/2017 8:54:48 AM PDT by Rebelbase (Tyranny can hide within decorum.)
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To: Spktyr

I appreciate your point of view.

Some of what you have stated certainly has basis in fact. I’ll grant you that.

There’s nothing to be gained by belittling our armed forces in any way.

We are the only ones in the nation who fully support our armed forces, and now we’re willing to make demeaning jokes about them in public.

You really think that’s going to help our Navy?

It will simply cause them to sink lower in many people’s minds. The disrespect will grow.

Not playing that game.


90 posted on 08/30/2017 9:06:27 AM PDT by DoughtyOne (Exempting Trump and his team, our media and government have adopted the Zoolander management style.)
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To: Rebelbase

There are lots of other such examples of people posting less-than-accurate, misleading, or entirely bogus stuff here. And they’re usually not doing it as a joke. Rubbish like Obama is a muslim, as opposed to what he really is, a pseudo-intellectual communist elitist atheist. Communists have no sincere religious beliefs, of any kind. That fake ‘church’ he attended for 20+ years, under his self-proclaimed ‘spiritual adviser’ Jeremiah Wright, advocated communist-concocted Liberation Theology, a totally bogus church movement created by the Soviet KGB back in the 60s. Black Liberation Theology, a variant of standard LT, was created by black communist James Cone some years later.


91 posted on 08/30/2017 9:10:19 AM PDT by ETL (See my FR Home page for a closer look at today's Communist/Anarchist protest groups)
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To: Billthedrill

Buildings are a menace to navigation because the sophisticated electronics the Navy uses aren’t calibrated to detect them. This needs to be remedied with more contracts to electronics firms to develop more complicated gizmos and gadgets that can do that.


92 posted on 09/01/2017 10:27:13 PM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: clearcarbon
Glad it wasn't it wasn't a submarine.

Well, the chief reason for that is because Houston doesn't have subways!

93 posted on 09/01/2017 10:29:06 PM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: BradyLS

> Glad it wasn’t it wasn’t a submarine.

>>Well, the chief reason for that is because Houston doesn’t have subways!

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

Awesome.


94 posted on 09/01/2017 10:30:05 PM PDT by JohnyBoy (We should forgive communists, but not before they are hanged.)
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