Posted on 07/17/2017 6:11:02 AM PDT by artichokegrower
Not long after California officially banned state-funded travel to Texas this summer, we awoke in a hotel there, behind enemy lines. It had been decades since my last visit to the Lone Star State; our daughter had gotten an offer she couldn’t refuse there from a graduate program. That was the good news.
The bad news was, she’d be spending the next several years in a state whose political leaders are pathologically hostile to the blue state where she was born and raised.
(Excerpt) Read more at sacbee.com ...
Isn’t it a shame that your daughter should be exposed to people with points of view different from those that you would prefer for her to have.
...It is, famously, the place that California isn’t....
And it is, famously, the only state that fought it’s own war against government tyranny.
“pathologically hostile...”
And yet, why don’t I read Texans writing this kind of trash. Project much?
Seriously... a bathroom bill is going to somehow destroy your kid?
it is California leaders who are “ pathologically hostile” to the state of Texas.
We have a winner, almost, hostile to most of the rest of the US would be a complete one. Still, bravo!
Most of the Universites are hotbeds of Leftism. Is it not time for states like Texas to question just what is taught at their universities? Might it not be best to cut out those courses that promote leftists causes? Wouldn’t Texas save a lot money and decrease the influence of the left in their State?
As long as she stays out of Austin, Houston and the other liberal bastions of stupidity.
Y'all have probably seen this before, but here it is again:
Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:
Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.
Here are the scorecards from the event:
CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy Shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff. I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy.
CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face.
CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced.
CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.
CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no linger focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Freakin' Rednecks! ! !
CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!
CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.
FRANK: You could put a #)$^@#*&! Grenade in my mouth, pull the #)$^@#*&! pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my X*$(@#^&$ mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit, to match my X*$(@#^&$ shirt. At least the during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.
FRANK: - - - - - Mama?- - - (Editor's Note: Judge # 3 was unable to report).
Don’t send your daughter. Texas already has enough fascists.
If the daughter has as many emotional issues and biases as the writer then it could be difficult. She will literally imagine a threat EVERYWHERE.
If the daughter is emotionally stable, the article had a few concrete/non-emotional concerns. The daughter will be safe unless
* she is gay and wants to adopt without leaving the state (not sure it’s a safety issue)
* she gets arrested and can’t prove she’s a citizen or legal resident
* she wants a no-effort abortion
* she has a penis and wants to use the women’s rooms (not stated in the article but probably a concern of mom and certainly a possibility)
Other than that the article can be shortened to “I’m a liberal snob and would go out of my way to be offended by everyone in Texas and offend them. And I’d do my best to make sure we can’t relate to each other. I hope my daughter is like me but if so Texas is the wrong place for her”.
Awesome thread! The Bee doesn’t stand a chance messing with this web site.
Are you kidding ? I grew up in SoCal, later became a Texan, following my family roots. I haven’t been to SoCal since 90’s. I have opportunity to make one last trip to my former homeland. I am terrified to go back. It’s insane there. Nothing like my wonderful childhood home. I feel safer in Texas, I at least have right to self protection there (except in Austin). Have family living up in foothills above San Bernardino. Sitting on deck listening to gunfire and police helicopters has become a a macbre form of entertainment. Over run by illegals, San Berdo is as bankrupt as Chicago and Detroit.
Amen to that !!!
LMAO!!!!!
:: ... after California officially banned state-funded travel to Texas...
...a state whose political leaders are pathologically hostile to the blue state where she was born and raised. ::
Think about this juxtaposition and then ask, “Project much, Shawn?”
lol - just in time for Texas new law on Knives, swords and daggers.
http://www.star-telegram.com/news/politics-government/state-politics/article161355843.html
No, it won’t. Texas will be terrible for her. It is full of snakes, scorpions and cactus and is too hot. That was not a heat wave around the 4th of July. That was normal summer. Send her somewhere else. Austin already has way too many SJW type Kalifornia transplants in it. Better to keep your snowflake in Kalifornia where it is safe and the infection won’t spread.
The entire subject of this article is absurd.
Someone is afraid of sending their daughter to college in Texas?? They really fear for her personal safety in the state of Texas, because Texas isn’t as liberal politically as where she’s from in California???
I really can’t understand the thought process, that someone would have fears for their child’s own personal safety, in the state of Texas. I can’t fathom the mindset that comes up with this as a factor to weigh in deciding where the daughter goes to school.
If Californians are as smug, arrogant, intolerant and obnoxious as this woman her and her demon spawn should stay the F out of TX. All this liberal talk of tolerance, respect for other cultures, diversity, etc is PURE BS.
Depends. If she is attending UT and living in Travis County, she may not even notice a difference from life in CA.
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