Posted on 04/27/2012 5:00:27 AM PDT by Kaslin
One afternoon I stopped by the bank to make a few deposits. I was in a rush and needed to get in and out as soon as possible. I had places to go and things I had to do. I picked the worst possible time of day and the worst day of the week to do my banking. But I had been out of town and needed to catch up on errands before the weekend began.
There was only one teller working and the line was about fifteen people deep. After waiting patiently, I got close to the front of the line. Looking back at the dozen or so people who had entered the line after me, I was relieved that the wait was almost over. Unfortunately, the elderly woman who was making a deposit was requiring a lot more assistance than the others who had gone before her.
She must have been 85 years old. She held a cane in one hand and wore a thick pair of glasses that were visible only after she peeled away her sunglasses. They were the kind of sunglasses that fit over her regular glasses and were big enough to block harmful rays from even the nastiest of solar eclipses. They were the kind that retirees used to wear to watch shuttle launches in south Florida. The kind people older people wear when they are consumed by practicality and no longer care as much about fashion.
When she was finally finished with her transaction, she started to make small talk with the teller behind the counter. She did not seem to notice that there were so many people in line behind her. The teller smiled and nodded at everything she said. The old lady told her she reminded her of her daughter. Then she asked the teller whether she had children. She just kept making conversation while the young woman behind the counter provided her with full and undivided attention. She seemed to feel sorry for her. It was as if she appreciated sitting where she was rather than occupying the elderly woman’s shoes.
But there was a younger man in the line who did not feel the same sympathy for the old woman. He glared impatiently at the teller as if to say that she should tell the elderly woman she was holding up the line. He even held out one of his hands and waved at the teller. He was signaling that he had been waiting long enough and that it was time his needs were met. But the teller kept nodding politely and giving the elderly woman her undivided attention.
Someone should have said something to the younger man who was so impatient. He should have understood why the elderly woman was clinging on to the conversation with the young teller. It was probably more than a reminder of her children. More likely, it was a reminder that she had not seen them or talked to them in quite some time.
As soon as she finished talking to the teller, the elderly woman walked out of the bank and headed across the parking lot towards her car. She was walking slowly and labored with every step as she leaned upon her cane for support. She had no one to help her. No husband. No son. No daughter. There was nothing to lean on but a cane.
The younger man who had been so impatient with her needed to hear my pastor talk about the time our church went caroling at the old folks’ home about a year and a half ago. He needed to hear the stories of the elderly people whose lives had been enriched by hearing songs sung to them by people who had never met them before. He needed to hear that elderly people are a treasure and not an inconvenience.
Of course, my pastor was not there to tell him. But I was in the bank that day. In case you haven’t figured it out, the impatient man in the line was me.
I should have dropped what I was doing and given the woman a hand as she made her way across the parking lot. I should have made plans to go back to the retirement home to spend a few hours of visitation. Like you, I probably won’t make it back until Christmas. I have places to go and things I have to do.
My parents were insperable. Their love surrounded so many. All I have to do is ask “what would mama want me to do?”
Sure makes the decisions easy.
My first grand child is going to be born in a few days. His initials will be CHP....Dad says it’s CHIP. The I stands for Infant. Asked what happens when he’s no longer an infant...He says we’ll change it to Intelligent.
(The H is his name) so this is his baby. Hope his mom and dad don’t mind.
My daughters were a blessing to me.
I am sure your dad appreciates what you do for him, even while hating that he needs it.
/johnny
I would give anything to have mine back so I, too, could help him once again.
I lost my sister last week, which now makes me the sole living member of my original family of five. It's a very lonely feeling knowing there is no one left with whom to reminisce childhood memories.
anyone ever been in a line where the elderly person, once a young jerk, is an old jerk? Older people who cut to the front of a line and say “I have this one ‘little’thing...” or “there is a line?”
My son is a social worker by profession (even though he’s now on tour with a professional music group).
He sat me down shortly after dad decided to make his visit permanent and told me to stop doing for dad. I was making him an invalid. So I backed off. Best advice he ever gave me. Dad fixes his own breakfast and generally does little jobs to help around the house. At 92 he reads constantly is quite content to watch his ballgames and care for our two border collies (who take care of him).
I won't have to worry much about it. When my daughter would help me up and walk me to the bathroom, at the door she would tell me: "You're on your own. Hollar when you are done." ;) Both are ex-military. No coddling, just providing the required assistance.
Fortunately, within 6 months I was back on my own.
/johnny
An elderly woman was slowly ordering a meal, asking many questions of the very patient young women working the counter
Then when she gave her money and got her change, she insisted she had given the clerk a $20, when the clerk knew
it was a $10 but had already put it in the cash drawer.
When the clerk's patient response did not ease the old woman's insistence, she gave her change for a $20 and said “Don't worry about it, honey” - then looked at me and smiled
In these contentious social times, the race of the old woman and all the KFC store clerks were quite different
but all the KFC staffers showed deference patience and good humor with the old woman
and then there was impatient me standing behind her in line looking at my watch
Even as I left I wished I had just paid for her meal, now I really do!
If an elderly person stops the line to have a several minute conversation with the cashier, I'm sorry, but that is not OK. Its rude and has nothing to do with age. And I know a number of "elderly" people in their 70s and 80s who think the same way. They don't go to the supermarket on "senior day" because of it. People in their 70s and 80s are not doddering old fools who have to be coddled and allowed to do what they want -- we can have sympathy for someone who takes more time to pay or who has a question about a product, but not someone who wants to hold up a line to have a conversation because the cashier reminds them of their grandson.
My husband and I were traveling to Oregon a few years ago and pulled over into a very very remote rest stop to use the facilities (I was eight months pregnant at the time and had a three-year old).
An elderly couple was nearby in a motorhome that they couldn’t get started and there was no cell phone service in that area. I watched as the man struggled with the ignition and fussed around under the hood.
When my husband came out of the restroom, he ran right over and looked over their engine to see if he could spot what was wrong — nothing. We wanted to take them to the nearest town but they refused to leave their motorhome. Finally, my husband got out the jumper cables, hooked them up to our car and their engine started right up. We followed them for a long way to the nearest town so they could get help.
I shudder to think what might have happened to them in such a remote area and I hope someone would be as kind to us if we were in that situation.
Believe me, that elderly couple was grateful.
I think it is something that comes with age, perspective. I was much more impatient when I was younger. I still have quite a bit of impatience during rush hour traffic, though. That is not the time to take a “Sunday afternoon stroll.”
Gee, thanks. You just reminded me of how old I'm getting....
What you say is absolutely true though. As time passes, it seems to move faster and faster and our perspective changes. I still snort in derision at the idiots who cut me off in traffic, risking all for a second of positioning, but I don't remember the last time I stood on my horn or flipped them off. Life's too dang short to get into deals that might cut it absolutely short.
If you have to pay for their contraception - where does it end?
Stack up the lines Charlie we ain't hiring more tellers.
Oh where to begin? That old woman survived her son, MAYBE she was not so hot a mother. Borderline personality mothers always charm strangers at first.
NOT every old person was a great person or decent parent.
Abusive and neglectful parents grow old and feel awfully damn sorry for themselves and can look pitiful. But that doesn’t change that they lived a selfish life and treated their kids with no consideration.
I had such a parent and still have.
When some says what you said,
“Her son died before she did, but she never knew, and never talked about him. Her funeral was paid for by the state, and the only people there were my family and a couple folks from the old neighborhood. She was such a good woman, only to be rejected because she ‘lived too long’.”
You cannot say she was such a good woman, you have NO IDEA what kind of life she led, how she treated people when younger, nothing.
My Dad when he fully retired would make an adventure out of going to walmart, he would check every aisle. He would say how busy he was. I noticed that what should take a few minutes he will make it an all day project to give him something to do.
So I have projects going on, and do not go to the store for the “adventure” of it. When I start doing that I will have to reassess my life.
And then there is the person in line in front of you at the store that after the cashier has rung up everything, the person then starts to look for the payment method usually digging through their purse (but I have seen guys do something like this also).
Tears in my eyes...
My mom died at age 47. I was young and self absorbed but I did get the chance to tell her I loved her. No mom is perfect, but no other mom is YOUR mom. If you can forgive her, please do, and tell her so. Not for her, but for you. Then you will never have to live your life with regrets.
That was good advice. We built a little home for my Mom on our property. She lives there rent free and utility free. I take her to all her Dr. appts., hair, grocery, etc. She is having shoulder replacement surgery in a few weeks, so there have been a LOT of appointments, and I will be staying with her in the hospital. NO WAY am I leaving her there alone. However, I do try not to do EVERYTHING for her. She bakes cookies, makes her own meals, etc. My boys work in her flower garden for her when she needs help (shoveling dirt, etc). I told her I’d do everything I could for her, short of wiping her butt! At that point, we need to talk! LOL! She laughed, also. Wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s one of my best friends, and I dread the day she is gone.
They might just as well be singing, Young Puppy Caught in a Hailstorm in the City as far as I could tell. I can recognize a word once in a while, the rest of it is just noise.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.