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FReeper Canteen - Christmas Cheer - 23 Dec 2010
A resipte place for our troops, vets, military families & all who love & support them!
| The Canteen Christmas Crew
Posted on 12/22/2010 6:15:36 PM PST by AZamericonnie
~Holiday Cheer~
Last Christmas, grandpa was feeling his age, and found that shopping for Christmas gifts had become too difficult. So he decided to send checks to everyone instead.
In each card he wrote, "Buy your own present!" and mailed them early.
He enjoyed the usual flurry of family festivities, and it was only after the holiday that he noticed that he had received very few cards in return. Puzzled over this, he went into his study, intending to write a couple of his relatives and ask what had happened. It was then, as he cleared off his cluttered desk that he got his answer. Under a stack of papers, he was horrified to find the gift checks which he had forgotten to enclose with the cards.
A Letter To Santa From Mom--
Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.
I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the in-laws' house seem just like mine. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch a cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always...Mom.
P.S. - One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.
What To Give An Optimist And A Pessimist--
A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.
Just to see what would happen, at Christmas time their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.
That night the father passed by the pessimist's room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.
"Why are you crying?" the father asked.
"Because my friends will be jealous, I'll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I'll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken." answered the pessimist twin.
Passing the optimist twin's room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure. "What are you so happy about?" he asked.
To which his optimist twin replied, "There's got to be a pony in here somewhere!"
*Christmas in the Military*
*Christmas For Our Military*
*Remember Our Troops This Christmas Season*
*Santa Claus.Com*
*Elf Yourself*
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TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Free Republic
KEYWORDS: canteen; military; troopsupport
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To: LUV W
241
posted on
12/22/2010 9:39:07 PM PST
by
TASMANIANRED
(Liberals are educated above their level of intelligence.. Thanks Sr. Angelica)
To: MS.BEHAVIN
242
posted on
12/22/2010 9:39:40 PM PST
by
TASMANIANRED
(Liberals are educated above their level of intelligence.. Thanks Sr. Angelica)
To: MS.BEHAVIN
She’s beautiful..Thank you, MsB.
(((HUGS)))
Wishing you and Mr B a very Merry Christmas.
243
posted on
12/22/2010 9:39:51 PM PST
by
MEG33
(God Bless Our Military Men And Women)
To: mylife
Have a wonderful Christmas visit with your son, My.
244
posted on
12/22/2010 9:47:18 PM PST
by
MEG33
(God Bless Our Military Men And Women)
To: yorkie
;o)
I am thankful you are not flooding..We are in need of rain here.
245
posted on
12/22/2010 9:50:15 PM PST
by
MEG33
(God Bless Our Military Men And Women)
To: MS.BEHAVIN; TherealMr.B
Hey, I know him...what a handsome fella.MERRY CHRISTMAS, MS B and Mike.
246
posted on
12/22/2010 9:52:31 PM PST
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: TASMANIANRED
Well...guess winter is truly here for a while, huh!
247
posted on
12/22/2010 9:53:18 PM PST
by
luvie
(Deck the harrs with bowrs of horry. Fah, rah, rah, rah, rahhhhh....rah, rah, rah, rahhhhhhh! :))
To: Kathy in Alaska
248
posted on
12/22/2010 9:55:42 PM PST
by
MS.BEHAVIN
(Women who behave rarely make history)
To: Kathy in Alaska
249
posted on
12/22/2010 9:58:10 PM PST
by
PERKY2004
(Proud wife of a military pilot ~ Please pray for him (he's deployed to Iraq))
To: PERKY2004
250
posted on
12/22/2010 9:58:40 PM PST
by
PERKY2004
(Proud wife of a military pilot ~ Please pray for him (he's deployed to Iraq))
To: fanfan; MS.BEHAVIN; AZamericonnie; LUV W
251
posted on
12/22/2010 10:01:41 PM PST
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: TASMANIANRED
Well, Christmas with family will be great.
Maybe you can just vegg and relax, and drink
in the peace. Enjoy every second .. may it be
a fun and happy day to remember the reason
for the season .. and how blessed we are .. ;).
252
posted on
12/22/2010 10:06:41 PM PST
by
STARWISE
(The overlords are in place .. we are a nation under siege .. pray, go Galt & hunker down)
To: LUV W
It sure is. Till about March.
253
posted on
12/22/2010 10:11:13 PM PST
by
TASMANIANRED
(Liberals are educated above their level of intelligence.. Thanks Sr. Angelica)
To: STARWISE
I’ve been trying...but it’s easy to get caught up in the rush...
254
posted on
12/22/2010 10:12:12 PM PST
by
TASMANIANRED
(Liberals are educated above their level of intelligence.. Thanks Sr. Angelica)
To: Kathy in Alaska; LUV W; TASMANIANRED; All
*yawn*
Off to me bedchamber!
Love to all and hugs alla round!
255
posted on
12/22/2010 10:13:08 PM PST
by
MS.BEHAVIN
(Women who behave rarely make history)
To: MS.BEHAVIN
G’night, Ms. B.
Sweet dreams...and stay warm!!
256
posted on
12/22/2010 10:14:22 PM PST
by
HiJinx
(I can see Mexico from the back porch...)
To: Kathy in Alaska; MS.BEHAVIN; mylife; TASMANIANRED; BIGLOOK; oldteen; PERKY2004; PROCON; SandRat; ...
LOL! Thanks, Kathy! STSF! :)
Gotta go....see ya tomorrow! (((hugs)))
NITE EVERYONE! (((HUGS)))
((((LBH))))...for my BB! :D
257
posted on
12/22/2010 10:14:39 PM PST
by
luvie
(Deck the harrs with bowrs of horry. Fah, rah, rah, rah, rahhhhh....rah, rah, rah, rahhhhhhh! :))
To: LUV W
258
posted on
12/22/2010 10:16:52 PM PST
by
NYTexan
To: MS.BEHAVIN
Nighty-night, Sis! Sweet dreams! (((hugs)))
259
posted on
12/22/2010 10:16:58 PM PST
by
luvie
(Deck the harrs with bowrs of horry. Fah, rah, rah, rah, rahhhhh....rah, rah, rah, rahhhhhhh! :))
To: LUV W
G’night, LUV...don’t work to hard, tomorrow!
260
posted on
12/22/2010 10:20:16 PM PST
by
HiJinx
(Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night!)
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