Volcano Releases One Trillion Cow Farts Into Atmosphere

United Nations Intergovernmental panel on Cow Farts ^ | April 21, 2001 | R.S.

[Bean Counter]

On May 2 2008, Chile's Chaiten Volcano released a gigantic cloud of emissions composed of ash, steam, smoke, and various oddball gases whose estimated amount equals to one trillion cow farts, a UN-sponsored climate change study revealed. "In just one day, this volcano set the Kyoto Protocol back 15 years, obliterating the otherwise outstanding success of our multi-billion dollar efforts to curb the release of cow farts into the atmosphere," complained Chairman of Intergovernmental Panel on Cow Farts (IPCF) Rajendra K. Pachauri at an emergency conference at Grand Plaza Hotel in New York yesterday. "Therefore, we demand that this eruption be considered unscientific and thus disqualified from inclusion into climate change models. Need I mention that it wasn't sanctioned by the the United Nations?"

*snip*

[Bean Counter]

National and international bodies generally regard the IPCF as authoritative, and its reports are widely cited in almost any debate related to cow farts. But the biggest achievement of the IPCF has become an international acceptance of the Cow Fart Unit, or CFU, which has become a universal standard in measuring air quality and pollution, as well as commercially distributed carbon credits.

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

Volcano Releases One Trillion Cow Farts Into Atmosphere

Well, what were all those cows doing inside that volcano in the first place, for heaven's sake...? ;)

[KoRn]

LOL!!!!!!!

[Kartographer]

If this is true, then why can I still smell the stench coming from Washington?

[green pastures]

How will Iceland ever pay for all it’s carbon credits?

[a fool in paradise]

How’d the cows get in there in the first place and does Bean Counter do all of the fart count news around here?

[AnglePark]

ROFL! Love the headline!

[ShadowAce]

Your graphic is a little off.

I Trillion is 1,000 Gigafarts--not one million gigafarts

[gundog]

Slow cooking.

[historyrepeatz]

Where’s the beef?

[WVKayaker]

BBQ

[Sacajaweau]

Were we shortchanged on the deaths of the Polish President and family because Obama was not present. Certainly can’t have anything to do with the fact that Poland is pretty much Catholic....AND “No missile defense for them” thanks to Obama.

[FrankR]

The EPA should permanently ban volcanoes...now.

[Doogle]

..."sorta makes my occasional tuna toot insignificant"

[mlocher]

I get so angry when I read about how cows are destroying the Earth. It makes me want to run out and tip a cow over.

[texmexis best]

Issue cow f@rt securities, take out default swaps against them and when they fail you walk away with all that cash.

See? EZ wasn’t it?

[K-oneTexas]

Sounds like another AlGore money making machine!

[GonzoGOP]

How’d the cows get in there in the first place and does Bean Counter do all of the fart count news around here?

They should worry less about counting the beans and just stop feeding them to the cows at the bottom of a volcano. I mean you have a trillion cows farting away down there, somebody lights a match and the whole stinking mountain blows up.

[SparkyBass]

Well, we finally know.

“Eyjafjallajökull” is Icelandic for “The Sphincter of the Giant Cow under the Earth”!

[Irenic]

I hope when Rahm farted on the Charlie Rose show it didn’t push us over the top!

One fart too many...