My prescription for political indigestion (Chuck Norris Facts)

World Net Daily ^ | October 5, 2009 | Chuck Norris

[cdga5for4]

I'm sure my blood pressure has risen countless times over the past year watching our "public servants" overspend. I'm tired of seeing out-of-control government over-reaching into every area of our lives. And I especially hurt for Americans, many of whom are jobless, homeless and with little hope for the future.

I need a break from watching the political drama and recklessness in Washington.

Know what I mean?

That is the reason I finally agreed to write my new book, "The Official Chuck Norris Fact Book" (released Nov. 1 by Tyndale Publishers), in which I share my favorite 101 facts and 101 humorous and inspirational related stories. (Proceeds from the book will go to help KICKStart Kids).

For those who have somehow not heard of the Chuck Norris facts, they are mythical expressions of my life and abilities, a collection of sayings, quips and quotes, created by young and old alike, that have elevated my character and personhood to almost legendary, Paul Bunyan-like status.

[cdga5for4]

Chuck Norris has written an official Chuck Norris Facts Book

[JRios1968]

Chuck Norris has written an official Chuck Norris Facts Book...

...and it's already been roundhouse-kicked to 1st place in the Best Seller list.

[JoyjoyfromNJ]

Last school year some of those “facts” were used as covers for notebooks and binders sold in Target. I knew a least a few grown men who purchased some notebooks. Can’t remember the sayings exactly but they were funny.

[Personal Responsibility]

My favorite:
Chuck Norris shot down a german fighter pilot in WWII by pointing at it and saying “BANG!”

2nd favorite:
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect 4 in three moves.

[sr4402]

Chuck Norris Quote: "President Bush DID have a sure fire plan to end the war in Iraq, However Chuck Norris was busy that day."

http://www.favorite-famous-quotes.com/funny-chuck-norris-quotes.html

[marine86297]

There is no life on Mars because Chuck Norris has already been there.

The Boogey Man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris ; )

[Mr. Lucky]

All time favorite:

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

[marine86297]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep..... He waits!

Chuck Norris's tears cure Cancer and AIDS... Too bad he's never cries. ; )

[Freedom2specul8]

RoFL! Saw an interview or read one somewhere, he said he LOVES these jokes..

[marine86297]

I WILL BE FIRST IN LINE FOR CHUCK’S BOOK!

[cdga5for4]

Looks like he’s doing a book signing in New Jersey on Nov. 6.

http://www.powerpg.net/bk/nov09.html

[MSgt Smith]

Superman wears Chuck Norris underoos

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

God asks Chuck Norris for help with math homework.

Chuck Norris can express pi exactly in an algebraic series with five terms. He didn’t have time to reduce it to four, since he was too busy saving the world.

[elcid1970]

Chuck Norris does not walk from one location to another. He shuffles his feet once, and then the earth rotates beneath them until he is where he wants to be.

[r-q-tek86]

For your Christmas wish list

[MudPuppy]

just pre-ordered it :)

[MudPuppy]

just pre-ordered it :)

[reagan_fanatic]

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because the only element Chuck Norris believes in is the element of surprise.

[Only1choice____Freedom]

Update!!

Chuck Norris's tears cure Cancer and AIDS... Too bad he's never cries. ; )

However, Sarah Palin can cure cancer.

She can by being the only one who can make Chuck Norris cry.

[LongElegantLegs]

Thanks for the ping!

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard; only another fist.