FReeper Canteen~Share Your Resolutions~31 Dec 2007

Happy New Year! | Canteen Crew

[AZamericonnie]

The Freeper Canteen Asks

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS YOU CAN KEEP

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep?

Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes you think.
4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Not date any of the Baywatch cast.
7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1. 8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like,the back of the livingroom sofa.
9. Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
10. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
11. Not have eight children at once.
12. Get in a whole NEW rut!
13. Start being superstitious.
14. Personal goal: bring back disco.
15. Not wrestle with Mike Tyson.
16. Not bet against the New England Patriots.
17. Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.
18. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.
19. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.
20. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
21. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.
22. Not eat cloned meat.
23. Create loose ends.
24. Get more toys.
25. Get further in debt.
26. Not believe politicians.
27. Break at least one traffic law.
28. Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
29. Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.
30. Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
31. Stay off the MIR space station.
32. Not worry that a new strain of bug will cause the end of the world.
33. Get wired with high-speed net connections at home.
34. Not swim with Pirahnas or sharks.
35. Associate with even worse business clients.
36. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.
37. Wait around for opportunity.
38. Focus on the faults of others.
39. Mope about my faults.
40. Never make New Year's resolutions again.

[MS.BEHAVIN]

*sigh*
Yep, another storm...
Gonna try and get some pics of this one for TT!
He loves snow pics!
LOL

[AZamericonnie]

No money left after Christmas...

LOL....isn't that just the truth Sandy!

[mylife]

2nd and 3 for the colts

[grame]

My top resolution for the year is to take care of my daughter-in-law while her husband (my son) is in Iraq. He leaves in about 30 days. They have no children, so it is just her and her job to occupy her, but I’ve made it my goal, and she has agreed, to teach her how to cook all his favorite things.

On the fun side, I resolve to continue to do things with all 10 of my grandchildren that totally irritate their parents. Staying up late, eating marshmallows by the bucket load, computer games, canasta....the list is too long for this post.

God is good, all the time.

[Colonial Warrior]

It is growing more everyday. Especially at the Atlanta Airport where we have thousands of soldiers passing through every day.

It is a simple but heartfelt gesture. The movie clip sorta says it all.

[luvie]

Happy Birthday
GodblessUSA

Suzanne Ciani~Butterflies
[click]

[HiJinx]

Well, that’s good. It’s beginning to sound like each major airport (major in the sense that a lot of troops move through) has something going on to thank troops.

It makes me very proud that America stands behind her warriors this time around.

[AZamericonnie]

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs…

These Cats’ New Year’s Resolutions/Affirmations are super cute! Read on…

• My human will never let me eat her pet hamster, and I am at peace with that.
• I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished watching a horror movie.
• I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.
• I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff them down the sink’s drain.
• I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and puke them up so the humans can see that I’m getting plenty of roughage.
• I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)
• I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files.
• I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.
• I will not perch on my human’s chest in the middle of the night and stare into her eyes until she wakes up.
• We will not play “Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti” over any human’s bed while the human is trying to sleep.
• Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
• I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.
• I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
• I will not intrude on my human’s candle-lit bubble bath and singe my bottom.
• I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.
• If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
• When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.
• Birds do not come from the bird feeder. I will not knock it down and try to open it up to get the birds out.
• The dog can see me coming when I stalk her. She can see me and will move out of the way when I pounce, letting me smash into floors and walls.
  That does not mean I should take it as a personal insult when my humans sit there and laugh.
• I will not play “dead cat on the stairs” while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.
• When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.
• I will not swat my human’s head repeatedly when she’s on the family room floor trying to do sit ups.
• When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are not a hammock.
• Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.
• I am a walking static generator. My human doesn’t need my help installing a new board in her computer.

[luvie]

LOL! Thanks for the thread and for the suggestions. Finally! Some resolutions I might be able to keep! :D

((((Connie))))

[mylife]

Colts.. first down

[PROCON]

Hey is my mistress in here some where ?????

You shouldn't of asked!!

Yoo-Hoo, al baby, we still on for tonight?

[Lady Jag]

Funny New Year Quotes

The New Year may be a significant event for many people. But the absurdities of the celebration cannot escape a skeptic's mind. Here are some funny New Year quotes. What better way to start a New Year than with a hearty laugh? You can share your joy by greeting everybody with these funny New Year quotes.

Mark Twain
New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

Bill Vaughan
Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

P. J. O'Rourke
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

Jay Leno
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution.

James Agate
New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

Eric Zorn
Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.

Bill Vaughan
An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

Charles Lamb
New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

Mark Twain
New Year's Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.

Judith Crist
Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that.

Anonymous
Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.

Joey Adams
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!

Anais Nin
A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

[mylife]

dammit! the drive fizzled. Colts punt

[AZamericonnie]

I'd end up bringing every animal home with me.

I can sure relate to that!

Great resolutions MotleyGirl70 & good luck with that last one!:)

[MS.BEHAVIN]

LOL
“When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are not a hammock.”
That’s Minette alright!
She lays there even as her head bobs up and down while I type!

[RDTF]

LOL - no, but now I know you can relate

[AZamericonnie]

Love this link Colonial & thank you!

[PROCON]

LOL!!

Good post!

[AZamericonnie]

Yes....time off in Jan is a good thing!

[PROCON]

Will bump til later!! :)