Posted on 11/09/2007 8:55:53 PM PST by Kaslin
Moments after the Senate confirmed President Bush’s nominee for attorney general yesterday, despite objections by some Democrats that Michael Mukasey had been evasive on questions about torture, Mr. Mukasey told Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, “If you really wanted answers, you should have waterboarded me.”
Waterboarding is a rarely-used interrogation technique that simulates drowning to extract vital information from a terrorist. During confirmation hearings, Mr. Mukasey refused to definitively say whether he thinks the procedure constitutes torture, a declaration which would ban it from the U.S. government’s list of intelligence-gathering options.
“Ted Kennedy thinks I’m a clear and present danger to America,” said Mr. Mukasey, “but he didn’t have the guts to do what it takes to get the answer he believed would have protected our nation. A few drops of water in my nostrils and I would would have sung like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.”
“Of course,” Mr. Mukasey noted, “perhaps Sen. Kennedy didn’t think waterboarding me would work. After all, he knows from personal experience that a man can nearly drown and still keep a secret.”
Aww, I was hoping he actually said it. =o)
I was hoping this was real, but I guess I should have known better.
Darn! I thought that was for real. Not! but I was hoping.
We will know soon enough....the Democrats will find ways to challenge his courage to defend America.
“After all, he knows from personal experience that a man can nearly drown and still keep a secret.”
Somebody PLEASE give Mr Kennedy a “Band-Aid.”
These guys get me every time.
Awesome!
Scrappleface blows away that satire site that stopped letting us post here a few years ago. I forget the name already - - Onion-something?
It’s The Onion
Kennedy to Mukasey: watch it buddy, you should know that I am absolutely ruthless when anyone is inconvenient...... I don’t bother with waterboarding, either....... full-scale drowning of the victim is more my style!!
Or, to make it more gentle, perhaps we should have a debate assisted by sodium pentathol.
If Kennedy had really wanted answers, he would have taken Mukasey on an ride to the jetties.....
Yeah, I had to look a second time to realize it was Scrappleface. Good one! You had me going.
I fell out of my chair laughing at this SF!
You should issue a warning with on this!
It sucked me in for two whole paragraphs. Funny stuff! LOL
It’s not that far from the truth when it gets down to it!
The Demmies will be for it before they were against it, doncha know? ;-)
“We need more resources and methods at our disposal to extract information on Bush appointees:” he said.
“This recent interrogation of Mukasey is just the most recent example” he continued.
“Had the majority party of the US Senate had the equipment we could have attached electrodes to his genitals. I feel confident we could have extracted his true feelings on the use of waterboarding”
Some people actually respond to an 'article' before realizing it is humor - and we look, well, not good.
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