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Mukasey to Kennedy: 'You Should Have Waterboarded Me'
Scrappleface ^ | November 9, 2007 | Scott Ott

Posted on 11/09/2007 8:55:53 PM PST by Kaslin

Moments after the Senate confirmed President Bush’s nominee for attorney general yesterday, despite objections by some Democrats that Michael Mukasey had been evasive on questions about torture, Mr. Mukasey told Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, “If you really wanted answers, you should have waterboarded me.”

Waterboarding is a rarely-used interrogation technique that simulates drowning to extract vital information from a terrorist. During confirmation hearings, Mr. Mukasey refused to definitively say whether he thinks the procedure constitutes torture, a declaration which would ban it from the U.S. government’s list of intelligence-gathering options.

“Ted Kennedy thinks I’m a clear and present danger to America,” said Mr. Mukasey, “but he didn’t have the guts to do what it takes to get the answer he believed would have protected our nation. A few drops of water in my nostrils and I would would have sung like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.”

“Of course,” Mr. Mukasey noted, “perhaps Sen. Kennedy didn’t think waterboarding me would work. After all, he knows from personal experience that a man can nearly drown and still keep a secret.”


TOPICS: Government; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: chappaquiddick; chivasregal; satire; swimmer
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1 posted on 11/09/2007 8:55:54 PM PST by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin
Scrappleface!!

Aww, I was hoping he actually said it. =o)

2 posted on 11/09/2007 8:58:33 PM PST by chaos_5 (Fred & Hunter '08)
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To: Kaslin

I was hoping this was real, but I guess I should have known better.


3 posted on 11/09/2007 8:59:58 PM PST by oldbrowser (Democrats don't care about "the kids".)
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To: Kaslin

Darn! I thought that was for real. Not! but I was hoping.


4 posted on 11/09/2007 9:07:37 PM PST by Spunky ("Everyone has a freedom of choice, but not of consequences.")
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To: chaos_5
Somehow, I think Mukasey was saying the same thing as 'ol Scrappleface....only he's much more subtle.

We will know soon enough....the Democrats will find ways to challenge his courage to defend America.

5 posted on 11/09/2007 9:08:48 PM PST by HardStarboard (Take No Prisoners - We're Out Of Qurans)
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To: Kaslin

“After all, he knows from personal experience that a man can nearly drown and still keep a secret.”


Somebody PLEASE give Mr Kennedy a “Band-Aid.”


6 posted on 11/09/2007 9:10:13 PM PST by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: chaos_5

These guys get me every time.


7 posted on 11/09/2007 9:10:29 PM PST by dr_lew
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To: Kaslin

Awesome!
Scrappleface blows away that satire site that stopped letting us post here a few years ago. I forget the name already - - Onion-something?


8 posted on 11/09/2007 9:13:02 PM PST by Lancey Howard
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To: Lancey Howard

It’s The Onion


9 posted on 11/09/2007 9:16:16 PM PST by Kaslin (Peace is the aftermath of victory)
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To: Kaslin

Kennedy to Mukasey: watch it buddy, you should know that I am absolutely ruthless when anyone is inconvenient...... I don’t bother with waterboarding, either....... full-scale drowning of the victim is more my style!!


10 posted on 11/09/2007 9:19:14 PM PST by Enchante (Democrat terror-fighting motto: "BLEAT - CHEAT - RETREAT - DEFEAT")
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To: Kaslin
I think waterboarding would be a good approach to the next Democrat debate. It would be interesting to know what the Democrat presidential candidates really think. (In fairness, this applies to the Republican candidates, too.)

Or, to make it more gentle, perhaps we should have a debate assisted by sodium pentathol.

11 posted on 11/09/2007 9:46:21 PM PST by AZLiberty (President Fred -- I like the sound of it.)
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To: Kaslin

If Kennedy had really wanted answers, he would have taken Mukasey on an ride to the jetties.....


12 posted on 11/09/2007 9:55:18 PM PST by The_Media_never_lie
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To: Kaslin

Yeah, I had to look a second time to realize it was Scrappleface. Good one! You had me going.


13 posted on 11/09/2007 10:04:44 PM PST by originalbuckeye (I want a hero....I'm holding out for a hero (politically))
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To: Kaslin

I fell out of my chair laughing at this SF!

You should issue a warning with on this!


14 posted on 11/09/2007 10:05:52 PM PST by ChinaGotTheGoodsOnClinton (To those who believe the world was safer with Saddam, get treatment for that!)
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To: Kaslin

It sucked me in for two whole paragraphs. Funny stuff! LOL


15 posted on 11/09/2007 10:14:32 PM PST by TigersEye (This is the age of the death of reason.)
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To: Spunky

It’s not that far from the truth when it gets down to it!


16 posted on 11/09/2007 10:25:52 PM PST by FlashBack (Need Some FReep Help: Vote for Gene Hinders at www.racingjunk.com Oct.15-Nov.15 2007)
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To: AZLiberty

The Demmies will be for it before they were against it, doncha know? ;-)


17 posted on 11/09/2007 10:55:53 PM PST by pillut48 (CJ in TX --Soccer Mom and proud RUSH REPUBLICAN! WIN, FRED, WIN!!!)
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To: Kaslin
Here is an update to this story:

Kennedy: “We need more information on Bush appointees”

UPI: Senator Kennedy held a press confence today on the steps of the capitol.

“We need more resources and methods at our disposal to extract information on Bush appointees:” he said.

“This recent interrogation of Mukasey is just the most recent example” he continued.

“Had the majority party of the US Senate had the equipment we could have attached electrodes to his genitals. I feel confident we could have extracted his true feelings on the use of waterboarding”

18 posted on 11/09/2007 11:24:06 PM PST by ChinaGotTheGoodsOnClinton (To those who believe the world was safer with Saddam, get treatment for that!)
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To: Kaslin
I love Scrappleface, I subscribe to their emails, but I don't think it should be posted in FR without a mandatory - "this is not a real post, it is satire, it is funny, it is NOT presented as fact or entrapment" alert.

Some people actually respond to an 'article' before realizing it is humor - and we look, well, not good.

19 posted on 11/09/2007 11:44:06 PM PST by norton (Go ahead, vote for Hunter, you know you want to.)
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To: Kaslin
But Kennedy doesn't believe in the simulation of drowning. He is an "expert" in actual drowning.
20 posted on 11/10/2007 2:45:51 AM PST by MIchaelTArchangel
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