What Would FReepers Do? A Question to the Forum.

RFace's Life ^ | 3.17.2007 | RFace

[rface]

I now know what I am going to do – But I am curious as to what other FReepers might do when faced with this situation.

What will I do?? (I know what I am going to do.)

I have a cousin whom I love, and with whom I am close. I grew up with this guy. We are both in our middle 40s. We both have gone through our teen-age years with some trouble along the way – and we both now hold good jobs. We both have done pretty well – in spite of our earlier attempts at self-destruction…..and in spite of some heavy burdens that life has thrown our way.

I was married a few months ago (my 2nd…and my last) and I invited my cousin and his “significant other” to our wedding. They flew in from Boston and my wife and I were very happy to have them here to be at our wedding.

I am very close to my cousin. I also like, and get along with, his “significant other”. My Cousin and I don’t see eye-to-eye on some things, but he did vote for Bush in 2000. And we agree on a lot of taxation and financial conservative views. He’s pretty much conservative-ish….sort of…(not that his politics has anything to do with this issue) ….except that he’s gay and he sent me a wedding invitation for me and my wife to come to the wedding in Massachusetts.

My Cousin knows where I stand on the Gay Marriage issue…. And my wife shares my view. Our views are not secretly held. We both think a Marriage is between a man and woman – but we both also think “civil unions” may be an option that Gay couples should be able to utilize.

The Question: Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??

[dforest]

Going to a Gay wedding is to validate it. I could not.

Once you go you have accepted gay marriage.

I wouldn't do that no matter how much a person must adore Rudy.

Isn't that what this is really about?

[Non-Sequitur]

Yes.

[lowbridge]

My vote: Go. And bring an expensive present and have a good time.

For the record, I am against Gay Marriages, but this "wedding" will go on with or without you being there. So it makes no sense to snub your beloved cousins invitation. If you dont go, you'll hate yourself and needlessly put a rift in your relationship with him.

[daybreakcoming]

Knowing your feelings about gay marriage, your cousin has knowingly really put you and wife in a very uncomfortable position. A nice note about his plans would have been the way rather than a command performance invitation to his wedding.
That's the way I see it.....boils down to good manners and a show of respect to you and wife's standards/beliefs.

[Paine's Ghost]

If you do go, post who threw the bouquet and who shot the garter.

[kidd]

Don't be so easily offended; no offense was given.

You have your principles. rface has his.

I wasn't lecturing you on YOUR principles; really...I could care less about your particular set of principles. It has nothing to do with this thread. What matters to this thread is if you, as a Freeper, stick to your principles when they are tested.

rface clearly stated his principles. rface asked what a Freeper would do. A Freeper would stick to his principles. Attending the homosexual party that mocks marriage will violate his principles. He shouldn't sacrafice his principles, even if he risks offending his cousin. The founding fathers of this country risked far more for their principles.

[whatisthetruth]

Jesus hung out with prostitutes and thieves. He wasn't really all that picky.

LOL! I wouldn't exactly say Jesus "hung out" with these types but He did go in venues where His help was sorely needed.

I doubt tho Jesus would ever be attending anyone's gay wedding unless only to start preaching against it in the middle of the ceremony.

[CANBFORGIVEN]

I'm curious?? Have you spoken to your cousin about your dilemma? Explain to him how much you love him but the struggle you are having inside because of your moral beliefs. Maybe he can give you the permission you need from him to not attend, but at the same time he will know that you love and appreciate him enough to have an honest conversation with him.

Maybe you can invite to take him to a special dinner to "show" your love for him and extending kindness to his "significant other". They both are loved by God, regardless of their sin, and you need to restore and encourage him gently and in love. I don't believe this includes actually attending his wedding.

[Ol' Sparky]

I absolutely would not go. I write a letter to your cousin telling him you love but that you disagree with sexual behavior and decision to "marry" and why. If you're a Christian, share the gospel with him and let him know that you'll be praying for him.

[norwoks]

I remember hearing very similar comments from people in the 60's regarding interracial marriage.

[RunningWolf]

I remember hearing very similar comments from people in the 60's regarding interracial marriage.

The comments may be similar, but the issues are worlds apart.

Interracial marriage was still marriage between a man and a woman.

[Pinkbell]

I see you have already reached a conclusion on this issue. Personally, though, I would not attend the 'wedding'. My attendance would imply that I am there supporting or giving my blessing for an 'union' that is an abomination to God. As a Christian, I try to do the Lord's will, regardless if others agree with it. Basically, on one hand I would be saying I am opposed to homosexual 'marriage' and their agenda, but on the other hand I would be celebrating a homosexual 'marriage' with my cousin.

The responses on this thread have surprised me because blood relations have come up as a reason to support immorality.

[Zeroisanumber]

Life is too short to refuse your cousin for the sake of politics. Go, and wish him well.

[Zeroisanumber]

I am probably the only Freeper who has ever been to a gay leather bar in San Fran. Not on purpose mind you. Was meeting a friend for drinks and he suggested a bar.

Strangely enough, you're not alone. Although like you I'm neither gay and I'm not really into the leather scene. An ex-girlfriend and one of her gay friends suggested it, and I had an alright time.

[no dems]

I would send a note telling him that you love him and that you always will but you just cannot attend the ceremony because it violates your convictions. End the note by saying: "Thank you for understanding my very difficult dilemma."

[chuckles]

If you believe Jesus is God,( which I do), and the Bible says I(Jesus) and the Father are One and If you've seen Me( Jesus), you've seen the Father, then Jesus killed everyone, men, women, and children, dogs and cats, in Sodom and Gomorrah. Trying to reason with sinners was one of Jesus' great mercies, but there is not one verse in the Bible that says God repented from His action in Sodom and Gomorrah. On the contrary, there are dozens of verses condemning homosexuality. God can forgive any sin, even murder, but you must repent. You cannot say you want His forgiveness, but stay in rebellion against Him.

Jesus hanging around tax collectors and prostitutes has nothing to do with his approval of their behavior.

I would decline to go, and I'm sure the cousin would know why if they truly know each other as well as they say. It's like saying I'm for law and order, but I will go watch my cousin rob a bank to see if he gets away with it.

[chuckles]

#308, best answer so far.

[philman_36]

Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??
No, I wouldn't.
And keep in mind that if you do go your doing so may very well be taken as silent admission of consent to their choice of lifestyle and an acceptance of gay marriage.
You may also be seen as a hypocrite for doing one thing while saying another. Sometimes actions speak louder than words.

[dcnd9]

If he knows where you stand, respectfully decline attending.

-

[jmc813]

FWIW, I attended a Massachusetts lesbian wedding of a close family member. I was a bit weirded out beforehand, but it was a lot less creepy than I expected, and actually a very good time. Gays tend to have good and sophisticated taste in food and wine.