Posted on 03/17/2007 1:44:41 PM PDT by rface
I now know what I am going to do – But I am curious as to what other FReepers might do when faced with this situation.
What will I do?? (I know what I am going to do.)
I have a cousin whom I love, and with whom I am close. I grew up with this guy. We are both in our middle 40s. We both have gone through our teen-age years with some trouble along the way – and we both now hold good jobs. We both have done pretty well – in spite of our earlier attempts at self-destruction…..and in spite of some heavy burdens that life has thrown our way.
I was married a few months ago (my 2nd…and my last) and I invited my cousin and his “significant other” to our wedding. They flew in from Boston and my wife and I were very happy to have them here to be at our wedding.
I am very close to my cousin. I also like, and get along with, his “significant other”. My Cousin and I don’t see eye-to-eye on some things, but he did vote for Bush in 2000. And we agree on a lot of taxation and financial conservative views. He’s pretty much conservative-ish….sort of…(not that his politics has anything to do with this issue) ….except that he’s gay and he sent me a wedding invitation for me and my wife to come to the wedding in Massachusetts.
My Cousin knows where I stand on the Gay Marriage issue…. And my wife shares my view. Our views are not secretly held. We both think a Marriage is between a man and woman – but we both also think “civil unions” may be an option that Gay couples should be able to utilize.
The Question: Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??
Pal, it's a big mistake to go. It was too bad you had to come to an Internet posting board looking for your answers. Sounds like you were just looking for someone to help justify your decision.
Be a man and do the loving moral thing. Stand up for what is right even when it's unpopular.
Interesting posts to be sure. I say since your cousin and his 'other' were good enough to come to your wedding ( as you requested) then you now should return the favor.
If you wanted to make a stand against his 'beliefs' you should've started by inviting him to your wedding WITHOUT his 'other'. So I can't see how you can now say they're not good enough to 'accept'.
OTOH the chances of this marriage lasting too long are practically nil, but your cousin will always be your cousin and could probably benefit from your future counsel when his 'failed' marriage occurs.
I know it's apples and oranges, but I was trying to get him to imagine the situation from another point of view. I don't see what you mean about Freepers being like leftists on this thread, but I do see some compassion, and that's what conservatism is all about. Conserving what's good in life, not throwing out the baby with the bathwater in the name of progress. "Family warmth and closeness" would definitely qualify as "good".
As conservatives (and as decent human beings) we deplore the left's attack on the family unit. Everyone has that in common here. The gay agenda is certain part of that attack. But I don't think that God nor the cause of conservatism would be best served by his beloved cousin's absence on the most important day of this man's life.
True, that does not mean that we cannot place conditions on the people we love. They receive our love unconditionally, but we don't accept everything they do. It is not the same thing He can still love his cousin and not attend.
In fact, real love requires that you do that right thing for the person, even at your own expense. In this situation, not attending is doing the right thing. Attending is helping the cousin feel better about his very wrong decision -- a decision that may cost him his soul if he does not one day repent and leave the man.
Good point.
Either it's apples and oranges (two different situations) or it's not (it's the same situation seen from another point of view). You're not thinking.
Your views are terribly, terribly flawed and based in sentimentalism, not good.
Conservatism is not, in and of itself, a good. Obeying God is what is good.
I'm not saying he should throw away his relationship with his cousin. His cousin is the one throwing away his life, and placing all his decent relationships at an impasse where he is forcing them to go along or threaten the relationship. Not a loving thing for a cousin to do.
The cousin has shoved everyone into a corner. He has publicly identified himself as gay, thereby stating a moral position on the issue and challenging people he KNOWS disapprove of gay relationships to CELEBRATE the ultimate gay sin -- A MOCK WEDDING. If he were more sensitive, as people were in the past, he would live his life quietly and privately and not confront everyone.
Decent human beings do not stand by silent while their loved ones make gigantic errors which threaten their physical and spiritual existance. They don't play along so's not to offend.
It may be the most important day of the man's life, true -- it is the day he formally, publically and shameless stood against God and his ways, and the ways of nature, and threw his soul into the toilet.
God help you sentimental boobs.
My decision was made.... I did not make this post looking for advise. I don't need and silly advise.
they have been together for at least 15 years already......maybe 20 years
The long and short of it is that I would go. You have accepted him as he is or you would not have invited him to your wedding, knowing he had a male partner. He would probably not fault you if you declined for whatever reason but it would be hard for you to live with that decision. While this has been an interesting thread it is incomplete without knowing how you arrived at your decision to go and what is your wifes take on all this?
I am not gay. I like boobs.....
I am not sure I have an opinion on the question stated in the original post, but I wanted to respond to your opinion. As a Christian I would not hesitate to go to the wedding of an adulterer, murderer, or thief under certain circumstances. These things have nothing to do with whether a mrriage is legitimate in the eyes of God. One can be the worst pagan on earth and his marriage is still acceptable to God. There is nothing in the Bible that says two non-Christians can't marry. Homosexual marriage, however, is something that is impossible, because God defined it differently.
You found the right answer at post #4.
I'm a man and said go.
He knows how I view gay marriage....and I am sure that he knows that I am not there to show any support for a gay marriage movement - he knows I will be there because he is my cousin. This reason is enough.
.My wife says that a Marriage should be between a man and woman --- and we pretty much agree that there is a place for civil unions. We're going together
"We cannot compromise on matters of morality. "
I don't know who "we" is, My post was to a guy and his close buddy, his cousin.
Ouch! That one hurt. Oh well there goes that argument, but one can always hope, eh?
All weddings are fantasies..
Marriage is about children, Gay lifestyle is about Sex..
Ceremony means nothing.. its a costume ball..
God invented marriage and watches over it..
Any commitment is blessed or not by God..
You can marry an Alligator and a Scorpion it means nothing..
God is not a Moron..
I have learned a lot of positive things from these responses. After reading them, I would say if it is a civil ceremony I would go, but if it is going to be a "religious" ceremony, I honestly don't know. That would be hard. Maybe I still would. But a civil ceremony would be far less of a problem for me. He did come to yours.
"Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??"
Yes. There are more important things in life than politics. Family is one of them.
Fortunately, I don't have any gays in the family, so I never will face the dilemma myself.
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