Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

What Would FReepers Do? A Question to the Forum.
RFace's Life ^ | 3.17.2007 | RFace

Posted on 03/17/2007 1:44:41 PM PDT by rface

I now know what I am going to do – But I am curious as to what other FReepers might do when faced with this situation.

What will I do?? (I know what I am going to do.)

I have a cousin whom I love, and with whom I am close. I grew up with this guy. We are both in our middle 40s. We both have gone through our teen-age years with some trouble along the way – and we both now hold good jobs. We both have done pretty well – in spite of our earlier attempts at self-destruction…..and in spite of some heavy burdens that life has thrown our way.

I was married a few months ago (my 2nd…and my last) and I invited my cousin and his “significant other” to our wedding. They flew in from Boston and my wife and I were very happy to have them here to be at our wedding.

I am very close to my cousin. I also like, and get along with, his “significant other”. My Cousin and I don’t see eye-to-eye on some things, but he did vote for Bush in 2000. And we agree on a lot of taxation and financial conservative views. He’s pretty much conservative-ish….sort of…(not that his politics has anything to do with this issue) ….except that he’s gay and he sent me a wedding invitation for me and my wife to come to the wedding in Massachusetts.

My Cousin knows where I stand on the Gay Marriage issue…. And my wife shares my view. Our views are not secretly held. We both think a Marriage is between a man and woman – but we both also think “civil unions” may be an option that Gay couples should be able to utilize.

The Question: Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: gay; gaymarriage; homosexualagenda; perverts; sendmyregrets; thanksbutno; theanswerisno
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 181-200201-220221-240 ... 341-355 next last
To: Gorzaloon

That's probably a good way of thinking about it. I'm not much into ceremonies. Most people are.

I'm not correct and neither are they. It's just one of those personal preference things.

Okay, actually I am right, but this one of those things I'm willing to be tolerant about...


201 posted on 03/17/2007 5:24:38 PM PDT by Dog Gone
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 197 | View Replies]

To: rface
"I am going"

Good!

sw

202 posted on 03/17/2007 5:31:34 PM PDT by spectre ((Spectre's wife))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 167 | View Replies]

To: rface
….except that he’s gay and he sent me a wedding invitation for me and my wife to come to the wedding in Massachusetts.

I wouldn't go, but I'd send a giant tube of Vaseline and some sand and glue soaked condoms as a wedding present.

203 posted on 03/17/2007 5:33:21 PM PDT by Centurion2000 (If you're not being shot at, it's not a high stress job.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: rface

Woo-hoo! Good for you! Compassionate, open-minded, accepting, and loving. Wish everyone had those attributes! Have a good time!


204 posted on 03/17/2007 5:56:54 PM PDT by toldyou
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 167 | View Replies]

To: Old_Mil

"No. One's presence at a wedding ceremony is tacit approval of it."

No way is attending someone's wedding showing approval.

I went to my niece's wedding. She's family.

She married a loser. I knew it before the wedding, but it wasn't my place to guide her since she had a mother and father and lives 1000 miles away. They married six years ago...she works two jobs and he's still lazy......


205 posted on 03/17/2007 6:09:44 PM PDT by toldyou
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 169 | View Replies]

To: rface
Of course. You go, be courteous, give your cousin your best wishes. What's to be gained by snubbing a family member with whom you have been close for years? You're not voting him onto the supreme court after all, or into congress.
206 posted on 03/17/2007 6:13:25 PM PDT by hinckley buzzard
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: rface

You can't attend a gay "wedding" or civil ceremony except as a celebrant (you're not being invited as an observer). And you can't celebrate something you know is wrong. You also cannot stand among the portion of society who recognizes this abomination, especiallly in such a way that they cannot distinguish what you think about it. A gentleman cannot protest a ceremony which he is attending, therefore, standing by silently is the equivalent of condoning it.

Your cousin is doing wrong. He put you in a difficult situation from the beginning and you already made your mistake: you and your wife knowingly (I presume) accepted him and his friend from the beginning as a couple in to your home.

If he had visited your family with his boyfriend, but treated him only as a friend, with no hint of a sexual or romantic relationship, you could have decently accepted them into your home socially. But what you did is really no different than, say, inviting your married cousin and his mistress to spend the weekend, knowing he was cheating on his wife.

Don't get trapped or baited by the "gay" issue here. It is an immoral sexual relationship which decent society does not accept. (In fact, the very definition of decent society is how it behaves in such situations.)

You and your wife must decline the wedding invitation. A polite person will not say why, explicitly; one does not decline a wedding invite with a reason -- just 'I regret I cannot attend'.

Because of your more intimate relationship with him, your cousin may ask you why. It is then you can, if you wish, explain why you cannot celebrate with him or recognize the relationship. Or, if he asks you why, you can say, "Because it would be impossible," and say nothing more.

You also have an obligation to love your cousin, and not treat him harshly. You must treat him with kindness and gentleness.

Keep in social contact with your cousin, but only by himself -- never as a couple (at least in your own home or in situations over which you have some control). If you really want to socialize in some way with the pair, bring them to a good church service where they can hear the gospel.

It is not likely this relationship will last. Now is the time to lay a better foundation so that later, when they break up, your cousin will know you still love him and you will have a friendship. Keep in contact with him singly.

And do not let your childhood or teenaqe years influence your adult relationship. You are now grown up. The past has no bearing on what is right and wrong for you to do now.


207 posted on 03/17/2007 6:18:50 PM PDT by Silly (plasticpie.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: djf
If you chose to go, you can always make it clear to him before that you're going NOT TO RECOGNIZE GAY MARRIAGE but SO THAT HE CAN REMEMBER YOU BEING THERE ON A SPECIAL DAY.

This is an untenable position. What is "special" about a sexually immoral public ceremony? You cannot have it both ways.

208 posted on 03/17/2007 6:21:45 PM PDT by Silly (plasticpie.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: Political Junkie Too
I would go. Family is the most important thing.

Another fallacious, sentiment-based decision. It is exactly the kind of thinking that homosexual activists have successfully fostered and preyed on for their tremendous success.

God is more important than family. Playing both sides on this issue by attending ceremonies shows one lacks integrity.

If we have to stand against our families in order to stand with God, we need to do so.

209 posted on 03/17/2007 6:25:09 PM PDT by Silly (plasticpie.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 50 | View Replies]

To: bubman
Go the reception NOT the wedding!

Again, more ridiculous thinking. The reception celebrates what just happened in the ceremony. One cannot celebrate something immoral.

No wonder the homosexual agenda has been so successful. People don't even think any more.

210 posted on 03/17/2007 6:27:30 PM PDT by Silly (plasticpie.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 51 | View Replies]

To: toldyou
"No. One's presence at a wedding ceremony is tacit approval of it."

It being the ceremony itself, not the resume of the person's future spouse.
211 posted on 03/17/2007 6:28:29 PM PDT by Old_Mil (Duncan Hunter in 2008! A Veteran, A Patriot, A Reagan Republican... http://www.gohunter08.com/)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 205 | View Replies]

To: rface

If you like perversion, go for it...

Myself, I would stay as far away as possible.


212 posted on 03/17/2007 6:29:05 PM PDT by Sir Francis Dashwood (LET'S ROLL!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Joe Miner
They came to your wedding; surely you are going to theirs?

Listen to the logic of your statement. You just equated their real wedding with the fake homosexual union.

One is not like the other. Reciprocity is not the issue.

213 posted on 03/17/2007 6:29:34 PM PDT by Silly (plasticpie.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 55 | View Replies]

To: ansel12
Working together, you two can figure out your boundaries, and figure out any compromises together.

We cannot compromise on matters of morality. All these compromises on our side are leading to the eventual complete embracing of homosexual marriage in our country. Bit by bit, we're moving there. By the next generation, there will be very few people who even understand there is a disagreement on this issue -- it will be accepted as 'consensus.'

214 posted on 03/17/2007 6:32:16 PM PDT by Silly (plasticpie.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 94 | View Replies]

To: hosepipe
NOT Going to the, whatever it is, makes no positive point whatever.. Going to it however makes no negative point..

The opposite is true, but this is not about making a point. It is about participating in an immoral celebration just so we don't step on toes. But if you want to make it about points: Not going makes the point one may not approve (even without stating an answer). Attending makes the affirmative point of participating in their mad little fantasy.

215 posted on 03/17/2007 6:36:17 PM PDT by Silly (plasticpie.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 58 | View Replies]

To: Old_Mil

"It being the ceremony itself, not the resume of the person's future spouse."

Has nothing to do with the resume. It has to do with the character, FRiend.


216 posted on 03/17/2007 6:38:02 PM PDT by toldyou
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 211 | View Replies]

To: toldyou

I can't believe this board. I guess FReepers have been duped by the homosexual agenda.

You can hardly equate calling your niece's intended 'a loser' with two men having sex and calling it marriage. What a dumb example.

And yes, attending a wedding is tacit approval. Except for people who don't have the integrity and courage to stand up for what they believe it.


217 posted on 03/17/2007 6:41:53 PM PDT by Silly (plasticpie.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 205 | View Replies]

To: toldyou
Don't you think there's a difference between having an opinion that someone is a loser - afterall, he may have some redeemable qualities you don't know about - and having a principled, religious belief that something is ALWAYS wrong?

I attended my best friend's wedding knowing that I disliked her husband, because although I believed I was very right about my opinion, it was still just my opinion. I could not have attended had she chosen to "marry" a woman, because I don't base my belief that homosexual marriage is wrong on "my opinion."

218 posted on 03/17/2007 6:42:55 PM PDT by Texas_shutterbug
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 205 | View Replies]

To: B-Chan

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith regret that they are unable to accept Mr. Jones' and Mr. Black's kind invitation for June 1." (formal)

"Dear cousin, thank you for the invitation to your June 1 event. My wife and I are, regrettably, unable to attend. Please stay in touch! And say hi to your friend Ted for us. Love, your cousin." (casual)

Nothing more needs to be said. The ceremony isn't even given a name.

Polite people do not decline invitations with a reason they can't attend. They just decline. Those doing the inviting must accept this, and cannot presume to suspect the reason, except that perhaps a previous engagement . This is what makes etiquette work. If they press the invitee for a reason, they are overstepping the bounds of propriety. Don't fall into these traps.


219 posted on 03/17/2007 6:53:29 PM PDT by Silly (plasticpie.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 163 | View Replies]

To: CaliGirlGodHelpMe
If he were straight and marrying a woman for money, or to get her a green card, or to get even with his ex, or for some other highly suspect reason, you'd still go, wouldn't you?

Except for the green card situation, which is illegal, these examples are comparing apples and oranges. This is not about not liking the partner, or being comfortable, or going along to get along. Suspecting someone is marrying for money is not the same thing has knowing he is marrying another man.

I can't believe this thread. FReepers are indistiguishable from leftists here.

220 posted on 03/17/2007 6:57:41 PM PDT by Silly (plasticpie.com)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 171 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 181-200201-220221-240 ... 341-355 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson