A similarity check: would you go to some rite of your cousin's where he would slaughter an animal for a sacrifice? 
Posted on 03/17/2007 1:44:41 PM PDT by rface
I now know what I am going to do – But I am curious as to what other FReepers might do when faced with this situation.
What will I do?? (I know what I am going to do.)
I have a cousin whom I love, and with whom I am close. I grew up with this guy. We are both in our middle 40s. We both have gone through our teen-age years with some trouble along the way – and we both now hold good jobs. We both have done pretty well – in spite of our earlier attempts at self-destruction…..and in spite of some heavy burdens that life has thrown our way.
I was married a few months ago (my 2nd…and my last) and I invited my cousin and his “significant other” to our wedding. They flew in from Boston and my wife and I were very happy to have them here to be at our wedding.
I am very close to my cousin. I also like, and get along with, his “significant other”. My Cousin and I don’t see eye-to-eye on some things, but he did vote for Bush in 2000. And we agree on a lot of taxation and financial conservative views. He’s pretty much conservative-ish….sort of…(not that his politics has anything to do with this issue) ….except that he’s gay and he sent me a wedding invitation for me and my wife to come to the wedding in Massachusetts.
My Cousin knows where I stand on the Gay Marriage issue…. And my wife shares my view. Our views are not secretly held. We both think a Marriage is between a man and woman – but we both also think “civil unions” may be an option that Gay couples should be able to utilize.
The Question: Would you go to a family members Gay Wedding under a situation like this??
I absolutely would not attend this "wedding". I would never want to show support for gay "marriage", even if it is family.
You should attend...but request that the 'wedding' falls in the middle of a good Red Sox V Yankees series at Fenway Park...
Ask yourself.
On the day of the wedding---
Will you be more upset being there or more upset sitting at home wishing you had gone?
djf has given you the best advice IMHO. You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family.
I might draw the line and NOT go... IF it were being done in a church. Personally, I could stomach "civil union"... but, not a church sanctioned ceremony.
A similarity check: would you go to some rite of your cousin's where he would slaughter an animal for a sacrifice?
Is reading comprehension your strong suit?
He asked for opinions not agreement.
An opinion is simply that. In no way a pressure to agree.
It's not what goes into a man that defiles him, rather what defiles a man is what comes from him.
Attending the wedding or any such environment isn't defiling, but how one responds to the situation which might be defiling.
If one remains in fellowship with God through faith in Christ in all things as we are commanded, then regardless the situation we may abide in His will.
We live in an age of grace, and if your friend is to return to God on God's grounds it must be between him and God through faith in Christ.
it's not going to be in a church.....(I don't think!)
Good for you. That would've been my decision. It may be a little awkward though. But blood is thick and you guys seem to be close. Family comes first.
You know, it's okay to use hyperbole.
It's "box o' rocks" stupid to then expound from that hyperbole.
You seem to like weddings. You've had two of your own. You should go.
but, the dogs were not marrying anyone.
I like being married to a woman who loves me, more than I like weddings......BUt I get your point
How would not going make his life and yours better? The day you draw your last breath, will you be glad that you didn't attend the wedding?
And even though he was good enough to attend your wedding and support your union, and you were happy to have him, you won't attend his union because it's different?
Good grief. Go to the wedding, and stop behaving like your life can be led without compromise and occasional sacrifice. Your cousin is entitled to the same quality of life you are, gay or not.
You really should go.
Actually, I feel the same way. My 40+ year good marriage started with a quickie JP ceremony and net assetts of $75.00. When I die, I hope an obscene spectacle is not made of my disposal.
The trouble is, a ceremony means a lot to some people, and if they are close or special, then I accept it as a payment for enjoying them.
Good on you! Family is more important than anything. You demonstrate your conservative values by attending this family function. Your presence may even sway opinions about conservatives among that particular crowd. The main thing is that you are there for your cousin regardless.
Skip the bachelor(s) party. That could get icky...
Let's say your cousin was straight and his wife was a native american and she wanted you to attend a rain dance. Would you stay away because you personally don't believe in rain dances?
Now that is a good point, because it shows that one can attend something out of politeness, or even interest, WITHOUT that presence being an endorsement.
Consider this: I really enjoy the Passover Seder,and have attended those of Jewish friends. Does this mean that by doing so, I totally reject the New testament, and my own religion? Of course not!
Likewise, does an attendance at a cultural festival such as a Portuguese Holy Ghost Society picnic with friends or neighbors suddenly change my allegiance to my culture and religion and country? Of course not.
If I attend a medieval festival and observe a Maypole dance, will I forever after have to endorse paganism? Now that's just silly.
Attending something not of one's culture or lifestyle does NOT always mean one endorses it.
"My Cousin knows where I stand on the Gay Marriage issue…. "
From the way you describe the relationship, he may have agonized over whether to invite you or not...whether it would discomfort you more to be invited or to not be invited.
In this case, you should have tried to determine what would discomfort your cousin least and do that if you can.
I wrote "in this case" because the path of "least discomfort" is not always the best path.
I wrote "you should have" because you wrote you know what you are going to do.
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