Should parents be forced to pay for college and living expenses after 18?

[RobRoy]

>>I guess you guys believe in personal responsability and all that old fashioned stuff. <<

I think that pretty much effectively squeezes the whole thing into one sentence. ;)

[mel]

Some kids would appreciate being helped with college, others would look at it like a meal ticket. That is more time to goof off.

[Myrddin]

The thing is that it basically becomes required because all the colleges factor in the PARENTS financial status in determining who gets into school and what kind of assistance they qualify for: grants v. loans.

My #2 son realized that parental income could be factored into his eligibility for grants/loans. His solution was to join the USMC and go out on his own at age 18. Problem solved. He's not my dependent. His eligibility for grants and loans is dependent on HIS income. The USMC did their part with veteran's benefits. My son also took out student loans. His ability to earn income in the real estate business quickly made it necessary to start repaying the student loans almost immediately.

The short answer is NO. You are a legal adult at age 18. You have no legal claim on your parents assets at that point. Mommy and daddy cease to have a legal obligation to support you or pay for your education.

My son has done exceptionally well. We did help cover books when his resources were stretched thin. We purchased a new set of tires for his car to keep him solvent. We also covered half the cost of a new pair of glasses for his birthday. Otherwise, he was fully responsible for his food, clothing, shelter and educational expenses.

I still have two sons living at home. One is 26. He's had 4 open heart surgeries. I'm not certain he'll ever be completely self sufficient, but he does go to work 5 days a week. The 19 year old is more a problem. He dropped out of school in 8th grade. He is capable of working, but the best he can get is minimum wage because he didn't finish high school. I could toss both of them on the street, but I would rather help them become self sufficient first.

[Andy'smom]

"My sister-in-law lives in Virginia, but her ex. lives in Mo. with the daughter."

Complicated. The legal fees could be buying another year of college.

[WV Mountain Mama]

You're right. :)

I knew some kids that just didn't care about college when they were there. I knew some kids who had the plan, never deviated from it and did well. My point was more that not all kids should go to college that are there. Some that were there would have done better if they had taken a year or two, found out what they liked and tried to pursue that (or just grow up). Some kids I knew were there to party. That is why parents should not be required to pay. imo, trade schools and community colleges are way overlooked.

Newt Gingrich did a show recently about universities, the just plain crazy debt kids are saddled with when they leave and is it worth it. Depending on the major and the amount of debt that will be incurred both need to be factored into the decision and a kid who doesn't care the cost and wants mom and dad to pay is very selfish.

[gogeo]

Could you share the logic in your position?

[GottaLuvAkitas1]

"After many years of being exposed to the inner workings at these private schools (many who's names you would recognize) my wife and I have agreed to pay for a state college tuition. Anything above that is on our kids.
If you are not going to med school, or becoming a specialist (engineer/architect, etc.) then the name of the school is almost irrelevent."

Thank you. A Liberal Arts degree does not need to come from a private college to shine or stink. You can get that education anywhere. The 1st 2 years is general studies anyway.

We told our kids we would pay, but they had to help. They have to have a job.

[freeperfromnj]

Are you serious? Gotta love this state.

[freeperfromnj]

My husband and I have told both of our girls that we will pop for the bachelor's degree, but after that, the college expenses are theirs.

My husband and I feel the same way. We are fortunate that we are in a position to do so. Also, he has to work summers and bank his money for part of his living expenses. Footing the bill for grad school is out of the question.

[television is just wrong]

when her mother died, she stole the entire inheritance from her sister as well. Some people are just now worth the air they take up.

we are fine as long as we keep her out of our lives.

thanks.

[GottaLuvAkitas1]

"Complicated. The legal fees could be buying another year of college."


Exactly. The fact of the matter is the mother was going to pay for 2 years of a junior college and then 1/2 of the other 2 years where ever the kid decided to go.

The daughter says no, I want 1/2 of a private college and you will pay my living expenses too because you owe me as your kid. She says she wants it all before her brother's and sister's get out of high school.

I almost fell out of my chair when I heard about this.

What makes it even more sad is that she might just get her way. The judge can say "yes sweetie make them squeal like a pig" or laugh the little darling out of court.

The attorney will be able to send his kid to college for a year off this case no doubt. What a world!

Oh, the daughter acts like this is normal. No one should think suing your parents is odd. She called me the other day to tell me what she would like to have for her birthday from her uncle and me; I told her to sue me for it.

[Lorianne]

Yes you do for the purposes of eliminating your parents from the equation when going for financial aid.

[CatoRenasci]

Part of the mental disconnect here may be that while Virginia has some decent community colleges, two first rate state universities (University of Virgina and William & Mary) and some excellent public colleges (Mary Washington, VMI, VPI), Missouri is not so blessed. I don't know anything about Missouri community colleges, but the only public university in Missouri with any national reputation is the University of Missouri, and it's not in the same league with Virginia or William & Mary). It's easy for people in states with good systems to say "spend 2 years in junior college" but in some states, that won't get you halfway through college when you have transfer. Maybe the girl got into Washington U in St. Louis, the only really top university in the state. Again, Missouri isn't full of private colleges the way Virginia is with Washington & Lee, Randoph-Macon, Sweetbriar, U of Richmond, etc., etc.

[ZoomZoom83]

Five yrs ago when I started researching colleges, I picked one of the very well-known colleges here and gave te brochure to my father. The next time I saw that brochure, the yearly tuition was highlighted. Wasn't sure if he was doing that for himself or subtlely trying to t tell me something. lol


I do not believe that a parent should "have" to pay for college and the living expenses. My parents helped me pay for school and a few scholarships helped with books. My parents put me through private school, so IMO, they were well within their right to cut me off and focus on my brother. Thank the Lord they didn't though.

The little private, out of state college that I did attend had many who from all appearances wasted their parents' money. One kid, whose mom is/was (not sure because I do not watch that network) a newscaster here got into so much trouble that for the semester and a half he WAS there, I would not be surprised if his parents made him pay them back.

My parents did not mind helping me, but I repaid them all four years by keeping good grades or improving in the one area I struggled with, extra curriculars (and tix to games lol), and of course, for not going away, losing control, and shaming them. My school also sent our transcripts home.

Although, if I could do it again, I probably would have stayed in-state and worked.

[Kaylee Frye]

Very interesting idea - I will have to keep that one in mind for 20 or so years down the line... :)

[Mamzelle]

Absolutely not, unless a divorced parent is trying to make the other parent pay all the bills.

[Andy'smom]

Did you really? "Sue me for it", ha! I'm puzzled about one thing? It sounds like she's expecting some kind of lump sum payment before she even starts college.

[Siouxz]

It's nice of you to do that for your daughter, but here's some food for thought. I went away to college at age 17 (1978)--Dad said he'd take care of all the bills, etc. I was to concentrate on my studies. I never saw a bill, never knew how much it was costing my parents. I flunked out after a year.

Fast forward a couple of years. Decided I wanted to go back to college. Dad had passed away, mom was not willing to shell out more $$ after the last fiasco. I paid for it myself and carried a 4.0 for 3 semesters till I got pregnant & put my education on hold.

Bottom line was, when none of it came out of my pocket, a college education had no value to me. BTW, I just put myself through nursing school and graduated this past June at the age of 45, second in my class.

[GottaLuvAkitas1]

"Did you really? "Sue me for it", ha! I'm puzzled about one thing? It sounds like she's expecting some kind of lump sum payment before she even starts college."

I sure did say it. She may get by with acting like that in her house, but not even my husband would get by with acting like that in mine. LOL

I think if the judge rules for her both parents will have to put money ina trust or something and then more as exspenses arise. The whole thing sounds crazy to me, but I guess that's what our country is comeing to. A judge can tell people how to spend their money and if 4 other kids get to have new shoes this fall. LOL

[P-Marlowe]

The fact is that you do better in college when you are paying for it yourself. You also tend to get a little irritated when you are working your way through school and paying for lazy, ignorant and stupid teachers who don't qualify to take the course, much less teach it.