Posted on 02/13/2007 10:08:57 AM PST by GottaLuvAkitas1
The question is college , not child support.
After the age of 18 should a parent/parents be responsible for college and living expenses?
When did college become a right and not a privilege?
I didn't clarify very well. When I say love is a decision, what I mean by that is that we literally do choose to love. Everyone. EVERYONE is loveable or hateable. When we marry someone, we make a committment, until death we do part, to love that person. That means be "on their side" and be one flesh with them in every other way. IOW, love is also an action, not a feeling.
My wife is 53 and I "love" her more than ever. If I was watching every wrinkle increase and noticing the babes on Baywatch, etc. I may have "fallen out of love" with her. As it is, the wrinkles are literally part of what make her beautiful. It is what gives her personality. It is what makes her the woman I love.
Love is a decision. If you don't love your spouse, you have nobody to blame but yourself, no matter how much of a "jerk" you think your spouse is. I am speaking generically, not about "you" specifically. ;)
That is true, but there are some people who are still trying to decide that at 35.
I will remember that move.
I actually see it as a very simple, and black and white issue that can be answered by a few questions. It is very basic to me:
1. At age 18, is the "child" an adult or a minor?
2. Who is responsible for the education of an adult?
Answers:
1. The "child" is an adult.
2. Adults are responsible for their own education.
Now, it is peachy if an 18 year old has parents that can or desire to pay all or part of your education into adulthood, but it is certainly no right that I am aware of, even if their parents are filthy stinking rich. And it is DEFINITELY none of the governments business - at least in a "free" society it isn't.
Wow.. that's a bit condescending, don't you think?
There are tons of loving parents out there that would love to pay for an education but can't. Then, there are those that won't waste a dime on junior because he's not motivated to follow through....and I can't say I blame them one bit. Sometimes it takes a few years for the "wild child" to settle down... and take education seriously. (Or when they figure out flipping burgers doesn't pay for dating AND rent) If they're interested later....then help defray the costs.
You're sure right about that. We said we'd pay, by semester, as long as daughter's grades were good and she chose quality classes. Sure enough, when she got D's in Basket Weaving 101 and The Social Advantages of Lesbian Wombats (or whatever), we stopped handing out freebies. She was out on her own for a few months, got a good job, went back to college, and now has a Master's degree and loans she is paying off. And still loves us.
If a child is under the age of 25 and is seeking loans from Uncle Sam, he is required to provide his parent's financial information absent some unusual circumstances for kids that age.
https://studentaid.ed.gov/students/attachments/funding/DependencyStatus.pdf
Unfortunately, this can be a real burden for students that are estranged from their parents or otherwise do not have a good relationship. Around a year ago, I was asked to try and get a waiver from a university on behalf of a student who was considered dependent but was estranged from her parents. It was a very difficult situation.
might be, but it is true. She called me just amazed.
Wow, there was something wrong at that school. I have been back to school several times and never been asked for my parents information since I am a self-sustaining adult.
Anyone in the 18-22 age bracket should not have to go through that.
my parents, had me paying rent at home with my babysitting money, then when I started working, my mother would take my checks and cash them, then lie to me and tell me they never arrived.
Needless to say, I had the check thing happen twice, once, then another time while they were invetigating what happened to the first check.
At the age of 18, I moved out, my mother stole the money out of my car that I had locked in ther to pay for the rest of the deposit on my apartment. With a whopping 65.00 left to my name, I pulled that out to finish paying for my apartment.
My boss gave me the two check copies, I went to the police department. They told me I could file charges against her, but I'd have to take it seriously that I could not go back after I started.
I didn't. To this day, I regret not doing so. My mother divorced my father, managed to also steal thousands of dollars from all of her children through one child, and told us we were not worth receiving our inheritance.
3 years of probate court, $50,000.00 in attorney fees, and then she tried to have my son arrested for claiming he kicked in her screen door 2 weeks before he graduated. I was asked by my town police department to never have contact with her again.
I haven't spoke to her since.
That was my parents love. My father was a spineless man, and my mother was a thief and a liar. I have moved on, and my husband and children are great.
WE are paying my childrens way through college, and I paid my way through college.
And as for my mother she can go pound salt.
My point was... parents can't be forced to sign anything for a kid over 18. They can do so willingly. I do understand about difficult circumstances. I had to pay for nursing school while working and raising 2 kids. My parent's couldn't afford it when I was young....so it was never offered to me, nor were other options explained. (I don't even know if they had any back then) I didn't resent it or feel unloved...I just did what was necessary.
"Now, it is peachy if an 18 year old has parents that can or desire to pay all or part of your education into adulthood, but it is certainly no right that I am aware of, even if their parents are filthy stinking rich. And it is DEFINITELY none of the governments business - at least in a "free" society it isn't."
I guess you guys believe in personal responsability and all that old fashioned stuff. LOL
Anyway, I agree with you guys 100%
Indeed. We had to threaten to stop paying over a class my daughter wanted to take once. Unfortunately, for her school spring semester registration requires tuition to be paid before you can register. This semester, her last semester, she's taking a course both my wife and I heartily disapprove of, and has refused to change. With the comprehensive fee paid and her graduation coming, we have little leverage. We did get the college to change the name of the course to limit the transcript damage, but we're not happy. And she's not happy. Her decision is costing her significantly in that we won't pay off the limited loans she took out for school and we have decided not to co-invest with her on an apartment.
Yikes, sorry to hear about your situation about you mother. That is really messed up.
I wish you and your family all the best.
You "Decide" to love.
Love is a decision.
I apply this definition:
1. the act or process of deciding; determination, as of a question or doubt, by making a judgment: They must make a decision between these two contestants.
2. the act of or need for making up one's mind: This is a difficult decision.
3. something that is decided; resolution: He made a poor decision.
Since when did College have to be a $50,000 a year proposition. Just about anyone who has been to college will tell you that the quality of the education is more dependent on the student than it is the institution.
I work with many different colleges in my business. I am continually stunned that the students at these expensive schools cannot put together a sentence. It is scary.
After many years of being exposed to the inner workings at these private schools (many who's names you would recognize) my wife and I have agreed to pay for a state college tuition. Anything above that is on our kids.
If you are not going to med school, or becoming a specialist (engineer/architect, etc.) then the name of the school is almost irrelevent.
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