Posted on 02/13/2007 10:08:57 AM PST by GottaLuvAkitas1
The question is college , not child support.
After the age of 18 should a parent/parents be responsible for college and living expenses?
When did college become a right and not a privilege?
We're fortunate that the graduating senior had landed a full-time post graduation job before Christmas, in a program that sends her to Dartmouth for the summer Business Bridge program and pays for her MBA after 3 years.
What state is this?
Some kids could do well with being out on their own a couple of years after high school. There is absolutely no law that says you have to go to college directly out of high school. Personally, a year or so working can really mature someone I think.
Age of majoity is 18. Parents ability to pay should not be a factor.
When I was going to college in California in the middle Sixties the fee at state schools was 50 bucks a semester.Junior college was totally free.And If you lived at home,all you really needed was a part time job for books,gas money and miscellaneous items.
Now it would be very difficult to be self supporting and go to school full time since most undergraduates would qualify only for minimum wage serice jobs.
Agreed.
2 years community school living at home.
2-3 years at a public university living in a dorm.
Whether this is reasonable or not may depend on where you are in the country: some states have first rate community colleges and first rate public universities -- California comes to mind -- while others have very limited (and not so cheap) community colleges and mediocre state universities (no names), but many excellent private colleges and universities. In some states, again, California comes to mind, it's relatively easy (with a strong record) to transfer from a community college to the flagship university (e.g. University of California, just not Berkeley or UCLA anymore). In other states, most of your community college credits won't transfer and it's rare to transfer from a community college to a flagship public university.
Connecticut is an example of a state with limited community colleges, fourth-to-third rate state colleges, and a barely second tier flagship state university, but excellent private colleges (Wesleyan, Trinity, Connecticut College) and universities (Yale). The vast majority of high school graduates in even middle to upper middle class high schools in Connecticut go to private universities, colleges, or, if they go to public universities, out-of-state flagship universities (e.g. University of California, University of Michigan, University of Virginia, University of Wisconsin).
I didn't say it never happens, I said it is seldom the case.
Sometimes it has MUCH more to do with what is affordable, what is reasonable, and the extent to which the child belongs in college than whether or not you love them.
I never understood the amount the university expected parents to give for their kids education. It seemed like they expected 20-30% of gross income. I guess they expected the family to only live on Mac and Cheese while their kid is in college.
I hear what you are saying but living expenses were much lower. About that time I was working and paying my way thru Jr. College.
Interesting discussion, but parents should not be forced to pay for their children's education. We're assisting our daughter (she's a soph at U. of N. Texas), and we'll assist our oldest son when he graduates from HS in May.
However, my wife and I are not going to foot the entire bill for them. We love them dearly, but as adults (however young they may be) they need to bear part of the burden.
Our perspective comes from our own experiences: our parents shouldered no financial burden for our college educations. I paid for mine through an ROTC scholarship (BBA) and GI Bill (MA); my better half worked her way through six years of college. Our parents provided important moral and physical support (i.e. lodging).
Great discussion, though. Each side has its merits. Certainly not a "one size fits all" subject.
we have helped our kids with college, even though we insisted they take out loans so they have some ownership in what they are doing (or not doing!)
of course, we didn't subcumb to the parents loan trap that they keep trying to sell us.....we pay certain expenses and then we give money each month to help defray living expenses.....
why do we do it?...
to give them a handup in life.....to help them get started....because they couldn't get thru college unless someone helped with the expenses.....
people of middle age or older need to know that today's young people are going to need more finacial help then we did....they are saddled with high taxation and an illogical and discriminatory work place and we older people are just going have to help them more....
Or help them decide what they like and want to pursue. My husband and I talked about this last night and today.
The child go to court and can get a document of emmancipation from the parents to avoid all that and then apply for financial aid on his/her own behalf.
I did this.
We were very clear with our kids that we would pay for a top college or university at the going rate, but that if their academic records would not get them into colleges we thought were sufficiently good, they would have to go to our state's quite mediocre flagship university. We actually had to go so far with one as to make her apply and deposit at the state university, so that if her behavior for the balance of her senior year was not acceptable, she would not be going to the private college she wanted to. Not nice, but it worked.
At the minimum be ready to send them to a trade school. you want your kids to do better than you did.
No one over 18yrs old and living on their own ...is forced to put their parent's name on any legal document. If they're still living at home....it would probably be cheaper to get Jr. an apartment... then let him glean the grant money, which doesn't have to be repaid.
"What state is this?"
My sister-in-law lives in Virginia, but her ex. lives in Mo. with the daughter.
The mother raised the child for 6 years after the divorce, and the father this past year. All expenses were split so no child support was ordered.
I feel sorry for everyone involved, but less for my niece. Both parents will do everything they can, but this kid wants to get what she can get now. Sad very sad.
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