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My Father Was an Anonymous Sperm Donor
Washington Post ^ | 17 December 2006 | Katrina Clark

Posted on 12/18/2006 5:26:26 AM PST by shrinkermd

...I'm 18, and for most of my life, I haven't known half my origins...

...That part came from my father. The only thing was, I had never met him, never heard any stories about him, never seen a picture of him. I didn't know his name. My mother never talked about him -- because she didn't have a clue who he was.

When she was 32, my mother -- single, and worried that she might never marry and have a family -- allowed a doctor wearing rubber gloves to inject a syringe of sperm from an unknown man into her uterus so that she could have a baby. I am the result: a donor-conceived child....

...I was angry at the idea that where donor conception is concerned, everyone focuses on the "parents" -- the adults who can make choices about their own lives. The recipient gets sympathy for wanting to have a child. The donor gets a guarantee of anonymity and absolution from any responsibility for the offspring of his "donation." As long as these adults are happy, then donor conception is a success, right?

Not so. The children born of these transactions are people, too. Those of us in the first documented generation of donor babies -- conceived in the late 1980s and early '90s, when sperm banks became more common and donor insemination began to flourish.. I'm here to tell you that emotionally, many of us are not keeping up. We didn't ask to be born into this situation, with its limitations and confusion. It's hypocritical of parents and medical professionals to assume that biological roots won't matter to the "products" of the cryobanks' service, when the longing for a biological relationship is what brings customers to the banks in the first place.

(Excerpt) Read more at washingtonpost.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Unclassified
KEYWORDS: father; liberalagenda; moralabsolutes; search; spermdonor
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To: <1/1,000,000th%

Why has no one answered my ad!

I've offered to be a surrogate father!


81 posted on 12/18/2006 8:38:28 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going....)
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To: Ditter

I don't call encouraging single parents to deliberately create kids to satisfy their own needs a kind act. As you obviously know, there are already plenty of children out there who need good homes and have had to deal with absent parents.

Each child will react differently, but it was hard on my sister, and it appears from the article it was hard on this young lady.

Ad


82 posted on 12/18/2006 8:42:24 AM PST by bordergal (There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men bad enough for this treachery)
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To: Elsie

LOL!!

There were some scientists who merged two female eggs to form a viable embryo. I don't remember the species.


83 posted on 12/18/2006 8:44:27 AM PST by <1/1,000,000th%
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To: bordergal

I didn't realize I was encouraging single women to do this, I was just encouraging kids with only one parent (for whatever reason)to suck it up and appreciate the fact that they had one person to love them. There are plenty of children who no one loves.


84 posted on 12/18/2006 8:52:52 AM PST by Ditter
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To: Elsie
What if we did ask to be born ?

And even chose the circumstances ?

It's an interesting idea to consider.

85 posted on 12/18/2006 8:53:03 AM PST by Red Boots
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To: dawn53

From their website....

Gallaudet University leads the world in undergraduate liberal arts education, career development, and outstanding graduate programs for deaf, hard-of-hearing, and hearing students. The University also enjoys international renown for its research on the history, language, and culture of deaf people.


86 posted on 12/18/2006 9:07:42 AM PST by Jaded ("I have a mustard- seed; and I am not afraid to use it."- Joseph Ratzinger)
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To: Ditter

OK, then I misunderstood your post. Mea Culpa. :)


87 posted on 12/18/2006 9:24:19 AM PST by bordergal (There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men bad enough for this treachery)
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To: bordergal

;0) Merry Christmas!


88 posted on 12/18/2006 9:37:38 AM PST by Ditter
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To: shrinkermd
A former co-worker just visited us and left a box of Christmas candy she had made. She has only one arm -- the other was amputated due to cancer. She will probably lose the other one shortly. She is a widow whose only daughter must work to survive. This writer needs to become familiar with real tragedy.

Carolyn

89 posted on 12/18/2006 9:38:36 AM PST by CDHart ("It's too late to work within the system and too early to shoot the b@#$%^&s."--Claire Wolfe)
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To: Ditter

"How is this any different from adoption where nothing is known about either parent?"

Well, going by the tone of the letter, he probably had an intelligent biological father, for one, instead of a drug addict or equivalent, as they are fairly carefully screened at reputable clinics (exceptions abound, however).

He also presumably had a mother who took very good care of herself while pregant, given that she wanted the child and did this on purpose and was free of relevant diseases at the point of coneception (otherwise she'd have been refused the treatment).

Oh, wait, these are good things.


90 posted on 12/18/2006 9:38:39 AM PST by MeanWestTexan (Kol Hakavod Lezahal)
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To: shrinkermd

Excellent.


91 posted on 12/18/2006 9:54:34 AM PST by Lorianne
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To: wagglebee

Thanks for the ping, will check out the rest of the article later.

Pretty amazing how many jerks there are on FR lately (no pun intended...)

I guess they think that morality and conscience are not only not necessary for human civilization, but a handicap.


92 posted on 12/18/2006 9:56:45 AM PST by little jeremiah (C.S. says I'm a scarey little control freak!)
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To: silverleaf
Come on. She's not asking for subsidies. She's not asking for penalties. She's not, as far as I can see, asking for anything except the chance to explain that a girl needs a father.

For that, she's the target of your contempt.

Her point is that people don't hav emuch respect for children's needs. Some of our posters amply prove it.

93 posted on 12/18/2006 10:21:32 AM PST by Mrs. Don-o (Since you asked.)
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To: Ditter; higgmeister
"How is this any different from adoption where nothing is known about either parent?"

It's similar in some ways. An adopted child can long to know who his parents were.

But it's different in that adoption is usually a compassionate response to a sad fait accompli -- an existing child whose parentless situation is an acknowledged tragedy. And the adoptive parents are attempting, to the best of their ability, to supply what the child needs to thrive.

But in this case, the child was brought into existence into deliberate, intentional, designed fatherlessness. She was begotten via a commercial transaction to satisfy her mother's desires. From the git-go, the adult's wants were more important than the child's needs.

This is what makes it different.

This is what makes it wrong.

94 posted on 12/18/2006 10:39:03 AM PST by Mrs. Don-o (Since you asked.)
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To: Ditter

Nobody is purposely getting pregnant in order to put their child up for adoption.


95 posted on 12/18/2006 10:39:29 AM PST by CharlesWayneCT
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To: OldFriend
"She has a chance to be anything she sets her mind to.....instead she whines and laments.

She's not just whining and lamenting. She's a college studnent who's studying, writing, working out a constructive relationship with her mother and father, and getting on with her life. She shows ever sign of balance, thoughtfulness, and maturity for a person of her age and background.

Think it through from her point of view.

96 posted on 12/18/2006 10:46:37 AM PST by Mrs. Don-o (Since you asked.)
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To: Red Badger

So will Mary Cheney's kid...


97 posted on 12/18/2006 10:48:38 AM PST by streetpreacher (What if you're wrong?)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Sarcasm>

Mr. President?


98 posted on 12/18/2006 10:49:48 AM PST by streetpreacher (What if you're wrong?)
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To: streetpreacher
Was the child conceived thru artificial insemination.........
99 posted on 12/18/2006 10:50:27 AM PST by Red Badger (New! HeadOn Hemorrhoid Medication for Liberals!.........Apply directly to forehead.........)
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To: Lovebloggers; maica
Nobody is wishing her out of existence. Children are conceived every day in ways that are an insult to human dignity --- through seduction, adultery, rape, prostitution, sperm-vendor, IVF, what-have-you --- and every one of them has a right to go on living, to be nurtured, to be valued.

Every human life has a sacred dignity from the moment of conception; but some methods of conception are intrinsically de-dignifying; through the parents' mishap, fault, or failing, they fall short of what a human child has a right to.

We can welcome all babies, without saying that depersonalized actions ---- promiscuous sex, adultery, rape, prostitution, sperm-vendor, IVF --- are OK because they sometimes produce babies. To flourish whole-heartedly, a child needs a Mom and a Dad who are married and who love their child and each other. How radical is that?

Some babies are fatherless by chance. No babies should be fatherless by choice.

100 posted on 12/18/2006 10:56:54 AM PST by Mrs. Don-o (Since you asked.)
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