[Mrs. Don-o]

"How is this any different from adoption where nothing is known about either parent?"

It's similar in some ways. An adopted child can long to know who his parents were.

But it's different in that adoption is usually a compassionate response to a sad fait accompli -- an existing child whose parentless situation is an acknowledged tragedy. And the adoptive parents are attempting, to the best of their ability, to supply what the child needs to thrive.

But in this case, the child was brought into existence into deliberate, intentional, designed fatherlessness. She was begotten via a commercial transaction to satisfy her mother's desires. From the git-go, the adult's wants were more important than the child's needs.

This is what makes it different.

This is what makes it wrong.

[Ditter]

I am not focusing on the mother and whether she was right or wrong. I am not saying that it is right to deliberately bring a father less child into the world, I am saying that the child (now adult) should be grateful that she had a mother who wanted to have a child bad enough to do this. If she had adopted a child by her self would it have been better?

My husband and I wanted children bad enough to go to the trouble, emotional stress and money to search out and adopt three children. We didn't do it because we happened onto 3 children in need, we did it because of our need to have a family. That's why this woman did it, why she could not or would not do it the right way, with a husband, I don't know.

[higgmeister]

I'm here to tell you that emotionally, many of us are not keeping up.

That tells me the person has lapsed into victim-hood. It is only in modern times that people had the luxury to think of the circumstances beyond their control. "Oliver Twist" was a good story because, as an exception to the norm, he found family in the end.

Poor me, poor me doesn't put food on the table or bolster the fortitude needed to survive.

[Albion Wilde]

Great post.

[little jeremiah]

I've read that children raised by widows do better than those raised by single mothers where the father is merely absent.

Children with deceased fathers know that their father is gone not because he doesn't care but because he CAN'T be there.

It makes a lot of difference.