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Carnal Knowledge (Man has sex with deer - outstanding lawyer comes up with excellent defense)
The Wall Street Journal ^
| November 17, 2006
| James Taranto
Posted on 11/17/2006 1:48:28 PM PST by Zakeet
A Minnesota man is charged with having his way with a deer, but he claims it was just venison, the Superior Daily Telegram reports:
Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.
A motion filed last week by his attorney, public defender Fredric Anderson, argued that because the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed.
The Smoking Gun has Hathaway's mug shot and a copy of the complaint, which states:
Defining animal to include carcasses would lead to absurd results. At what point of decompose would the carcass cease being an animal? Would picked-over skeletal remains still meet the definition? At death, an animal ceases to be an animal. As Billy Crystal noted in The Princess Bride (1987), "There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead."
The Telegram quotes Judge Michael Lucci, who is considering the motion: "Im a little surprised this issue hasnt been tackled before in another case." Yeah, we're sure this sort of thing comes up all the time up there.
(Excerpt) Read more at opinionjournal.com ...
TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; US: Minnesota
KEYWORDS: bryanhathaway; bryanjameshathaway; deer; fredricanderson; michaellucci; moralabsolutes; notgonnapingit; perversion; princessbride; sex
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Enjoy.
1
posted on
11/17/2006 1:48:30 PM PST
by
Zakeet
To: Zakeet
Yep, It was just venison
Shoot the disgusting bastard anyway
2
posted on
11/17/2006 1:50:43 PM PST
by
muir_redwoods
(Free Sirhan Sirhan, after all, the bastard who killed Mary Jo Kopechne is walking around free)
To: Zakeet
A motion filed last week by his attorney, public defender Fredric Anderson, argued that because the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed. Gotta love the mind of a lawyer.
"Your honor, my client is not into bestiality. He is simply an innocent necrophiliac."
3
posted on
11/17/2006 1:51:01 PM PST
by
atomicpossum
(Replies must follow approved guidelines or you will be kill-filed without appeal.)
To: Zakeet
Where's the goats....that's the animal of choice in the Middle East I hear....
To: Zakeet
5
posted on
11/17/2006 1:51:05 PM PST
by
usmcobra
(I sing Karaoke the way it was meant to be sung, drunk, badly and in Japanese, that why I don't sing.)
To: Zakeet
In other words, Just another piece of meat. Oh yeah, that's going to win him some converts.
6
posted on
11/17/2006 1:51:11 PM PST
by
gov_bean_ counter
( I am sitting under my cone of silence, inside a copper wire cage wearing a tin foil hat...)
To: Zakeet
His mother must be so proud...
7
posted on
11/17/2006 1:51:16 PM PST
by
LongElegantLegs
(...a urethral syringe used to treat syphilis with mercury.)
To: Zakeet
He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.This is one case where I support "mercy killing." This guy should be put out of his misery. (Likely, his family won't really mind.)
8
posted on
11/17/2006 1:52:05 PM PST
by
Onelifetogive
(* I'm not a ethicist, but I play one on the Internet!)
To: Zakeet
Hey everyone -- this guy was from WISCONSIN. Not Minnesota.
9
posted on
11/17/2006 1:52:18 PM PST
by
Parmenio
To: muir_redwoods
Yep, It was just venison Shoot the disgusting bastard anywayMan Law
10
posted on
11/17/2006 1:53:20 PM PST
by
unspun
(What do you think? Please think, before you answer.)
To: Zakeet
Now he's done it. According to Al Sistani he should not sell that venison to his neighbor, assuming he climaxed. If he did not climax, Sistani sez it's okie dokie to sell the meat. Those guys have an answer for everything.
If Islam was a western religion it would be headed by Anne Landers. That's all ole Sistani is.
11
posted on
11/17/2006 1:53:39 PM PST
by
kinghorse
(If Islam was western it would be headed by Anne Landers cuz they got an answer for everything)
To: Zakeet
They actually quoted a mytical character from a fantasy Hollywood movie in a legal filing. OK, then.
12
posted on
11/17/2006 1:53:40 PM PST
by
L98Fiero
(Terrorists, Communists and Liberals. All happy with a Democrat Congress)
To: Zakeet
He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11. This guy has already sold the movie rights to his story. It's gonna be called Brokebuck Mountain.
13
posted on
11/17/2006 1:54:05 PM PST
by
dirtboy
(Objects in tagline are closer than they appear)
To: dirtboy
14
posted on
11/17/2006 1:54:47 PM PST
by
kinghorse
(If Islam was western it would be headed by Anne Landers cuz they got an answer for everything)
To: Zakeet
Let me guess, he fell head over heels for her doe eyes.
15
posted on
11/17/2006 1:54:47 PM PST
by
N. Theknow
((Kennedys - Can't drive, can't fly, can't ski, can't skipper a boat - But they know what's best.))
To: Zakeet
Bryan James Hathaway, 20, of Superior faces a misdemeanor charge of sexual gratification with an animal. He is accused of having sex with a dead deer he saw beside Stinson Avenue on Oct. 11.
Whatever a man chooses to do with a dead deer in the privacy of his home is his business. If he chooses to perform sex acts on a deer carcass on a public street, he should be locked up for public indecency.
To: Zakeet
It's hard to resist a nice rack...
17
posted on
11/17/2006 1:56:01 PM PST
by
Joe 6-pack
(Voted Free Republic's Most Eligible Bachelor: 2006)
To: Zakeet
18
posted on
11/17/2006 1:56:18 PM PST
by
sageb1
(This is the Final Crusade. There are only 2 sides. Pick one.)
To: N. Theknow
The man was quoted as saying, "You look drop dead gorgeous my deer."
19
posted on
11/17/2006 1:56:35 PM PST
by
N. Theknow
((Kennedys - Can't drive, can't fly, can't ski, can't skipper a boat - But they know what's best.))
To: dirtboy
20
posted on
11/17/2006 1:58:29 PM PST
by
lafroste
(gravity is not a force. See my profile to read my novel absolutely free (I know, beyond shameless))
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