Posted on 09/11/2006 10:39:33 AM PDT by FreeManDC
Wondering about that muffled howl you’ve been hearing the last couple weeks? It’s the sound and fury of feminists reacting to Michael Noer’s latest exegesis, Don’t Marry a Career Woman.
Noer’s column, which ran at Forbes.com, surveyed marriages in which the wives doggedly pursue a high-powered career, all the while neglecting family and home. The research shows these women are more likely to be unhappy if she earns more than the guy, or if she quits her job and stays home. Either way, she’s going to be a grump.
Her husband is more prone to be discontented if she is the primary breadwinner. The house is going to be dirtier. In the end, she is more apt to cheat on him and the marriage will fall apart. [www.forbes.com/2006/08/23/Marriage-Careers-Divorce_cx_mn_land.html]
Of course, these findings don’t apply to every ambitious woman who has risen to the top of her field – but the connection is true in many cases.
In practically every woman’s magazine, you’ll find advice columns to help the reader find Mr. Right and then entice her football-addled boyfriend to commit for the long-haul.
But when a male columnist dispenses relationship advice for men, that appears to be strictly verboten — at least according to the Shrieking Sisters of Silliness who cut loose on Mr. Noer.
On Good Morning America, one Rutgers U. prof claimed to be absolutely shocked: “I’m surprised that the man thinks it. I’m astonished that he wrote it. And I’m astonished that anyone published it, particularly Forbes.” (No word whether MIT professor Nancy Hopkins swooned at the news.)
Forbes hastily arranged for reporter Elizabeth Corcoran to pen a response sporting the acid title, “Don’t Marry a Lazy Man.” Describing Noer’s factual article as “frightening,” she dispensed this condescending advice about men: “If he can pick up new ideas faster than your puppy, you’ve got a winner.”
Needless to say, Ms. Corcoran’s screed only reinforced the worst stereotypes of the “I-know-what-I-want-and-I-know-how-to-get-it” career woman portrayed in Noer’s column.
Thereupon the readers jumped into the fray, all recounting their grudges about members of the opposite sex. A pretty picture it was not, but the debate is long-overdue: http://forums.forbes.com/forbes/board?board.id=respond_marry_career_woman and http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1688730/posts .
Part of the ladies’ discomfiture with Mr. Noer’s article springs from the fact that for the last 30 years, discussions about women in the workforce have been guided by the unspoken rule, “Men’s Opinions Don’t Count.”
But then women’s one-sided conversations lapsed into over-wrought declamations about men who didn’t pitch in around the house, forgetting that that men often put in longer hours on the job, commute longer distances, and do physical labor that leaves them exhausted.
Doesn’t mowing the grass, killing creepy-crawlers that traipse through the kitchen, clearing leaves out of the gutter, and coaching Little League count for anything?
And let’s not forget the old axiom that rights and responsibilities go hand-in-hand. If women are demanding more rights, then what additional duties – like compulsory registration for the draft — are they going to shoulder?
Ironically, the same day that Michael Noer published his op-ed, columnist Nancy Levant came out with a fem-ripper called The Cultural Devastation of Women. [www.newswithviews.com/Levant/nancy55.htm]
Levant deplored the fact that thanks to the libbers, American women “now hire maid services, landscapers, pool cleaners, painters, interior decorators. . . .while losing every intuitive aspect of our female natures.” In the process, women “use men like ATMs” and “bankrupt multiple men with mandatory child support payments.”
One can only imagine the hullabaloo if Mrs. Levant had uttered such heresy at Forbes.
So what’s a career woman to do? For a moment, let’s can the feminist ideology and take stock of that rare commodity, common sense.
Have you ever seen a woman (or man, for that matter) exclaim at death’s door, “I only wish that I could have spent more time in the office”? Neither have I.
It’s no secret that the most rewarding parts of a person’s life revolve around relationships with spouses, children, and other family. So why are career women driven to dismember those connections that give the most meaning to their lives?
It’s true that women find satisfaction and fulfillment from paid work. And some have no choice but to get a full-time job.
But the reality is, wives’ happiness is not tied to living out of a suitcase or having an equal paycheck with their husbands. Indeed, the opposite is true. When husbands are the primary wage earners, wives have more freedom to pursue their own interests.
So Mr. Noer, lick off those wounds, straighten up that tie, and sharpen your pencil. Get ready for Round Two.
a man making 100K would not be able to support a wife and 3 kids unless they live very simply which many people are un-willing to do now a days.
Bull.
That entire statement is disgusting. Not only is it not true, but if you choose material goods over the well being of your children, then you should not have kids.
"Sorry, son, I'd love to be home when you come home from school, but I really like driving my sports car. Sorry!"
He said he didn't want to be in....combat. Nothing wrong with that!
No healthy person wants to be in a combative or emotionally competitive relationship, I don't believe.
See, and this is what the 2nd income gets used for. Men know the proper way to spend disposable income... motorcycles, gambling and boob bars. ;)
Don't forget the woman in your equation. You will get what you give. Don't forget that women will also want what they deserve, too. Just make sure you each are what you want.
So make some sacrifices.
What the hell is wrong with people?
I know I keep picking your post to make a larger statement. Please accept my apologies. For some reason the stuff you write on this subject makes me think of larger points. For instance, you mentioned the husband and wife making the best choices for their children which I agree with.
Yet this reminded me of another thing that is happening in our society that is just so-o wrong and off course. That is all the parents that make their children their God. The children in my opinion and the bible's are made to be taught submission to God. This lesson and its loving/righteous role modeling should be the first and only role for the parent. It is easy to say, my not having kids and all, but my Christian friends that do live in this way are just amazing people and their children incredible. Not perfect mind you, but still inspiring to watch.
I believe (and the bible states) this is the vision for how parents should go about raising their children. It holds everyone accountable for their actions and their day to day living and commitment to Christ/God. Hopefully these responsibilities make us better servants of God, not slaves to our children.
In the end it is the quality of the man or the woman and their commitment to each other.
I would be really lost without my wife.
Huh?
Wives and Lovers
(Burt Bacharach & Hal David)
Hey! Little Girl
Comb your hair, fix your makeup
Soon he will open the door
Don't think because there's a ring on your finger
You needn't try anymore
For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
I'm warning you...
Day after day
There are girls at the office
And men will always be men
Don't send him off with your hair still in curlers
You may not see him again
For wives should always be lovers too
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you
He's almost here...
Hey! Little girl
Better wear something pretty
Something you'd wear to go to the city and
Dim all the lights, pour the wine, start the music
Time to get ready for love
Time to get ready
Time to get ready for love
I've both worked and been a stay at home Mom and was able to keep my family happy and well taken care of in both situations.
"I thought that's what moms were for."
My wife works 14 hours a day. I work 12. Every night we eat dinner with our children, help them with their homework and get them to bed. Every Friday night the housekeeper goes home and we spend the weekend with our kids, no work.
Every Sunday night the housekeeper comes back for the week.
Both my kids pull straight A's in school and both have outside activities which include music and sports as well as an active social life.
Based on this, I don't think it is so bad having someone that can prepare our meals, keep the house in order and watch the kids every now and then so my wife and I can enjoy a good meal or go away overnight.
Do you know what the next one is?
No ma'am. We are gonna be suprised just like the first time. It's more fun that way. :o)
I'm very happy for you. Babies are great. I miss em.
They are, but 2.5 YOs are much more fun than infants, I'll tell ya.
All is well on the Kansan plains these days?
You?
Wow. My ten-year-old takes out trash, picks up the living room and his room, and cleans the cat's litter box. He's got another year or so before he starts doing dishes...
You mean? You are but a wallflower! ;o)
All is well. Daughter is getting to smart for her britches and work is busier than ever (darn Bush Economy)
Well said. Have you read the book "Discovering the Mind of a Woman?" If not, you have almost nailed the point of the book. It's a great read for any guy trying to improve his marriage and love his wife more.
Yes, I do believe men deserve something, and much better than American women have to offer. And I'm not looking overseas for a spouse: I found a wonderful wife there years ago, and we're still very happily married. American women lucky?! Most unhappy creatures I've ever encountered, and all their own doing.
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