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WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS
Email from various | Unk | Assorted

Posted on 08/06/2006 4:28:00 AM PDT by SLB

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... If you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"I cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is one." - Winston Churchill, in reply.


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: budgie; charlietheparrot; godsgravesglyphs; parrot; quotes; unitedkingdom; winstonchurchill
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To: don-o

Heard at Parris Island:
"I want it so quiet in here I can hear a mouse pissing on cotton."


121 posted on 08/06/2006 8:35:33 AM PDT by Past Your Eyes (Monotheism is a gift from the gods.)
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To: Past Your Eyes
Junior Samples on Hee Haw.

Off topic, but I never hear of Jr w/o thinking of one of the funniest bits ever on Hee Haw.

From memory

Archie Campbell: "Junior, what's the first thing you notice about a woam? Her eyes, her smile, her hair....?"

Junior: "How far back on her shoulders her arms are hung"

122 posted on 08/06/2006 8:35:54 AM PDT by don-o (Proudly posting without reading the thread since 1998. (stolen from one cool dude))
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To: SLB
Since I enjoyed the movie, "V For Vendetta", I researched the gun powder plot. Guy Fawkes was convicted of trying to blow up Parliament and murder the king.

In later years, a politician claimed Guy Fawkes was the only person in history to enter Parliament with honorable intentions.
123 posted on 08/06/2006 8:39:27 AM PDT by Shooter 2.5 (Vote a Straight Republican Ballot. Rid the country of dems. NRA)
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To: don-o

ROFLMAO!! Junior was one-of-a-kind.


124 posted on 08/06/2006 8:49:47 AM PDT by Past Your Eyes (Monotheism is a gift from the gods.)
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To: Past Your Eyes
And I screw it up with a typo!!

woam = woman

(bangs head on keyboard)

125 posted on 08/06/2006 8:58:18 AM PDT by don-o (Proudly posting without reading the thread since 1998. (stolen from one cool dude))
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To: don-o
And a lot of those Hee Haw wimmin had arms that hung way back on their shoulders as I recall.
126 posted on 08/06/2006 9:00:28 AM PDT by Past Your Eyes (Monotheism is a gift from the gods.)
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To: 5Madman2
"Just because your a$$ exerts a gravitational pull, doesn't mean the Universe revolves around you"

In "Garfield" recently Jon said, "The universe doesn't revolve around you, you know."

Garfield asked, "What makes you think that?"

"Too long a trip," was the reply.

Shalom.

127 posted on 08/06/2006 9:00:49 AM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: Past Your Eyes

Boy howdy, to say the least. Nurse Goodbody fer starters!


128 posted on 08/06/2006 9:06:28 AM PDT by don-o (Proudly posting without reading the thread since 1998. (stolen from one cool dude))
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To: R. Scott

That wouldn't have been in one of the line companies of 3/33 AR, circa '80-'82 would it? Our Iron Mike was a tough guy, played rugby, para-sailed onto the parade ground Sunday mornings, drank with his crews when they qualified at Graf, broke a beer bottle over his own head ala' John Belushi once.


129 posted on 08/06/2006 9:07:32 AM PDT by skepsel
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To: ArGee

I don't remember seeing it, but it may have been what planted the seed in my fertile mind

Fertile=Full of compost :)


130 posted on 08/06/2006 9:10:19 AM PDT by 5Madman2 (There is no such thing as an experienced suicide bomber)
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To: windcliff

ping


131 posted on 08/06/2006 9:10:40 AM PDT by stylecouncilor
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To: Northern Yankee
"I have a good mind to join a club, and beat you over the head with it".

-- Groucho Marx (in, I think, "Horsefeathers")

132 posted on 08/06/2006 9:11:08 AM PDT by kstewskis (Hey La Raza and illegals....IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A VICTIMLESS CRIME!!)
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To: kstewskis
Back on topic

"He looked at foreign affairs through the wrong end of a municipal drainpipe."

Sir Winston On Neville Chamberlain

133 posted on 08/06/2006 9:17:35 AM PDT by don-o (Proudly posting without reading the thread since 1998. (stolen from one cool dude))
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To: kstewskis

Bill Clinton is a lying, murderous sack of shit! - Mawg.


134 posted on 08/06/2006 9:18:46 AM PDT by MAWG
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To: MAWG

Hillary Clinton is a lying, murderous sack of shit Commie Dike! - Mawg


135 posted on 08/06/2006 9:20:27 AM PDT by MAWG
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To: MAWG

Can we say shit on FR?


136 posted on 08/06/2006 9:21:55 AM PDT by don-o (Proudly posting without reading the thread since 1998. (stolen from one cool dude))
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To: MAWG
More on Bubba from this website.
Bill Clinton's foreign policy experience is pretty much confined to having had breakfast once at the International House of Pancakes.
- - - Pat Buchanan

I'm just sick and tired of presidents who jog. Remember, if Bill Clinton wins, we're going to have another four years of his white thighs flapping in the wind.
- - - Arianna Huffington, 1995

When I was president, I said I was a Ford, not a Lincoln. Well what we have now is a convertible Dodge.
- - - Gerald Ford (about Bill Clinton, 1996)

President Clinton apparently gets so much action that every couple of weeks they have to spray WD-40 on his zipper.
- - - David Letterman, 1998

Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.

- - - Tom Clancy, 1998

137 posted on 08/06/2006 9:22:24 AM PDT by mollynme (cogito, ergo freepum)
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To: MAWG

...who lacks any perceivable shred of morals.


138 posted on 08/06/2006 9:23:33 AM PDT by Past Your Eyes (Monotheism is a gift from the gods.)
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To: mollynme
"When I was president, I said I was a Ford, not a Lincoln. Well what we have now is a convertible Dodge. - - - Gerald Ford (about Bill Clinton, 1996)"

I happened to be watching the Republican convention when Ford said that. Probably the most memorable thing he ever said. And I thought I was the only one who remembered it.

139 posted on 08/06/2006 9:26:32 AM PDT by Past Your Eyes (Monotheism is a gift from the gods.)
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To: ovrtaxt

…Back in London, I was having dinner in the Groucho Club - this week’s in-spot for what’s left of Britain’s lit glitz and nouveau rock riche - when one more person started in on the Stars and Stripes. Eventually he got, as the Europeans always do, to the part about “Your country’s never been invaded.” (This fellow had been two during the Blitz, you see.) “You don’t know the horror, the suffering. You think war is…”

I snapped.

“A John Wayne movie,” I said. “That’s what you were going to say, wasn’t it? We think war is a John Wayne movie. We think life is a John Wayne movie - with good guys and bad guys, as simple as that. Well, you know something, Mister Limey Poofter? You’re right. And let me tell you who those bad guys are. They’re us . WE BE BAD.

“We’re the baddest-assed sons of bitches that ever jogged in Reeboks. We’re three-quarters grizzly bear and two-thirds car wreck and descended from a stock market crash on our mother’s side. You take your Germany, France and Spain, roll them all together and it won’t give us room to park our cars. We’re the big boys, Jack, the original, giant, economy-sized, new and improved butt kickers of all time. When we snort coke in Houston, people lose their hats in Cap d’Antibes. And we’ve got an American Express card credit limit higher than your piss-ant metric numbers go.”

“You say our country’s never been invaded? You’re right, little buddy. Because I’d like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who’d have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get our hearts started in the morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying ‘Cheerio.’ Hell can’t hold our sock-hops. We walk taller, talk louder, spit further, f*ck longer and buy more things than you know the names of. I’d rather be a junkie in a New York City jail than king, queen and jack of all you Europeans. We eat little countries like this for breakfast and shit them out before lunch.”

P.J.O’Rourke - Holidays in Hell


140 posted on 08/06/2006 9:27:55 AM PDT by kabar
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