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WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS
Email from various | Unk | Assorted

Posted on 08/06/2006 4:28:00 AM PDT by SLB

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... If you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"I cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is one." - Winston Churchill, in reply.


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: budgie; charlietheparrot; godsgravesglyphs; parrot; quotes; unitedkingdom; winstonchurchill
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To: SLB

Britain is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than the sex.
- - - Jackie Mason


41 posted on 08/06/2006 5:44:59 AM PDT by ovrtaxt (We gotta watch out for the Hellbazoo and the Hamas...)
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To: SLB

Some of my favorite quotes come from Colonel Jeff Cooper:

“The will to survive is not as important as the will to prevail... the answer to criminal aggression is retaliation.”

“One cannot legislate the maniacs off the street... these maniacs can only be shut down by an armed citizenry. Indeed bad things can happen in nations where the citizenry is armed, but not as bad as those which seem to be threatening our disarmed citizenry in this country at this time.”

We continue to be exasperated by the view, apparently gaining momentum in certain circles, that armed robbery is okay as long as nobody gets hurt! The proper solution to armed robbery is a dead robber, on the scene.

"One bleeding-heart type asked me in a recent interview if I did not agree that 'violence begets violence.' I told him that it is my earnest endeavor to see that it does. I would like very much to ensure—and in some cases I have—that any man who offers violence to his fellow citizen begets a whole lot more in return than he can enjoy." - Cooper vs. Terrorism

We are somewhat amused by the hysteria manifest in the press at the suggestion by Gordon Liddy that if one is menaced by bad guys (particularly the ninja) one is wise to shoot for the head. That statement has got a whole bunch of journalists and commentators bleeding from the nose. One wonders why it should. Where else should you shoot a man if he is probably wearing an armored vest? If you decide to shoot you have made the big decision. Where you place your shot is merely a technical matter. - Jeff Cooper's Commentaries, Independence Issue, 1995


42 posted on 08/06/2006 5:45:31 AM PDT by MarkL (When Kaylee says "No power in the `verse can stop me," it's cute. When River says it, it's scary!)
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To: SLB

The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their own children to drink wine, they gibber like baboons even when you try to speak to them in their own wimpy language.
- - - P.J.O'Rourke


43 posted on 08/06/2006 5:45:50 AM PDT by ovrtaxt (We gotta watch out for the Hellbazoo and the Hamas...)
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To: SLB

Her face was her chaperone.
- - - Rupert Hughes


44 posted on 08/06/2006 5:48:57 AM PDT by ovrtaxt (We gotta watch out for the Hellbazoo and the Hamas...)
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To: Oztrich Boy

That is my very favorite.


45 posted on 08/06/2006 5:51:21 AM PDT by cajungirl (no)
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To: SLB

Hemingway had a nice zinger


46 posted on 08/06/2006 5:51:23 AM PDT by Vision (“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me" Philippians 3:14)
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To: ovrtaxt

"He not only knows nothing, he suspects nothing." C. J. Hart (my old HS Spanish teacher)


47 posted on 08/06/2006 5:53:30 AM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks (BTUs are my Beat.)
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To: Vision

Well, that was just his wife's opinion.


48 posted on 08/06/2006 5:53:31 AM PDT by ovrtaxt (We gotta watch out for the Hellbazoo and the Hamas...)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee."

Winston Churchill: "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."

And yet another one...

Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, you are drunk!"

Winston: " Yes, madam, but you are ugly. And tomorrow i'll be sober!"

49 posted on 08/06/2006 5:54:31 AM PDT by Celtic Conservative ("Minutum Cantorum, Minutum Baloram, Minutum Carboratum Descendam Pantorum")
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To: don-o

"Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the." - - - Mary McCarthy (about Lillian Hellman)"

That is really the best insult ever, at least about a writer. And that commie Hellman deserved it. Great you've included it here.


50 posted on 08/06/2006 5:55:15 AM PDT by jocon307 (The Silent Majority - silent no longer)
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To: SLB

I once had a company commander we called “Iron Mike”. He thought it was a compliment denoting his iron will and discipline. Actually it came from the term used for the auto pilot on a ship – no matter the course that is set, the ship will maintain it, regardless of dangers ahead. No thought required or allowed by an Iron Mike.


51 posted on 08/06/2006 5:56:57 AM PDT by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink)
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To: backhoe

Lord Chesterfield who was famously quoted on sex, something along the lines of "The pleasure is transitory and the position is ridiculous...


...And the consequences damnable."

All very true.


52 posted on 08/06/2006 5:57:40 AM PDT by jocon307 (The Silent Majority - silent no longer)
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To: SLB
The first episode of "Welcome Back Kotter" (yes - aged nicely, thanks) included a trade between the teacher (Kotter played nicely by Gabe Kaplan) and Vinnie Barbarino (where I first learned to loathe John Ravolta). Kaplan was discussing how insults had changed over the years since he was in school. He used to say things like, "Your mother wears army boots." Barbarino's reply? "Up your nose with a rubber hose."

Not sure that adds much, but that's what the thread made me think about.

BTW: that was the second to the last episode of "Kotter" I watched. Kaplan was good.

Shalom.

53 posted on 08/06/2006 5:59:32 AM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: SLB
My favorite (after someone accidentally, or not, rips one)

"Ah, your voice has changed, but your breath is still the same."

Or this one

"Some people were hit with the ugly stick. You were hit with the entire tree."

54 posted on 08/06/2006 6:04:00 AM PDT by mountn man (The pleasure you get from life, is equal to the attitude you put into it.)
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To: don-o
"No one can be as calculatedly rude as the British, which amazes Americans, who do not understand studied insult and can only offer abuse as a substitute." - Paul Gallico, US writer

"Shut your festering gobutit you snotty faced heap of parrot droppings. Your kind really makes me puke you vacuous, coffee nosed, maloderous PERVERT!!!

Look, I came here for an argument!

Oh, I'm sorry. This is abuse.

-Monty Python, British humor group

Shalom.

55 posted on 08/06/2006 6:11:22 AM PDT by ArGee (The Ring must not be allowed to fall into Hillary's hands!)
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To: SLB
"Don't think it hasn't been a dream! 'Cause it hasn't!"

-Bugs Bunny

56 posted on 08/06/2006 6:15:36 AM PDT by Reaganesque
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To: Carolinamom; kstewskis; Victoria Delsoul; Raquel; Izzy Dunne
Here comes the orator with his flood of words and his drop of reason.

- Benjamin Franklin

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.

- Benjamin Franklin

57 posted on 08/06/2006 6:16:43 AM PDT by Northern Yankee ( Stay The Course!)
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To: Northern Yankee

LOL! Franklin himself had an eye for French ladies.


58 posted on 08/06/2006 6:20:14 AM PDT by Carolinamom (Moderation in pursuit of justice is no virtue. ---Barry Goldwater)
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To: ovrtaxt

Her face was her chaperone.
- - - Rupert Hughes

God; I love that one!!!!


59 posted on 08/06/2006 6:20:17 AM PDT by my right
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To: Carolinamom; kstewskis; Victoria Delsoul; Raquel; Kelly_2000; Miss Marple; Molly Pitcher; lysie; ...
One more...

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

- Will Rogers

60 posted on 08/06/2006 6:24:13 AM PDT by Northern Yankee ( Stay The Course!)
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